External Help for Internal Conflict

Internal conflicts require acceptable solutions which may not be forthcoming from within oneself. In complex struggles between individuals, it's difficult to arrive at compatible remedies that meet each person’s needs. Mediators, attorneys and counselors are sought out to help each party agree on a compromise.

On the surface, outer circumstances may seem unchanged, but progress takes place when each person desires to end the chaos. A judge may order couples who want a divorce to get counseling to resolve child custody and finances. Marriage counseling can help couples work out conflicts before a divorce court becomes a necessity.

While conflict is unavoidable, it need not cause the relationship to fail. When there’s conflict, do your best to listen to all the other person has to say. Make an all-out effort to consider feelings from his or her point of view. Jesus in Matthew 5:25 encourages those in conflict to settle issues quickly while there is opportunity to do so. 

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The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of compassion and good deeds, free from doubts and insincerity. The harvest of uprightness is grown from the seed of peace by those who are peacemakers.

~James 3:17-18 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

If someone brings a lawsuit against you and takes you to court, settle the dispute while there is time, before you get to court.

~Matthew 5:25a Good News Bible

Broken Hearts Need Healing

Conflict seldom volunteers to go away on its own. Denial of conflict’s existence might ease the anxiety it creates, but denial isn’t an effective tool for successfully managing it. Denial is a defense for those who refuse to seek a resolution. An impasse is a cautious peace capable of erupting at the slightest provocation.

Paul and Barnabas, God's most dedicated missionaries became so embroiled in conflict, they parted ways. They could no longer work together. John Mark, the subject of their conflict, had deserted them and returned to his home. When he wanted to come back, Paul argued with Barnabas about this being advisable.

Their argument became so intense that Paul decided to go on alone. This example epitomizes how conflict builds a bridge to alienation and separation. Resolutions become possible when there are admissions of being mistaken. Paul came to this conclusion and asked John Mark to reunite with his ministry. What does this say to you? 

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Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is a good help to me in my work.

~2 Timothy 4:11 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

Make this your common practice: confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.

~James 5:16 The Message

Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice. Become mature, be encouraged, be of the same mind, be at peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you.

~2 Corinthians 13:11 Holman Christian Standard Bible