Fear to Listen = Failure to Communicate

Listening is easy when there is an appreciative reason for doing so, but it’s difficult when positive reinforcement is not present. It is possible to permit differences of intelligence, education, or even social standing to become barriers to listening. We often refuse to listen to information that challenges our beliefs and lifestyle.

There seems to be an underlying fear that listening compels us to modify our opinions and behaviors. Jesus encountered resistance from the religious leaders who felt threatened by any challenge to their authority. They refused to listen because they feared Jesus would change the current  balance of power and their way of life.

The fact is that someone else could have a better idea than ours, but if fear of losing our prestige or power is an issue, permitting that person to express their ideas and solutions is not permissible for us. Wise is the person who listens deliberately and empathically to others and also listens to the council of the Holy Spirit. So be quick to listen.  

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[Jesus said,] “Listen, then, if you have ears!” He also said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear! The same rules you use to judge others will be used by God to judge you – but with even greater severity.”

~Mark 4:23-24 Good News Bible

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Listening: An Act of Kindness

A fourth essential principle for effective communication is listening attentively or deliberately to others as they relay their message. Exercising this skill is a necessity because most individuals are selective listeners and biased in what they hear. When an inconsistency occurs between what is heard and what is acceptable, conflict may quickly reveal itself.

Research has discovered we’re capable of speaking up to 175 words per minute, while our ability to listen is in the neighborhood of 600 words per minute. However, listening becomes difficult if we permit our thoughts to jump ahead, trying to analyze the motive and purpose of the speaker or compose our response.

Kindness is authenticated as we deliberately and empathically listen when another person is speaking. This is necessary for catching the complete meaning of the message being communicated. Kindness, motivated by appreciation, reflects the heart and mind of the Lord Jesus Christ, who listens to our need to connect with him. 

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Ears that hear and eyes that see – we get our basic equipment from God!

~Proverbs 20:12 The Message

 And Jesus concluded, “Listen, then, if you have ears!”

~Mark 4:9 Good News Bible

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Deliberate Listening Leads to Effective Communication

To communicate effectively, careful consideration must be given to listening thoroughly with an open mind. Thorough listening does not mean racing ahead in your mind to formulate a response or rebuttal. For words to have value, they must be received with the same degree of importance as when spoken by the other person.

So a basic principle for effective communication is listening with empathy. Empathic listening includes identifying with and understanding another person's feelings along with their spoken words, even when the other person is trying to hide their feelings. Camouflaging your own feelings is done to avoid exposing tender vulnerabilities.

The objective of deliberate listening is to evaluate the spoken words. God gave us the willingness to listen so we could understand others. He repeatedly admonishes us to listen deliberately to him. By listening carefully, we demonstrate that his words as well as the words of others have value and are worthy of our love and appreciation. 

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Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear. “All of you listen,” he said, “and try to understand. Your souls aren’t harmed by what you eat but by what you think and say!”  

~Mark 7:14-16 The Living Bible

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