Listening: An Act of Kindness

A fourth essential principle for effective communication is listening attentively or deliberately to others as they relay their message. Exercising this skill is a necessity because most individuals are selective listeners and biased in what they hear. When an inconsistency occurs between what is heard and what is acceptable, conflict may quickly reveal itself.

Research has discovered we’re capable of speaking up to 175 words per minute, while our ability to listen is in the neighborhood of 600 words per minute. However, listening becomes difficult if we permit our thoughts to jump ahead, trying to analyze the motive and purpose of the speaker or compose our response.

Kindness is authenticated as we deliberately and empathically listen when another person is speaking. This is necessary for catching the complete meaning of the message being communicated. Kindness, motivated by appreciation, reflects the heart and mind of the Lord Jesus Christ, who listens to our need to connect with him. 

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Ears that hear and eyes that see – we get our basic equipment from God!

~Proverbs 20:12 The Message

 And Jesus concluded, “Listen, then, if you have ears!”

~Mark 4:9 Good News Bible

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Listening for Unity

What would you say is the primary purpose for communications? If you say to give or receive information or to clarify issues, you would be basically right. Communication is designed to help people understand what is needed to accomplish a task. It is important to listen thoroughly so there can be unity of thought and purpose.

Failing to listen by jumping to conclusions sabotages purpose and unity. Since each person may differ in willingness to hear information, it’s possible for there to be variations in what is understood, which then sets the stage for conflict. Prematurely coming to judgment with limited information causes disunity and turmoil. 

Listening to understand may mean delaying obvious conclusions. Active listening includes realizing the importance of words and feelings, for both give meaning and purpose to communication. Jesus scolded people for having perfectly good ears but still being unable to hear. So listen to identify feelings as well as the spoken word. 

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The one who gives an answer before he listens – this is foolishness and disgrace for him.

~ Proverbs 18:13 Holman Christian Standard Bible

 

And beyond all these things put on love, which is the prefect bond of unity.

~Colossians 3:14 New American Standard Bible

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Please Understand

To be understood is both a desire and a need that exists throughout life. Essential to being understood is the ability to communicate what you think, feel, and need. Listening attentively for understanding indicates others are important. There are several levels of communication, with each contributing to the need to be understood.

The first level involves discussing nonessentials like chatting about the weather, going shopping, or how children are doing, but this level can be an avenue for connecting emotionally and discussing other important issues. People tend to get stuck at this level, preventing deeper underlying issues from being discussed and resolved.

It takes time and emotional energy to relate your thoughts and feelings, but then others can understand who you are and what you need. God knows and understands you better than you know yourself and still loves you with an unfailing love. As you trust the Lord God with your fragile self, trusting others will become possible. 

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A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

~Proverbs 18:2 English Standard Version

Even before I speak, [Lord], you already know what I will say.

~Psalm 139:4 Good News Bible

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