How Can You Relinquish the Desire for Revenge?

Is revenge-seeking detrimental to your health and well-being? Think about this: Being possessed with revenge, a person has to be obsessed with anger, resentment, and hatred. Clutching desperately to these emotions, it’s impossible to love God while desiring to harm or destroy another person.

Hatred and vengeance produce separation and alienation from God and others. Think of attending worship service or Bible study absorbed with thoughts of revenge. It’s impossible to focus on what you’re hearing in ways that draw you closer to the heart of God. Hatred and revenge are like rust or acid that eats away at whatever it touches.

2 Peter 2:13 teaches that those who harm others will be the recipient of harm, including God’s judgment. There is a better way, and that is to turn over the need for revenge to God who is able to redeem that person. God’s desire is to redeem rather than punish. That’s what he will do for you.

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For you, O Lord, are good, and ready to forgive [our sins, sending them away, completely letting them go forever and ever], and abundant in lovingkindness and overflowing in mercy to all those who call upon you.

~Psalm 86:5 Amplified Bible 

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How Can Christians Overcome the Desire for Revenge?

The desire for revenge is so powerful it can devastate the one desiring it as well as the one to whom it is directed. Reinforcing this mindset are hurt feelings that evolve into anger, which then transform into hatred. Is it possible for this mindset to be present in those who profess to be Christian?

The desire for revenge is connected to internalized grief and sorrow as well as an impaired need to regain what has been lost. Someone caught in this trap believes revenge is justifiable. When possessed by this dire need for revenge, no alternative seems to be acceptable.

This happened to Cain, who murdered his brother. Being obsessed with revenge kills tolerance and compassion for others. Leviticus 19:18 gives God’s position on revenge. “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge, but love others as yourself, for I am the Lord God.” Ask God to bless those you hate.   

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When trials come, endure them patiently; steadfastly maintain the habit of prayer… And for those who try to make your life a misery, bless them. Don’t curse, bless.

~Romans 12:12,14 Phillips – The New Testament in Modern English 

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How Can Prayer for Someone Replace Revenge?

Cutting-edge revenge is a primary reason for our alienation from others. When the desire for revenge has been acted on, feelings of fear and guilt may soon override the attempt to justify what was done in hatred and bitterness. Cain could not have imagined the torment he would suffer for murdering his brother.

Listen as he cries out to God, “My punishment is unbearable. You have driven me from my home, and I will be hidden from your presence forever.” Cain’s grief is not linked to murdering Able, but to the consequences he now has to endure. Cain’s attitude of anger and hatred had made his gift to God unacceptable.

Fear and regret replace any joy a person may have experienced from getting revenge. God’s character will not allow him to bless someone obsessed with getting revenge, yet God’s word instructs believers to pray sincerely for those who cause your suffering and pain. Pray that God will be merciful to them – that prayer will be the source of your healing.  

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“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your friends, hate your enemies.’ But now I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may become the children of your Father in heaven.

~Matthew 5:43-45 Good News Bible 

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