The Necessity of Integrity for Communication

A basic principle for effective communication is, never assume the meaning you ascribe to words will be in compliance with other people’s understanding. In the workplace where men and women relate to each other professionally and personally, sexual innuendoes, cursing, and dirty jokes often enter a conversation.

Most individuals in the workplace have appropriate ethics that govern their speech. Still, there can be misunderstandings regarding what is said and how words are interpreted, so make it an imperative to avoid assuming that your understanding and perspective parallel that of those who are listening.

Effective communication does not assume that similarities in the meanings of words are identical for everyone. Words may have subjective meanings relative to a person’s experience. Integrity and honesty identify God’s boundary for effective communications. Psalm 101:2 offers guidance: “Be careful to live a blameless life by leading a life of integrity.” 

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Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than a person who is perverse in speech and is a fool. 

~Proverbs 19:1 New American Standard Bible

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Speak and Interpret Words with Integrity

A common mistake individuals tend to make is assuming there is no difference in the way words are spoken and how they’re interpreted. In addition, we assign to others the task of grasping the emotional implications of what has been verbalized. We may misread the nonverbal clue of silence as indicating agreement.

Parents have the responsibility of teaching children their language, yet we assume children learn the language by association. With adults, each word may be correctly interpreted according to context and meaning, but there can be hidden meaning that needs further explanation.

Another principle for effective communication is never assuming that words have the same meaning for each person. Honesty and integrity can’t always be known in conversations. However listen to 1 Chronicles 29:17. “I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there.”  Let this always be your objective. 

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To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity. 

~2 Samuel 22:26 New Living Translation 

The ones who live with integrity are righteous. Their children who come after them will be happy.

~Proverbs 20:7 Holman Christian Standard Bible

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Maintain Integrity in Your Language

Maintaining integrity in the use of language is a basic principle for effective communication. This is difficult to maintain in the presence of a heated discussion. Refuting another person’s beliefs can evolve into a “must win” mentality when accompanied by strong emotions.

If integrity is diminished, efforts to prove others at fault become the basic objective. As integrity weakens, nonverbal communication may become exaggerated, as authenticated by facial expressions, a passionate voice, and the fervent gesturing of hands and arms.

Yet when each person's integrity is honored, attempts to squelch communication is a non-issue because respect for others is paramount. Integrity permits diverse opinions and even desires their expression. In this atmosphere each person feels safe to be different, which builds trust and increases the potential for deeper intimacy. God's unconditional love and care honor our individuality. Let us follow God’s example. 

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The integrity of the upright will guide them, but the perversity of the treacherous will destroy them. 

~Proverbs 11:3 New American Standard Bible

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Communication Gatekeeper: Protector of Relationships

It’s impossible to agree with everything we hear due to personality differences, our religious and political views, and our perception of the world. In our closest relationships, disagreements are expected, but whether they evolve into conflict depends on the effectiveness of the gatekeeper’s influence and power over our emotions.

The gatekeeper, identified as the voice of conscience enhanced by the Holy Spirit, should provide alternatives to negative communications that could cause a relationship breakup. The purpose of the gatekeeper is to determine what is acceptable for healthy communications and the overall good of a relationship.

Proverbs 18:1 offers this reminder: "People who do not get along with others are interested only in themselves; they will disagree with what everyone else knows is right." A principle for effective communications is to make sure the highest level of integrity is maintained in language and motives. This pleases the Lord God. 

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Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

~Proverbs 21:23 English Standard Version

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