How Are Expectations Related to Anger?

Anger is an emotion that can be triggered instantly with little effort. There are numerous triggers for anger, including unmet expectations. Have you ever waited for someone, and after what seemed like an eternity, they finally showed up? They blamed traffic, but you suspected something else.

Feelings of neglect can be transformed quickly into anger, especially when a lame excuse for being late is interpreted as lack of care or respect. Even if anger is controlled and stifled, it can be impossible to keep it from being expressed passively, as in silent body language.

So what could be a possible solution to anger when someone does not live up to reasonable expectations? Psalm 78:38 describes God as restraining his anger to prevent its full expression. This model can help manage anger until a time and place become available to express it verbally in a calm, healthy way. God’s way is the best way. 

           

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People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm.

~Proverbs 14:17 Good News Bible

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How Do Expectations Affect Your Happiness?

There are those who say happiness is an illusion, a figment of the imagination, while others testify that happiness is possible, but not on a continuous basis. Happiness has a lot to do with expectations you have of yourself and others. If you were asked, “Who is the happiest person in your  family,” how would you answer?

When expectations fail to materialize, disappointment is normal. Unmet expectations create unhappiness, and if reality isn’t acknowledged, anger stemming from disappointment can evolve into depression which can distress the whole family. It’s important to realize depression is linked to grief.

By adjusting your expectations to comply with reality, you will be happier and so will those whom you love. Remember, God does not expect you to be flawless or sinless. That’s why he sent Jesus to be your Redeemer and Savior. As you accept this, God will give you more tolerance for others, resulting in you experiencing more joy and peace.  

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The next day, the news that Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem swept through the city, and a huge crowd of Passover visitors took palm branches and went down the road to meet him, shouting, “The Savior! God bless the King of Israel!”  

~John 12:12-13 The Living Bible

 

“When you go through deep waters and great troubles, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up – the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, your Savior, the Holy One of Israel.”

~Isaiah 43:2-3 The Living Bible

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Christ, an Anchor for Our Souls

Our strongest and most enduring drive is the will to live a healthy, long life. Paralleling the will to live is the drive to achieve and have children, who become our family and legacy. We strive to help our children develop character traits and values that contribute to the well-being of society and the good earth.

Achieving these goals often becomes the source for conflict. While it's difficult to understand what provokes conflict, we can certainly realize its presence and power. Conflict will frequently focus on unmet needs and expectations. Families typically expect each member to be thoroughly mature and responsible but disappointingly discover it isn’t true.

Time and change determine if expectations will be met. When expectations fail and discouragement abounds, our hope still can be anchored in the giver of all life, the Lord Jesus Christ.  He is “the way, the truth, and the life,” meaning Jesus will provide resolutions to whatever conflict you have to face. Attach your faith to this truth.  

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God cannot tell lies! And so his promises and vows are two things that can never be changed. We have run to God for safety. Now his promises should greatly encourage us to take hold of the hope that is right in front of us. This hope is like a firm and steady anchor for our souls.

~Hebrews 6:18-19 Contemporary English Version

Trust in Change to Bring Improvement - Part 2

One main component of conflict is unmet expectations that result in disappointment. As a college freshman, a promising athlete had high hopes of playing sports, but a serious injury kept him benched. As he improved, he fully expected to be allowed to play, but the coach refused. Anger and depression followed the disappointment.

The conflict he experienced with the coach became unbearable because his primary reason for attending college was to play sports. Bitterly disillusioned, he dropped out of college. Coincidentally, a friend later asked him to go to the driving range and hit some golf balls. Here he discovered he had a knack for driving the ball.

During the pain of disappointment and failure, this young man found an inroad for change that helped him let go of bitterness caused by unmet expectations. God in his mercy gave him a way to find direction, meaning and purpose in life. Jesus assures us he is the way, the truth, and the life. In Jesus, there is hope and light. He heals the heartbroken.