How Is Calmness Essential for Effective Communication?

One characteristic of every marriage is a communication style that reflects personality and temperament. Communication style refers to how couples speak to each other, how thoroughly they listen as well as how feelings are acknowledged.

All individuals react to words and to facial expression, including the eyes and the sound of the voice. Effective communication patiently allows others to say what they think and feel without interrupting. This reveals showing love and respect for each other and keeping intimacy alive.

When tempers begin to fly, walk away until each person has gained composure.

Calmness in the presence of a storm can be the means for finding solutions to problems rather than sinking into chaos. Listen to Proverbs 14:17: “People with a hot temper do foolish things; wise people remain calm.” A calm presence is essential for effective communication.          

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Do not let evil get the upper hand but conquer evil by doing good.

~Romans 12:21 The Living Bible

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How Are Expectations Related to Anger?

Anger is an emotion that can be triggered instantly with little effort. There are numerous triggers for anger, including unmet expectations. Have you ever waited for someone, and after what seemed like an eternity, they finally showed up? They blamed traffic, but you suspected something else.

Feelings of neglect can be transformed quickly into anger, especially when a lame excuse for being late is interpreted as lack of care or respect. Even if anger is controlled and stifled, it can be impossible to keep it from being expressed passively, as in silent body language.

So what could be a possible solution to anger when someone does not live up to reasonable expectations? Psalm 78:38 describes God as restraining his anger to prevent its full expression. This model can help manage anger until a time and place become available to express it verbally in a calm, healthy way. God’s way is the best way. 

           

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People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm.

~Proverbs 14:17 Good News Bible

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Diffusing a Short Fuse

Reactive anger can be explosive or even deadly. It seems to come from out of nowhere, taking those within its range by surprise. This type of anger evolves from built-up frustrations, disappointments and hurt feelings. A person who is perpetually on guard, tense and seldom relaxed is most vulnerable to spontaneous acts of anger.

  

          An example could be a person who works in a high-pressure, intense environment with little chance for discharging the tension that builds up during long days of stress. Consider law enforcement, academics or a military situation where stress is continual. Then later in a less-threatened environment, releasing pent up anger may become commonplace.

Diffusing reactive anger is possible by thinking through what upset you emotionally and what you can change. Entrusting your situation into God’s care will help build confidence to establish control. Then gently explain your thoughts and feelings to a friend or loved one you can trust. The counselor’s office is a safe place to trust for managing anger. 

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The hotheaded do things they’ll later regret; the coldhearted get the cold shoulder.

~Proverbs 14:17 The Message

If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day.

~Ephesians 4:26 Good News Bible