How Can Expectations Comply with Reality?

We’re not perfect enough to be continuously happy. Knowing this should prevent unrealistic expectations from being placed on oneself and others. A woman in her mid-twenties related how she canceled her engagement to a man she had dated for three years. The man could not meet her expectations as a future husband.

It’s not uncommon for those stricken with romantic love to project perfection onto the object their affection. I’m not implying that romantic love should not be part of the equation. However, it is possible to overrule the reality of imperfections in order to embrace a desired relationship.

God is always faithful in revealing the true nature and character of another person, where there is an open mind to accept what is true and factual. God sees us as we really are and still loves us unconditionally, and so I offer my thanksgiving. Expectations based on reality make happiness a greater possibility. The faithfulness of God is our greatest source for joy and peace.  

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To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness.  

~Ecclesiastes 2:26 New International Version

 

I rely on your constant love; I will be glad, because you will rescue me. I will sing to you, O Lord, because you have been good to me.

~Psalm 13:5-6 Good News Bible

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How Do Expectations Affect Your Happiness?

There are those who say happiness is an illusion, a figment of the imagination, while others testify that happiness is possible, but not on a continuous basis. Happiness has a lot to do with expectations you have of yourself and others. If you were asked, “Who is the happiest person in your  family,” how would you answer?

When expectations fail to materialize, disappointment is normal. Unmet expectations create unhappiness, and if reality isn’t acknowledged, anger stemming from disappointment can evolve into depression which can distress the whole family. It’s important to realize depression is linked to grief.

By adjusting your expectations to comply with reality, you will be happier and so will those whom you love. Remember, God does not expect you to be flawless or sinless. That’s why he sent Jesus to be your Redeemer and Savior. As you accept this, God will give you more tolerance for others, resulting in you experiencing more joy and peace.  

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The next day, the news that Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem swept through the city, and a huge crowd of Passover visitors took palm branches and went down the road to meet him, shouting, “The Savior! God bless the King of Israel!”  

~John 12:12-13 The Living Bible

 

“When you go through deep waters and great troubles, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up – the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, your Savior, the Holy One of Israel.”

~Isaiah 43:2-3 The Living Bible

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How Is Depression a Deterrent to Happiness?

The pursuit of happiness may vary with each individual since each person’s definition and need for happiness may differ. Two sisters who have the same parents could have opposite views of a career choice like being a stay-at-home mom. That choice may be perceived as wonderful by one but depressing to the other.

Depression is a deterrent to happiness. The mystery of depression is that there may be no apparent reason for its presence. It’s important to have a thorough evaluation by your physician to search for its cause. The longer depression remains an issue, the more  perplexing the challenge becomes to regain happiness.

God does not intend for us to be continuously unhappy, so perhaps now is the opportune time to trust God for making some long overdue changes for your life. Psalm 37:4 encourages you to “seek your happiness in the Lord God and he will provide your heart’s desires.” So commit yourself to Christ Jesus and follow his guidance.  

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[God says,] “Don’t be afraid, because I’m with you; don’t be anxious, because I am your God. I keep on strengthening you; I’m truly helping you. I’m surely upholding you with my victorious right hand.”    

~Isaiah 41:10 International Standard Version

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Are Unforeseen Obstacles to Happiness Manageable?

Everyone, with few exceptions, has happy memories from the past. For most of us the issue is maintaining happiness for as long as possible. Happiness is like maintaining good health, which has many determining factors. There are unpredictable influences, like other people’s choices, that cannot always be controlled.

This implies we should do our best at achieving our potential rather than underachieving. It means giving our best  while refusing to submit to unforeseen obstacles. Happiness often requires being creative and accepting challenges that require the best use of our gifts and talents.

God intends for us to enjoy life while not forgetting to offer thanksgiving to him for all he provides. Listen to Ecclesiastes 2:26: “God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness to those who please him.” Remember, those who trust in God and believe in him will always be the recipients of his love, joy, and peace.  

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Light dawns for the righteous, gladness for the upright in heart. Be glad in the Lord, you righteous ones, and give thanks to his holy name.

~Psalm 97:11-12 Christian Standard Bible

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How Do We Find Happiness and Joy in Difficult Times?

 Being happy requires more than enjoying life filled with fun, although fun may be connected to doing something relaxing and easy or completing a difficult and challenging task. When my dad taught me how to drive a farm tractor, it was difficult and stressful but still fun.

I never cease to be amazed by those who look back on a particular timeframe that was emotionally and physically demanding and say it was actually a good time. Couples who truly love each other will often say it was the difficult struggles that brought them closer together.

Happiness depends on your perspective of the past, present, and future. Trusting God to have a definite purpose in whatever you’re facing creates feelings of security and fulfillment. Listen to Romans 15:13: “May God, the source of all hope, fill you with joy and peace by means of your faith in him, so that your hope will continue to grow by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  May it be so with you.  

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Today is holy to our Lord, so don’t be sad. The joy that the Lord gives you will make you strong.

~Nehemiah 8:10 Good News Bible

 

You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills, the trees of the field – all the world around you – will rejoice.

~Isaiah 55:12 The Living Bible

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How Would You Define Happiness?

Happiness is a word that doesn’t need defining, for everyone has experienced it, if only momentarily. When happiness is relatively constant, you may believe, “I am so lucky, so fortunate.” Still, there may be feelings of anxiety that it will inadvertently evaporate.

It is possible to be contented in one area of life and be unhappy in another area when a life crisis is being experienced. Most wedding ceremonies remind the couple that when sorrows are shared, their impact is minimized, but when joys are shared, happiness is intensified.

Intimacy is made possible by untethered communication and trust, which signals that happiness and sorrow can coexist. The sorrow Jesus experienced in the Garden of Gethsemane was tolerable, for he knew he would soon experience eternal joy by being with God, his Father. Balancing joy and sorrow are possible by faith in God’s goodness.  

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Sing to the Lord, you faithful followers of his; give thanks to his holy name. For his anger lasts only a brief moment, and his good favor restores one’s life. One may experience sorrow during the night, but joy arrives in the morning.

~Psalm 30:4-5 New English Translation

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Is Continual Happiness Possible?

Casual observation reveals that we expect to be consistently happy. We may not be completely unhappy or disgruntled, but this slight degree of unhappiness keeps us hoping for positive change. Studies reveal that we will be exposed to unhappiness but change and growth may occur only during this timeframe.

Dissatisfaction and unhappiness can push us to seek help for personal and relationship problems. Yearning for change inspires us to reach out in search of solutions before troublesome problems expand beyond the scope of being resolved.

God wants you to remember that he is the giver of all good things. The cattle on a thousand hills belong to him, meaning he is the source of whatever you need, and he will supply your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. God recognizes your need, so give thanks for what he has already provided. His desire is to help you, so thank him for that blessing.   

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You have helped me, and I sing happy songs in the shadow of your wings.

~Psalm 63:7 Contemporary English Version 

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.

~Psalm 9:1 New International Version

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