Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Feel Shame? Don't Shift the Blame

There are various of ways to pursue forgiveness. One is to seek reconciliation immediately with little thought given to the seriousness of your hurtful behavior. This approach quickly seeks to diminish anger and hurt feelings that the wounded person experienced.

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The other approach is to wait patiently for the perfect time when the offended person is receptive to your appeal to be forgiven. The issue here is to prevent conflict from erupting that might cause more hurt feelings. Effective forgiveness must include a willingness to assume full responsibility for hurtful behavior without shifting blame to someone else.

Shame and guilt are diminished as seeking forgiveness focuses on making amends for what the other person endured by your offending words or behavior. It’s easy to justify hurtful behavior by blaming others, but this must be resisted. If you seek forgiveness from others in the strength of the grace and mercy God has shown you, peace that passes all understanding can be yours. Try it.  
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Turn to the Lord and pray to him, now that he is near. Let the wicked leave their way of life and change their way of thinking. Let them turn to the Lord, our God; he is merciful and quick to forgive.
~Isaiah 55:6-7 Good News Bible

In everything you do, you are kind and faithful to everyone who keeps our agreement with you. Be true to your name, Lord, by forgiving each one of my terrible sins.
~Psalm 25:10-11 Contemporary English Version

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