Why Is Criticism a Bad Habit?

Is it possible for criticism to become a bad habit for coping with stressful issues? Criticism attacks a person’s character and values, so it seldom succeeds in bringing about positive change because safeguards surface to protect oneself from accusations.

Responses may range from showing anger and rage to internalizing feelings of shame and guilt.

A method for confronting the criticizer is to ask him or her to tell you specifically what you’ve done to deserve the criticism. Then listen for any truth in the criticism, and verbally acknowledge that truth.

This response indicates a willingness to talk through problems rather than argue or fight. It projects an attitude of receptiveness to being corrected. Proverbs 9:9 offers wisdom: “Instruct a wise man, and he will be wiser; teach a righteous man, and it adds to his knowledge.” Determine to be a wise person as well as righteous when responding to criticism.            

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It is never fun to be corrected. In fact, at the time it is always painful. But if we learn to obey by being corrected, we will do right and live at peace.

~Hebrews 12:11 Contemporary English Version

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What Purpose Does Grief Serve in Our Lives?

Grief is impossible to avoid because so many variables of life are beyond our control, like other people’s behavior and choices. Loved ones pass away, divorce causes us much sorrow, our health declines, accidents result in permanent injuries, our children may never measure up to their potential.

Grief created by an important loss can become complicated when the grieving person becomes fixated or stuck in anger or depression. It’s understandable how a person could permit these crucial emotions to linger on indefinitely when so much of life changes by experiencing a significant loss.

Each stage of grief is designed to help us navigate a particular timeframe in recovery and healing. Thus God permits us to face that reality in stages so healing eventually can take place. God’s word is explicit. “Get rid of all bitterness and anger,” so you can experience his peace. God will help you do it.                          

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Then God’s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus.

~Philippians 4:7 God’s Word Translation

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How Difficult Is It to Trust the Anger of Others?

Maintaining an attitude of anger over an extended timeframe can be emotionally and physically costly. In addition, an angry attitude has a negative impact on those who constantly are within range of its expression. It’s difficult to trust a person who is subject to having outbursts of hostility, either verbally or physically.

Anger is costly, for it robs both the possessor and the one to whom it’s directed of the trust and intimacy necessary for a healthy relationship. Have you noticed how even pets will react with distrust and fear at the sound of an angry voice and attitude?

It’s incredibly important to discover the root of your anger. There’s a solution for anger, and that is to turn it over to God. He will do what is good and right for you and for the one to whom your anger is directed. God’s word advises, “Do not hate. Do not seek vengeance or bear a grudge, but love others.” So turn your anger over to God right now.                      

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…My strength evaporated like water on a sunny day until I finally admitted all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, “I will confess them to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

~Psalm 32:4-5 The Living Bible

God, pick up the pieces. Put me back together again. You are my praise!

~Jeremiah 17:14 The Message

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Should Anger Always Progress into Conflict?

What do you think was God’s intent for creating people with the capacity to feel and express anger? Just the sound of the word ‘anger’ has negative connotations related to its intensity and persistence, and in addition, much pain and suffering have been attributed to its existence.

An elderly man refused to visit a sister he had not seen in decades. The rift was created by hurtful remarks each had made after their father’s funeral, remarks regarding the distribution of the family estate. They had permitted their anger and hurt feelings to fester into bitterness.

God never meant for anger to be a springboard for bitterness and alienation, but rather to demonstrate love and forgiveness. Anger can helps us discover the character strengths to end conflict and turmoil. Psalm 85:1 reminds us of God’s way: “You forgave the sins of your people, so your blazing anger is now ended.” That is God’s purpose for you.                           

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But now you must get rid of all these things: anger, passion, and hateful feelings. No insults or obscene talk must ever come from your lips. … Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you.

~Colossians 3:8,13 Good News Bible

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Arrogant Pride and Passionate Anger

I'm sure Samson's parents were proud of him for several reasons. He was chosen by God to be a judge over the Israelites. What his parents’ guidelines and boundaries were for him as a child and adolescent can’t be known, but Samson’s lifestyle as an adult did not correspond with the lifestyle of one called to serve God with his gifts and talent.

Samson seemed unwilling to place boundaries on his angry impulses driven by violent thoughts. He was prideful and incapable of recognizing his complicity in the tragedies he experienced. He resorted to blaming others indiscriminately for his personal losses.

Unhealthy pride and passion victimized Samson by cutting him off from the potential God initially planned for him. Listen to Ephesians 4:31. "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice. Instead be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as God in Christ forgave you.” What may seem impossible becomes possible with God’s help.  

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What do you think the Scripture means when it says the Holy Spirit, whom God has placed within us, watches over us with tender jealousy? But he gives us more and more strength to stand against all such evil longings. As the Scripture says, God gives strength to the humble, but sets himself against the proud and haughty.

~James 4:5-6 The Living Bible

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