Don't Assume – Check for Understanding

In American culture, English is the preferred language. There are, however, a significant number of other languages spoken in the privacy of family homes. When speaking or listening to an individual from another culture who is just learning English, carefully choosing and using words in addition to thoroughly listening to what is said is imperative.

A basic principle for effective communication is being alert to the false assumption that what is spoken will be interpreted as intended. A word’s meaning may be clear and distinct, provided everyone is playing by the same rules of honesty and integrity. Beyond the surface meaning, however, words could have any number of implications.

Effective communication depends on each person knowing that what is said is actually what is meant. According to God, honest communication is convincing because it is trustworthy. Listen to God’s word from Proverbs 20:7. “The godly walk with integrity. Blessed are their children who follow  them.” You can be sure they’re watching.  

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A fool finds no satisfaction in trying to understand, for he would rather express his own opinion. 

~Proverbs 18:2 International Standard Version

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Choose Your Responses with Care

An essential principle in effective communication is choosing when to speak. Some people will say everything they think without considering that words impact people as significantly as any other behavior. We will remember words of criticism for a lifetime.

Evaluating the impact our words have on others is a wise choice. Proverbs 15:2 carries a warning: "The tongue of the wise conveys knowledge, but the mouth of the foolish gushes folly." We are to employ wisdom in the usage of words because harsh criticism seldom produces positive change. Carefully choosing affirming words builds a bridge to effective communications.

Our response to unwholesome speech can model patience and a caring attitude by controlling what and when we reply. Proverbs 12:8 offers guidance for these situations. "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise is healing". Carefully choosing words that please the Lord God brings his blessings into our lives. 

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[Jesus said]…”a man’s words flow out of what fills his heart. A good man gives out good – from the goodness stored in his heart; a bad man gives out evil – from his store of evil. I tell you that men will have to answer at the day of judgment for every careless word they utter – for it is your words that will acquit you and your words that will condemn you.”

~Matthew 12:34-37 Phillips – New Testament in Modern English

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Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.