Can Compassion Rise Above Resentment?

As surely as resentment has a negative cutting edge that wounds the heart and spirit, compassion has godly attributes capable of healing those wounds. Although it’s difficult to be vulnerable to the degree that compassion demands, it is possible, even toward those filled with hatred.

Compassion is similar to sympathy and empathy. Sympathy understands and shares feelings of sorrow and pain. Empathy is willing to put yourself emotionally in someone’s place who is experiencing that sorrow and pain. An American Indian proverb describes empathy as being able to walk in another person’s moccasins until you know what it’s like to be in their situation.

Compassion acknowledges that you have hurt others, whether intentionally or not. Compassion has the potential to be instrumental in helping others as well as helping yourself to heal. The Bible tells us God is full of mercy and compassion, and his compassion never fails, for it is new every morning.    

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Jesus the Son of God is our great High Priest who has gone to heaven itself to help us; therefore let us never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, since he had the same temptations we do, though he never once gave way to them and sinned. So let us come boldly to the very throne of God and stay there to receive his mercy and to find grace to help us in our times of need.  

~Hebrews 4:14-16 The Living Bible

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Hatred: Friend or Foe?

Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery because they hated him. They never imagined they would need to be forgiven for their betrayal. An American World War II soldier told how he survived the Bataan death march and years of brutality while a prisoner of war in Japan. He survived by hating his tormentors and thinking of his own plans for future revenge.

After decades of hating his tormentor, this soldier was able to meet him while visiting Japan. Listening to his tormentor’s story of personal torment and tragedy he’d endured since the war, the soldier’s hatred evaporated as his cold heart was filled with compassion. Hatred may initially feel like a friend, but it becomes an obstacle to forgiveness.

Wrong thinking prevents you from enjoying God’s blessings and love. Being unwilling to forgive is based on a false belief that it will punish those responsible for the hurt you feel. By contrast, forgiveness clears the way for constructive, healthy thinking and a clean heart. Then you are capable of being forgiven by the Lord God who loves you.  

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Whoever claims to be in the light, and yet continues to hate his bother is still in darkness. Whoever continues to love his brother is always in the light, and he is no hindrance to others. But whoever continues to hate his brother is in darkness and is living in darkness, and he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

~1 John 2:9-11 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

An Olive Branch Extended

Occasionally stories surface about a marriage or friendship that’s survived for years without experiencing conflict or turmoil. Differences can provoke anger and the desire to put someone in their place even when it damages that person’s self-esteem. Those experiencing such an attack may retaliate with equally offensive measures.

 

However, some people withdraw and stoically remain unwilling to negotiate an end to a silent war. Yet most people desire resolution and will offer an olive branch indicating a willingness to restore fellowship. Then there are those who desire peace and restoration, but lack courage or the skills to make it happen even when there's an open door for a resolution.

Conflict resolution must include forgiveness so peace and renewal can be achieved. As forgiveness builds the bridge to restoration, excuses for conflict are dismantled. Forgiveness allows compassion to be expressed towards those responsible for the pain and suffering. God will make a way for peace.  

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So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and suddenly remember that a friend has something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar and go and apologize and be reconciled to him, and then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

~Matthew 5:23-24 The Living Bible

So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them, and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, “I repent,” you must forgive them.

~Luke 17:3-4 New International Version