How Can I Keep from Rushing to Judge Others?

When a relationship fails, the questions everyone asks are, “Who was at fault? Who is to blame?” Friends and relatives choose sides because it’s difficult to remain neutral. By being impartial, it becomes possible to understand how each person participated in the relationship’s demise.

A relationship can fracture very early due to the baggage one or both people bring to the relationship. So what defines baggage? It refers to emotional wounds inflicted by past experiences that now make it difficult to trust and be vulnerable as God intended.

If that sounds hopeless, remember, with God all things are possible.Do not rush to judgment just to place blame, for “all have sinned and come short of God’s glory.” 

Ask yourself: “What does God want me to learn about how I function or communicate in relationships that contribute to failure to bond and attach?" Be still and listen to God as you wait. Pray for his help.             

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What if I could speak all the languages of humans and angels? If I did not love others, I would be nothing more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

~1 Corinthians 13:1 Contemporary English Version 

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An Open Door to Communication

Lack of constructive communication is the leading cause of conflict in relationships. What this implies is that inappropriate, ineffective, or disjointed communication provokes conflict. A primary level of communication gives instructions, teaches, and directs questions. This level of communication is helpful for all relationships.

Conflict is provoked by incompatibilities resulting in emotional and communication break-down. Efforts to communicate can be postponed until emotions are back to normal or else alienation may follow suit. Effective communication requires understanding issues as well as each person’s growing needs.

Getting to know another person opens the door for communications. Jesus devoted time to talking  to his disciples. He listened intently so he could know them and help them express their thoughts and feelings. This model also helps manage and resolve conflicts. Jesus said, “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.”  

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If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

~1 Corinthians 13:1 The Message

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