Communicate with Kindness, Not Cruelty

Communication can be direct and to the point or indirect and subtle. Either way can be effective in conveying information. Communication can express either warmth and loving acceptance or rejection with cold-hearted hatred. Words can be used as a means for resolving conflict or for advancing selfish desires and ambitions.

I recently observed a father attempting to manage his three young sons. His management style shifted from using a commanding voice to being humorous and playful, depending on what was needed at the moment. The boys could be playful and happy but then shift to using fighting, hostile words.

Adults also are capable of communicating with spiteful, malicious language that takes aim at another’s character and self-esteem. Proverbs 11:17 gives this counsel: “Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel.” So guard your thoughts and words, for in doing so you will please and honor what Christ Jesus expects of you. 

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Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.

~Proverbs 15:4 The Message

What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.

~Proverbs 18:21 Good News Bible       

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An Open Door to Communication

Lack of constructive communication is the leading cause of conflict in relationships. What this implies is that inappropriate, ineffective, or disjointed communication provokes conflict. A primary level of communication gives instructions, teaches, and directs questions. This level of communication is helpful for all relationships.

Conflict is provoked by incompatibilities resulting in emotional and communication break-down. Efforts to communicate can be postponed until emotions are back to normal or else alienation may follow suit. Effective communication requires understanding issues as well as each person’s growing needs.

Getting to know another person opens the door for communications. Jesus devoted time to talking  to his disciples. He listened intently so he could know them and help them express their thoughts and feelings. This model also helps manage and resolve conflicts. Jesus said, “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.”  

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If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

~1 Corinthians 13:1 The Message

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Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.