How Does Expressing Kindness Affect Acceptance?

Being accepted is one of the highest achievements mankind strives for throughout life. Acceptance depends on several contributing facts such as character, social skills, education, and a multitude of other factors. 

We’re born into a family where acceptance should be a given, but one child can be more favored than others, depending on gender and birth order. While children are not overtly rejected, one may be more favored.

The content of all emotional attachments is communicated by affection and joyful feelings expressed toward each child. Your feelings, whether positive or negative, represent acceptance or rejection.

Proverbs 11:12 confirms: “It’s foolish to speak scornfully of others.” The word 'scornful' describes an attitude of judgment and a hateful mood. Listen to Proverbs 11:17. “You do yourself a favor when you are kind….”  Remember, wise people think before speaking, and being kind promotes acceptance. Praise God for the kindness he demonstrates to us.

It is a  treasure to cherish.   

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So in Christ Jesus all of you are children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized have clothed yourself with Christ.

~Galatians 3:26 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

Now therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

~Romans 8:1 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

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When Is It Most Difficult for You to Be Nice?

Is there a time to be nice and a time to be firm? Nice implies a courteous and helpful attitude, but is it possible to act nice while feeling angry and frustrated internally? If being nice is your only option, what may not get expressed is honesty.

In some people’s opinion, being nice conveys reluctance to be absolutely honest. In truth, it is not always appropriate to verbalize everything you think or feel. Saying something unkind or deliberately hurtful is seldom, if ever, forgotten.

There is a time to say what you think and a time to remain silent. We often equate being nice with kindness, but is it possible to be kind while disagreeing on issues or a situation? Listen to 1 Corinthians 13:4: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” It is possible to be loving and kind when the Holy Spirit is your guide.  

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My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

~James 1:19 New International Version

 Those who are kind benefit themselves, but those who are cruel bring ruin on themselves.

~Proverbs 11:17 New International Version

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Communicate with Kindness, Not Cruelty

Communication can be direct and to the point or indirect and subtle. Either way can be effective in conveying information. Communication can express either warmth and loving acceptance or rejection with cold-hearted hatred. Words can be used as a means for resolving conflict or for advancing selfish desires and ambitions.

I recently observed a father attempting to manage his three young sons. His management style shifted from using a commanding voice to being humorous and playful, depending on what was needed at the moment. The boys could be playful and happy but then shift to using fighting, hostile words.

Adults also are capable of communicating with spiteful, malicious language that takes aim at another’s character and self-esteem. Proverbs 11:17 gives this counsel: “Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel.” So guard your thoughts and words, for in doing so you will please and honor what Christ Jesus expects of you. 

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Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.

~Proverbs 15:4 The Message

What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.

~Proverbs 18:21 Good News Bible       

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Empathy and Mercy: Freely Receive, Freely Give

The expression of empathy has the potential for building a bridge to forgiveness and reconciliation. Empathy builds this bridge because it neither demands punishment nor excuses wrongdoing. While God forgives our sins, we still must face the consequences for those sins, and this is true for other relationships.

Empathy looks beyond the surface issue to know what drives a person to behave as he or she does. Hope motivates the offended person to discover the cause of the offender's pain and suffering that may produce hurtful behaviors. By understanding at this level, we may see ourselves as needing redemption.

Empathy helps us realize the need to repent, to forgive and be forgiven. Feelings of mercy inspire us to give up the need to blame and punish. Listen for a moment to wise words from Proverbs 11:17: "The merciful man does good to his own soul."  May God bless you with the desire to be empathetic and merciful.  

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The Lord is merciful and good; our God is compassionate.

~Psalm 116:5  Good News Bible       

We have a High Priest (Jesus the Son of God) who can sympathize with our weaknesses. He was tempted in every way just as we are, only without sin. Let us have confidence, then, and approach God’s throne, where there is grace. So let us come boldly to God’s throne of love to get mercy and find love to help us when we need it.

~Hebrews 4:15-16 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

~Colossians 3:12 New American Standard Bible

Stay the Course with Steady Steps

Troubles can be aggravating and discouraging. There are times when it seems the only solution is to run away. Everyone has done that, if only by pretending trouble does not exist even when it faces them head on. Focusing on trouble with an unhealthy attitude can create unexpected problems. 

 

          Getting rid of Joseph by selling him as a slave appeared to be the best solution for his brothers. They would be free of the recipient of their hatred, yet not be free from the lies they had to tell their father. They set a trap for themselves because Proverbs 11:17 warns that whoever pursues evil finds death.

          God has a better technique for managing troubles of any magnitude. Listen to Psalm 119: "Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping the course you set for me; then I'll never regret comparing my life with your guidance. I thank you for speaking from your heart to mine because I desire to learn your righteous ways. I'm going to do what you tell me, O Lord."  Will you do that?

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Since we have such a huge crowd of people of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up, and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.

~HEBREWS 12:1 The Living Bible

Of course, my friends, I really do not think that I have already won it; the one thing I do, however, is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead. So I run straight toward the goal in order to win the prize, which is God’s call through Christ Jesus to the life above.

~PHILIPPIANS 3:13-14 Good News Bible