What Is Your Preferred Way of Communicating?

How do we communicate? Obviously with language, although not with words alone; the way words are formulated to give meaning to a message are important. The intonation and pitch of your voice and your body language are powerful communication tools.

Looks can be deceptive, such as a smile that communicates a nice greeting while hiding negative feelings and intentions. Everyone knows what it means to give or receive a simple smile, pretending all is well – when it isn’t.

Pretending might serve an immediate purpose, but reality will have to be faced. Psalm 31:5 refers to God as the “God of truth.” John 1:14 portrays Jesus as “full of grace and truth.” Self-evaluations are needed so God’s truth can correct questionable behavior patterns. Asking God for truth, facing that truth, and living with truth form a strategy for overcoming the need to give false impressions.                

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What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words. 

~Proverbs 18:21 Good News Bible  

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Want to Communicate? Then Communicate

During the initial days of a relationship, each person tries to present an acceptable image of themselves. How we communicate determines whether a relationship ends or goes forward. Each encounter is an interview which conveys truth and honesty – or disinformation and fiction.

It's not unusual for an individual to refuse to communicate except when necessary, and then only on a superficial level. Unresolved conflict is a primary reason for diminished communications. Becoming detached or distant in one's relationships reflects an unwillingness to live by the virtues that give life its richest meaning and purpose.

Unhappiness can result in a decision to live in emotional exile. However, effective communication therapy helps individuals become responsive and open enough to restore meaning and purpose to their relationships. Hiding from the truth is contrary to God's plan. God promises the truth will set you free, and you can trust God's word to be true. 

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Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

~Proverbs 18:21 English Standard Version

I will give you a new heart – I will give you new and right desires – and put a new spirit within you. I will take out your stony hearts of sin and give you new hearts of love.

~Ezekiel 36:26 The Living Bible

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Communicate with Kindness, Not Cruelty

Communication can be direct and to the point or indirect and subtle. Either way can be effective in conveying information. Communication can express either warmth and loving acceptance or rejection with cold-hearted hatred. Words can be used as a means for resolving conflict or for advancing selfish desires and ambitions.

I recently observed a father attempting to manage his three young sons. His management style shifted from using a commanding voice to being humorous and playful, depending on what was needed at the moment. The boys could be playful and happy but then shift to using fighting, hostile words.

Adults also are capable of communicating with spiteful, malicious language that takes aim at another’s character and self-esteem. Proverbs 11:17 gives this counsel: “Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel.” So guard your thoughts and words, for in doing so you will please and honor what Christ Jesus expects of you. 

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Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.

~Proverbs 15:4 The Message

What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.

~Proverbs 18:21 Good News Bible       

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Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.