How Can I Keep from Rushing to Judge Others?

When a relationship fails, the questions everyone asks are, “Who was at fault? Who is to blame?” Friends and relatives choose sides because it’s difficult to remain neutral. By being impartial, it becomes possible to understand how each person participated in the relationship’s demise.

A relationship can fracture very early due to the baggage one or both people bring to the relationship. So what defines baggage? It refers to emotional wounds inflicted by past experiences that now make it difficult to trust and be vulnerable as God intended.

If that sounds hopeless, remember, with God all things are possible.Do not rush to judgment just to place blame, for “all have sinned and come short of God’s glory.” 

Ask yourself: “What does God want me to learn about how I function or communicate in relationships that contribute to failure to bond and attach?" Be still and listen to God as you wait. Pray for his help.             

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What if I could speak all the languages of humans and angels? If I did not love others, I would be nothing more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

~1 Corinthians 13:1 Contemporary English Version 

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Need to Move Forward?

Forgiveness is a bridge builder to peace and a sense of joy. Without forgiveness, feelings of security essential to healthy relationships would be fleeting. The Apostle Paul teaches that the primary focus of forgiveness is reconciliation, a key component to fellowship with God and others.

A strong, unwavering desire to correct wrong behavior provides assurance that forgiveness is an honest, worthy objective. Desire for forgiveness has to be the basic primary motivation for seeking reconciliation, which means fellowship without shame and guilt. Desire, for some, is equated with a determination to reach a specific goal.

The desire for genuine forgiveness is made possible by believing an offender is beloved of God and worthy of kindness and goodness. We're all equal in terms of our inherent worth before God. St. Paul makes it clear that "there is none righteous...for all have sinned," and yet God joyfully forgives us. Please apply this truth to yourself and others.  

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With all my heart I praise the Lord! I will never forget how kind he has been. The Lord forgives our sins, heals us when we are sick, and protects us from death. His kindness and love are a crown on our heads.

~Psalm 103:2-4 Contemporary English Version

All people have disobeyed God, and that’s why he treats them as prisoners. But he does this, so that he can have mercy on all of them.

~Romans 11:32 Contemporary English Version

Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.

~Ephesians 4:29 Good News Bible

Feeling Afraid? Remember Your Faith in God - Part 2

There are unexpected moments in life when a good, positive memory is made that lasts forever. Some memories are so powerful they haunt us in ways that are uncomfortable or even disturbing. These we try to suppress, especially if they’re overlaid with guilt or shame or if they’re associated with anxiety, anger, or resentment.

Memories are stored in our brain like a savings account where they’re held in trust, ready to be examined or relived if a stimulant strong enough ignites and brings them to remembrance. God’s word declares, “All have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory.” Sin produces bad, negative memories, but here’s the good news. When we confess our sins and repent, we are forgiven and made right with God through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

When negative memories surface, confront these intruders with the fact that God dealt with them by cleansing and washing you clean through confession and forgiveness. The reality of dealing with unwanted memories from this point of view creates new memories that result in peace and joy.