Building Bridges with Our Language

The language we use builds a bridge either to understanding and acceptance or to confusion and disharmony. Language, no matter how unrefined, is basic for creating and sustaining loving relationships. When language escalates into hostile accusations, damage to the self-image and character of each person is unavoidable.

Provocative language used to control a situation or attack another person is usually met with equally defensive language designed to protect one’s self-image. Provocative language complicates the prospects for solving problems because the willingness to consider another's feelings, ideas and needs fades away.

Most problems can be negotiated where respect is extended to each other's feelings and ideas. Giving others an opportunity to express their ideas demonstrates trust and respect. Jesus' command was that we love one another, for doing so opens the door to trust and faith for building security into relationships.  

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Stop lying to each other. Quit being angry, hateful, and evil. No longer say insulting or cruel things about each other.  You have given up your old way of life with its habits.

~Colossians 3:8-9 Contemporary English Version

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Crossing from Anger to Trust

It's imperative to acknowledge that anger can be provoked in everyone, but it likewise can become the means for creating healthy, strong relationships rather than a force for destroying what’s potentially good and loving. While expressed anger can be frightening, it’s possible for it to be used constructively for resolving conflict and developing trust.

  

In a counseling session, a woman in a fit of anger took off her shoe and began thrashing her husband. This happened in an instant, to everyone’s dismay. After the adrenaline rush dissipated, she explained that her husband said something that infuriated her, so anger and rage took control.

Proverbs 15:18 declares, “A hot-tempered person stirs up dissension and starts fights.” Explosions of anger and rage seldom resolve issues or bring couples closer together. It’s imperative to accept  responsibility for your anger. Anger can be the means for expressing healthy feelings and thoughts while building a bridge to trust and respect.