Conflicted Within and Without

Conflict between individuals usually has its roots within one or both persons. When someone is troubled by conflict, it’s usually because of being forced to choose between different courses of action. After high school, I had to choose between a course of action that would please my parents or bring peace within myself.

One side argued for college and another for military service, which put me in conflict with my parents. This inner struggle represented distinct parts of my personality, each vying to be heard with their equally important viewpoints. This inner conflict eased when I chose the military, but tensions increased between me and my parents. 

Whether conflict is internal or external, decisions are demanded. The conflict with my parents subsided when they chose to honor and trust my decision. God does manage to “work all things out for good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose.” It was during my time in the military that I came to realize God’s purpose for my life.  

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Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

~Proverbs 19:21 New International Version

I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking to me about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!

Isaiah 65:24 The Living Bible

Jesus answered, “You do not now understand what I am doing, but by-and-by you will learn.”

~John 13:7 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

Fightings Within, Fears Without: Come to God - Part 3

Internal struggles can be caused by having a lack of self-control when faced with difficult choices. Learned patterns of thinking and believing may serve as obstructions to realizing success and happiness. A man in his forties explained how his parents overindulged him as a child, creating an impression that life would be easy and that others were obliged to meet his needs.

Overindulgence produced impatience with others and a lack of self-control. While he was not a drug or alcohol abuser, he found it difficult to resist other temptations. Although we have the right to pursue what could be construed as happiness, we do not have the right to violate the ethical rules and guidelines of society or of God’s laws.

Beyond society’s expectations, God’s laws eventually become conscious to each person. However, true and lasting confidence comes from being certain of your standing with Christ Jesus as Savior and Lord. Internal strife and conflict diminish as Christ Jesus becomes real in every aspect of your life.

Fightings Within, Fears Without: Come to God - Part 2

Internal struggles are often related to unexpressed resentment and perhaps to striving to live up to the expectations of others. A young woman in her last year of medical school abruptly resigned, much to her parents’ dismay. For her, each day of medical school had been a battle. The war existed between what her parents expected of her and the realization that medical school was not her passion.

Even gifted and talented people get stuck in unlikable careers, often out of necessity. Job 3:26 clearly identified the young woman’s position: “I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, only turmoil.” The surgery rotation convinced her beyond a shadow of doubt that being a physician was not in her future.

While she had to face her parents, friends and extended family, the young woman believed God had a place for her where she could be at peace within herself. Her choice was a step of faith and trust after prayer and counsel with her professors. Internal peace comes by making peace with God and being in his will, which he desires for each of us.  

Inner Conflict? Let God Help - Part 3

Inner conflict is produced from feeling inadequate for managing life’s problems. Some problems are pushed aside if there is little urgency for resolution, but this delay or inaction may give rise to the accumulation of strife. Knowing problems exist but lacking the will to address them can produce feelings of inadequacy, failure and guilt.

          Jody, a professional businesswoman and a single mother, permitted her house get so cluttered that she felt it was impossible to clean it. She felt ashamed because her children were embarrassed to have friends over. Self-belittlement often is caused by distortion of problems and one’s inability to solve them.

When Jesus instructed his disciples and us to be perfect as God the Father is perfect, he meant that we were to progress toward maturity. In this progression toward maturity, reality is more easily accepted. Isaiah 58:9 is encouraging: “It is the Sovereign Lord who helps me, so who is he who would condemn me?” Expect God to help.  

Inner Conflict? Let God Help - Part 2

Everyone experiences inner conflict. Recently a young woman identified two conflicting voices within her head. One voice was screaming, “You’re ugly, inferior, and unlovable!” The other side countered, “You’re smart, pretty, and lovable.” When the negative voice became dominant, she felt depressed and wanted to escape the pain.

While most inner conflicts do not produce extreme turmoil, lack of self-acceptance causes grief and sadness. Inner conflict distorts the true self, prohibiting the expression of trust and love for self and others. Fear of criticism often parallels self-condemnation. Internal conflict may diminish feeling the flow of love from God and others.

Job remarked to his friends, “Even if I were innocent, my mouth would condemn me; if I were blameless, it would pronounce me guilty.” The good news for those who trust Christ Jesus as Savior and Lord is that freedom from guilt and shame exists through his forgiveness and cleansing. Restoration of souls is God’s business.

Inner Conflict? Let God Help - Part 1

Anger is a common emotion experienced by everyone. Out-of-control anger can destroy marriages and friendships. Anger turned inward, kept hidden or expressed in subtle ways, tends to isolate people emotionally. Anger causes inner turmoil that’s expressed as irritation with self and others. Inner conflict can be disconcerting, making peace difficult to achieve.

Someone observed that anger is analogous to “meeting the enemy, and it’s us.” We can be our own worst enemy. Benjamin Franklin’s wise counsel is to “Love your enemies for they’ll tell you your faults.” When our defects are hidden, we become vulnerable to anger whenever someone comes close to identifying those faults.

God’s word encourages Christians to confess their faults and sins to trusted Christian friends. When inner conflicts produce too much personal strife, seeking professional help can be God’s way of helping you heal from the wounds that produced the anger. You can trust God always to be at work to bring you goodness and peace.