Is It Possible to Make Compassion a Core Value?

In our society, compassion is difficult to practice. On the other hand, frustration, anger, and resentment seem to conform easily to stress that’s ever present as we rush to complete our things-to-do and places-to-be. Resentment derives from perceiving ourselves as caught in a trap, pursuing whatever makes us happy.

Children can be so caught up in after-school and weekend activities that time to rest and play are canceled out. I’m not thinking specifically about sports but about whatever is loaded with competition to win. Perhaps this isn’t your situation, but guard against relegating compassion to the bottom of your list.

To regain compassion, begin with making it your core value. Compassion is a virtue, a treasure to seek and to give each day. 

Listen to Colossians 3:12: “Clothe yourselves with compassion, humility, kindness, gentleness, and patience.” Do this as carefully as you would clothe yourself for a special occasion.  

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And God? Compassionate! Forgave the sin! Didn’t destroy! Over and over he reined in his anger, restrained his considerable wrath.  

~Psalm 78:38 The Message

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Is Compassion a Match for Resentment?

Resentment has little or no capacity for compassion because its main objective is to punish and inflict suffering. Resentment and anger are difficult subjects to discuss openly because they imply weakness rather than the shrewd strength a person desires to demonstrate.

Anger and resentment lead to experiences that are difficult to justify. The danger of hoarding resentment is that it tends to harden the heart against the truth. Frustration turns into resentment as personal power erodes. Resentment blocks sympathy and compassion for whomever is the object of its forceful power.

A mother described how she was convinced her daughter made a mistake in her choice of a young man to marry. Her dislike grew into resentment that soured her relationship with her daughter. With God’s help she began to earnestly pray for her son-in-law, which eventually enabled her to replace the resentment with compassion, a sure cure for resentment. 

           

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To conclude: You must all have the same attitude and the same feelings; love one another, and be kind and humble with one another.

~1 Peter 3:8 Good News Bible

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How Do Weeds of Resentment Ruin Lives?

At the depth of resentment lie feelings of powerlessness created by feeling rejected by others. Instead of initiating communication to address the hurt and anger, these powerful feelings can be repressed where they give birth to resentment. Surface anger may be acted out to imitate authority and control.

Resentment has the capacity to distort facts, the truth, and reality. When memories associated with resentment are continuously replayed, distorting the facts of what actually happened becomes a probability.

God’s word does not say expressing anger is bad at the proper time, to the appropriate degree, or with the right person. His word from Hebrews 12:14 is encouraging. “Let it be your ambition to live in peace with everyone in order for you to attain holiness, without which you will not be able to see the Lord God.” So continue looking after one another in order that no one fails to gain God’s special blessings.

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Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.

~Hebrews 12:15 The Message 

See to it that no one falls short of God’s grace, that no root of resentment springs up and causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.

~Hebrews 12:15 Amplified Bible

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Is It Anger or Resentment?

It’s often difficult to distinguish anger from resentment. There are, however, distinguishing factors present in anger that separate it from resentment. Anger can be aroused instantly while resentment tends to evolve over a period of time. Resentment builds physical and emotional boundaries to restrict a person or group.

All humans will display some form of power, either aggressively or passive aggressively. God intended for everyone to possess power that’s appropriate to age and circumstances. Resentment is defined by lack of love and compassion, often coupled with the need for revenge.

If you’ve lost trust and respect for someone, ask God to help you regain that in ways that honor him. Listen to Leviticus 19:18. “Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love others as you love yourself.” Resentment diminishes when you ask God to bless others as you want God to bless you. 

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As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.”

~1 Peter 1:14-16 The Message

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What Are Effective Solutions to Anger?

Chronic anger and resentment give birth to cynicism, which reflects a negative appraisal of situations, people, and life in general. Cynicism produces the pessimistic view that people are not good and their objective is to inflict suffering on others. Cynicism erects walls that foster separation and alienation.

The longer cynicism is nurtured, the more intense it becomes and then evolves into lack of trust for those to whom it is directed. People whose relationships fail may develop a pessimistic attitude toward all relationships and prefer to be alone.

However, the core attribute of a believer’s faith is trust that God is at work to bring about his perfect will for you. 

So be quick to listen but slow to speak because anger does not achieve God’s righteous purpose for you. As you accept this truth, your trust in Christ Jesus produces certainty that with the Lord God, all things are possible.                      

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Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and] slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us].

~James 1:19-20 Amplified Bible

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What Negates Promises to Control Anger?

Resentment emanates from unresolved anger attached to emotional pain that refuses to be healed. Resentment may never be articulated but be retained silently and indefinitely. That’s why it takes the powerful touch of the Lord Jesus Christ to be healed spiritually and emotionally.

After an episode of expressed chronic anger, a person may promise never to let it happen again because the after-effect is pain and suffering for all involved. By acknowledging that accumulated anger transforms into resentment and contaminates your well-being, it is necessary to surrender your resentment to God’s forgiving power.

As you give yourself completely to Christ Jesus, he frees you from resentment’s power. By God’s grace you are in a position to forgive others, and as you keep your mind fixed on the presence of Christ in you, evil loses it power over you.

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Do what the Lord wants, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Let the Lord lead you and trust him to help.  

~Psalm 37:4-5 Contemporary English Version

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What Is the Reward for Turning from a Resentful Attitude?

No emotional cutting edge is sharper than resentment, for it becomes a consuming passion. This truth was acted out by Saul, the king of Israel, as he permitted jealousy to be transformed into resentment. Saul knew God’s prophet Samuel had anointed David to be the next king and that David was also the people’s choice.

Saul could have accepted God’s choice of David to succeed him, for God’s choice is always superior to our own. Jealousy and fear overcame Saul, which prevented him from trusting David as a loyal servant and loving him as God’s choice. Saul preferred resentment rather than trusting God’s choice.

Saul could have chosen to mentor David in statesmanship, but he let resentment cancel that out. Resentment works against believing that God is the source of forgiveness. Remember, peace is God’s reward for letting go of a resentful attitude. God will give you courage and faith to emotionally turn resentment over to him. 

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Dear brothers [and sisters], if a Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help him back onto the right path, remembering that next time it might be one of you who is in the wrong.

~Galatians 6:1 The Living Bible

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