Is It Anger or Resentment?

It’s often difficult to distinguish anger from resentment. There are, however, distinguishing factors present in anger that separate it from resentment. Anger can be aroused instantly while resentment tends to evolve over a period of time. Resentment builds physical and emotional boundaries to restrict a person or group.

All humans will display some form of power, either aggressively or passive aggressively. God intended for everyone to possess power that’s appropriate to age and circumstances. Resentment is defined by lack of love and compassion, often coupled with the need for revenge.

If you’ve lost trust and respect for someone, ask God to help you regain that in ways that honor him. Listen to Leviticus 19:18. “Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love others as you love yourself.” Resentment diminishes when you ask God to bless others as you want God to bless you. 

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As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.”

~1 Peter 1:14-16 The Message

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Stop Vindictiveness in its Tracks

Vindictiveness evolves when conflict lingers on indefinitely as a consequence of refusing to consider other people’s ideas and feelings. A vindictive attitude seeks to punish anyone who is perceived as an enemy. An enemy could be a person who disagrees or who is out of step with another person’s goals and ambitions.    

When conflict dominates a relationship, distress may eventually evolve into vindictiveness. The longer conflict exists, the more it fuels the fire of vindictiveness, which can diminish any appearance of love and compassion for significant others. Vindictiveness has the power to prolong a stubborn, self-willed attitude that perpetuates conflict.

An attitude of vindictiveness can be healed by making a concerted effort to listen and understand another’s point of view. Proverbs 3:13 states: "Blessed is the man who finds wisdom and who gains understanding.” This is also a step to forgiveness and a possible new beginning. Is this your desire?  

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Hatred stirs up trouble; love overlooks the wrongs that others do.

~Proverbs 10:12 Contemporary English Version

This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience – it looks for a way of being constructive. It is not possessive: it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance.

Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage. It is not touchy. It does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it shares the joy of those who live by the truth.

Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love never fails.

~1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Phillips – New Testament in Modern English