How Long Will the Wounds Inflicted by Anger Last?

Anger is costly the moment it’s turned on another person or on oneself. The damage anger inflicts may not be obvious, but the cutting-edge wounds of anger can last a lifetime. A high school student shared with a friend the sadness he felt from being the recipient of constant anger directed toward him by his father.

An obvious cost to this young man is the loss of a close, loving relationship with his father. God intended for fathers to love their children, to nurture and actively support their interests and talents. God instructs fathers to teach children how to be successful, to love God and follow him all of the days of their lives.

The danger of habitual anger is that it transforms into hatred. Proverbs 10:12 warns in the New King James Version that “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sin.” It’s not too late to turn from anger and hatred and let the love of God cleanse and wash you and give you peace so forgiveness will be possible for you.                  

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If we confess our sins, we can depend on [God] to do what is right – He will forgive our sins and wash away every wrong.

~1 John 1:9 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

 

[Jesus said,] “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive you your sins, too.”

~Mark 11:25 The Living Bible

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In What Way Is Anger So Costly?

The high cost of maintaining anger takes its toll on those who use it as a means for coping with everyday life. Why would anyone resort to using this powerful emotion to control others or to manage the struggles everyone encounters in life? People discover early on how to use anger to manipulate others.

Children discover temper tantrums get positive results, especially in public places. Some adults take these learned behaviors into adulthood to avoid dealing with complicated issues. Excessive anger reflects an attitude of intolerance, which is interpreted as unloving and uncaring.

Anger will transform into hatred, ready to activate at the slightest provocation. Proverbs 10:12 warns that “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love for others offers forgiveness.” The solution for anger is to repent, to turn away from anger and hatred, so you will be acceptable to God and others.                       

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He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.

~Ephesians 1:7 New Living Translation

 

Now it’s time to change your ways! Turn to face God so he can wipe away your sins, pour out showers of blessing to refresh you, and send you the Messiah he prepared for you, namely, Jesus.

~Acts 3:19-20 The Message

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Stop Vindictiveness in its Tracks

Vindictiveness evolves when conflict lingers on indefinitely as a consequence of refusing to consider other people’s ideas and feelings. A vindictive attitude seeks to punish anyone who is perceived as an enemy. An enemy could be a person who disagrees or who is out of step with another person’s goals and ambitions.    

When conflict dominates a relationship, distress may eventually evolve into vindictiveness. The longer conflict exists, the more it fuels the fire of vindictiveness, which can diminish any appearance of love and compassion for significant others. Vindictiveness has the power to prolong a stubborn, self-willed attitude that perpetuates conflict.

An attitude of vindictiveness can be healed by making a concerted effort to listen and understand another’s point of view. Proverbs 3:13 states: "Blessed is the man who finds wisdom and who gains understanding.” This is also a step to forgiveness and a possible new beginning. Is this your desire?  

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Hatred stirs up trouble; love overlooks the wrongs that others do.

~Proverbs 10:12 Contemporary English Version

This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience – it looks for a way of being constructive. It is not possessive: it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance.

Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage. It is not touchy. It does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it shares the joy of those who live by the truth.

Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love never fails.

~1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Phillips – New Testament in Modern English

Only One Acceptable Option

When consideration is given to whom I'm willing to forgive and for what offense, I then believe there are self-prescribed limitations to the breadth and scope of forgiveness. However, this attitude does not comply with the standards of Christian faith since to forgive is without question the pathway to peace and joy.

To refuse to see the potential loss for not forgiving is to believe anger and bitterness are the more acceptable options. Some believe forgiveness is letting people off the hook for bad, hurtful behavior. However, when you forgive, you are letting yourself off the hook. Anger and bitterness give witness to sadness and pain.

Forgiveness helps individuals accept how their future happiness and peace of mind can be nurtured while simultaneously pleasing Christ Jesus. If you need to forgive someone, perhaps you could begin with this prayer: "Heavenly Father, help me develop a forgiving attitude toward the one who hurt me so deeply." Pray this prayer every day. God will bless you and give you freedom to enjoy your life.  

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He does not punish us as we deserve or repay us according to our sins and wrongs.

As high as the sky is above the earth, so great is his love for those who honor him.

As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our sins from us.

~Psalm 103:10-12 Good News Bible

Hate stirs up trouble, but love forgives all offenses.

~Proverbs 10:12 Good News Bible

Inferiority: Fuel for the Fire of Hate

Hate is a devastatingly evil force whose objective is to create unimaginable destruction and suffering. It's difficult to accept that someone could hate you to this degree. Joseph refused to believe his brothers hated him, so he naively made himself vulnerable to their hatred. Evil, an extension of hatred, avenges itself in ways that create devastation. 

          Hate is connected to some form of personal loss. Joseph was his father's favorite, which intensified hatred from his older brothers. Joseph was unusually handsome in addition to being exceptionally intelligent, which had been nurtured by Jacob, the boys’ father. Resentment cradled in hatred flowed from Joseph’s siblings.   

          Hatred is fueled by feelings of inferiority. No accomplishment generated by hatred ever diminishes inferiority. Hatred is diminished by accepting our own giftedness and the blessings it can be to others. As hard as it is to thank God for that giftedness and pray that it be devoted to God’s purpose, it is essential to do so. Hatred is diminished by the presence of God’s love. 

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Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

~Proverbs 10:12 New International Version

As God gave me His gift of love for every one or you, I tell you, don’t think too highly of yourselves, but take a sane view of yourselves, everyone according to the amount of faith God gave you…We have gifts that are different according to what His love gave us…Love sincerely. Hate evil; cling to what is good. Love one another tenderly as fellow Christians. Outdo one another in showing respect.

~Romans 12:3, 6, 9-10 Beck -- New Testament in the Language of Today