Forgiveness
that does not waver is usually anchored in solid boundaries. Setting effective boundaries may be misunderstood
because more is involved than making impulsive decisions that cannot be lived
up to or set aside and forgotten. The most difficult boundaries are those that ensure
the continuance of a relationship.
Boundaries
and forgiveness parallel each other to create stability and security for a
relationship. A couple experienced
turmoil over a twenty- year marriage because of infidelity. The wife seemed incapable of being satisfied
with home and family. After each episode
she promised to change, so her husband sidestepped the deeper issues to avoid conflict.
Refusing
to set boundaries to avoid conflict created an unstable marriage. Forgiving is different from placating,
overlooking and denying behavior that is unhealthy. Healthy relationships depend on forgiveness and
solid boundaries grounded in love. It's
appropriate to ask God for the courage to face the truth and to change.
Let us tell the
truth with love and in every way grow up into him who is the Head – Christ.
~Ephesians 4:15 Beck
– New Testament in the Language of Today
Stop lying to
each other; tell the truth for we are parts of each other and when we lie to
each other we are hurting ourselves. If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing
your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry – get over it
quickly; for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil.
~Ephesians 4:25-27 The
Living Bible
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