Manage Conflict: Commit to Engage and Change - Part 2

Couples get married believing they will live happily forever. When fantasy collides with reality, disillusionment can lead to despair. Disillusionment is created by failing to know and correctly understand another person. Couples ignore differences in each other's belief systems and personalities so that negotiating real differences will be based solely on each other's integrity and willingness to change to save the relationship.

The first wife of the architect Frank Lloyd Wright as well as his six children  gave up on him because he was unavailable, unengaged, and aloof. He had a type of resilience and hardness of character that made it impossible for him to be warm, loving, and involved as a father and husband.

Peter had a presumptuousness that had to be confronted. Jesus asked him: "Are you more than a friend? Do you love me unconditionally? Are you willing to step outside of your protective walls so you can love me completely?" Will you let Jesus choose you for his service?

Change, Challenge, and Convictions of Steel - Part 3

Engagement is a wonderful word most often referring to a couple's decision to make their relationship exclusive. Engagement means entering a covenant bond with promises regarding roles and behaviors to be honored for a lifetime. The integrity of each person entering this covenant bond affects the endurance of the relationship.

Engagement is an essential factor in communication. Engaging a person in conversation means more than exchanging words. It indicates two people are on the same track and their exchange of words is meaningful. To engage another person means to give value to that person, and it goes beyond words to give recognition to what another is feeling.

Resilience is related to staying on track rather than getting sidetracked. Jesus in John 21 demonstrated resilience with Peter when he asked him three times, "Peter do you love me?" Jesus was aware of the trials yet to be endured by Peter. He engaged and challenged Peter by asking for a commitment that would endure regardless of hardships yet to be faced.