Self-Respect: the Means for Self-Love - Part 3

Self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-love are all interconnected.  A young man graduating from high school was so overburdened with guilt that assurance of his salvation was beyond consideration. By his mid-twenties he was in a crisis with himself, with what he felt called to do, and with God.

When Jesus confronted the accusers of the woman caught in adultery with their own sin, they backed down even though their accusation had merit. When Jesus told the woman he did not condemn her but to go and sin no more, did he infer that she was to be perfect? He was calling her to a higher level of accountability and a more acceptable lifestyle.

This is an issue and struggle with so many Christians. Self-respect, self-acceptance, and self-love hinge on our choice of lifestyle. Internalizing God’s forgiveness and cleansing made possible by confession of sin and faith in Christ Jesus will dissolve guilt and make self-acceptance possible. God’s gift of faith empowers us to choose a better way.  

Self-Respect: the Means for Self-Love - Part 2

How important are self-respect and self-love for determining lifestyle, success and happiness? June Jordan, the only child of Jamaican immigrants and who became an American poet and essayist, wrote in a speech: “I am a feminist and I am black which means that I must love myself as though my life depends upon self-love and self-respect.” You may or may not agree with her, but can you sense courage and endurance in her self-assessment?

Have you considered what gave Jesus courage to begin his ministry as Messiah? How did he endure the criticism, rejection, hatred and harassment for three years, then be able to go to the cross and suffer through the torturous pain of crucifixion?

Jesus believed he was indeed the Son of God and that he came to give his life as a ransom for all of mankind. Can you identify the purpose God has given you as a believer? The sharper you are in identifying that purpose, the greater will be your ability to endure the hardships of this life and still celebrate with joy the life God has given you.  

Self-Respect: the Means for Self-Love - Part 1

Values determine your lifestyle and what you treasure. Parents work and save to give their family an inheritance they hope will be appreciated. In truth, the greatest treasures you pass on to your children are strong godly values – not an easy task because each person falls short of demonstrating perfection.

Children easily identify and even replicate their parents’ weaknesses and mistakes. However, as parents determine to clean up and change their lives, their children will observe and respect their efforts. Children long for parents to give them hope and assurance that change is possible. They want and need to emulate honorable and trustworthy values.  

          Be open and honest about your struggles. Along with honesty, it’s critically important to demonstrate endurance, the staying power that sees a task through to completion. Honesty’s ultimate goal hopes for closeness, love and respect, for this is the pathway to self-respect and a healthy self-love. It’s God’s way and that must be good.  

Integrity Guards Self-Respect - Part 3

Endurance tells us to stand firm when we feel like retreating.  Endurance encourages us to remain mentally and emotionally tough when we feel weak and tired. Endurance gives determination to be spiritually committed, for then we can be assured that God’s purpose will prevail. Faith and trust enable us to withstand every evil deterrent Satan hurls at us.

As endurance stands firm, self-respect and self-esteem become more entrenched. A reality some believers find unacceptable concerns suffering and having difficult days. So many question the reason God permits struggles and strife to invade their lives, forgetting that Christ Jesus gave up his life for them.

It’s not that we should look for suffering because suffering pursues everyone. The apostle Paul encourages us to endure suffering with patience, for when God gives us a reprieve, we are blessed with confidence. Endurance builds tolerance by knowing joy comes in the morning after a dark night of suffering. For that joy we offer heartfelt thanks to God.  

Integrity Guards Self-Respect - Part 2

Harper Lee in her novel To Kill a Mockingbird noted, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view, until you climb into their skin and walk around in it." In truth, understanding anyone requires having correct motives and being willing to respect and accept what is different or opposite of what we believe or think.

Self-respect is built on integrity. If true self-respect resides in a person, then the possibility of having respect from and for others will exist. Henry Amiel understood this when he said, "We only understand that which is already within us." Self-respect comes from knowing what is right and doing it. This brings honor to God, self and others.

An old Chinese proverb is instructive: "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." Self-respect and self-love are grounded in doing what is upright, good, and godly. Old habits are tenacious, but integrity and endurance must be sought after and practiced. God bless you as you commit to doing so. 

Integrity Guards Self-Respect - Part 1

Self-love and self-respect have nothing in common with self-righteousness. I can understand how these concepts get confusing for some people, even devout Christians. The Bible warns of thinking too highly of oneself because it makes us vulnerable to failure. The goal of self-righteousness is to deceive. It gives the impression we’re above the rules of society.

Thomas Adams said, "Self-righteousness is the devil's masterpiece. It persuades us to think too highly of ourselves." However, healthy self-esteem parallels self-respect and self-love, which are companions to the commandments to love God with your entire being and your neighbor as yourself.

Jesus modeled for us self-respect and self-love by consistently putting himself into the role of a servant even though his righteousness was on the same level as God the Father. Appropriate self-respect and self-love reach out to others and are the building blocks for establishing values for a happier, healthier, contented life.

Insight: God's Light for Values - Part 3

Self-respect and self-love are conjoined together to create a personal standard of conduct. Self-respect is crucial to integrity because it promotes honesty and truthfulness. Alfred Griswold, past president of Yale University, noted that "Self-respect comes to us when we realize that knowing the good, we do it; and knowing the truth, we speak it."

Self-respect develops as a person disallows guilt and shame from gaining a foothold. How are these enemies of self-respect held at bay? Immediately confess to God and others when there's been a failure to live up to your conscience and God’s word. Make things right where wrong exists. Reclaim whatever of your moral character you've given up.

A young man admitted to forsaking the values he'd obtained as a Christian to live with a beautiful young woman. Now bitter regret and sorrow occupy his day, for what he believed to be true was false. The good news is, self-respect can be reclaimed through repentance and by acceptance of God's forgiveness. God’s business is restoration and forgiveness.