Waiting to Compete

Humans were designed to compete and struggle to make their mark on the world. When we can't be a viable competitor, we choose heroes from all areas of life to compete for us. Sports figures become heroes, so we compete through them. Siblings often compete for recognition, acceptance and dominance.

The simultaneous marriages of Jacob to sisters Rachel and Leah created a situation that was a perfect setup for rivalry. Jacob loved Rachel, but Leah could have children while Rachel remained barren. It wasn't enough that Jacob loved Rachel. She felt unfulfilled as a woman compared to Leah, who gave Jacob four sons.

My aunt was unable to have children and half-jokingly asked my mother to give her my sister. My aunt was intelligent, attractive, had a loving husband and a career, but that was not enough. It takes faith and patience to wait, to endure, to persist. God’s desire is to give these attributes to you as you open your heart to receive him.

Persevere: God Will Deliver!

We can’t always know what drives a person to keep striving for solutions to problems when none appears possible. How do you acquire perseverance, the strength of character that doesn’t give up or give in to failure? Thomas Carlyle noted, "Perseverance is the hinge on which all virtues swing." A virtue is defined as a high standard of conduct and morality. 

 

          In researching the Biblical account of Jacob, Leah and Rachel, Leah is in the worst position. Her husband does not love her. She must compete with her sister Rachel for Jacob's attention. Still she persists in having his children, striving for Jacob’s love and acceptance.

          Leah didn’t choose her station in life. Someone else chose for her, but she refused to be ruled by it. Perhaps you know what it means not to be loved as you would like to be loved. Yet, you must stay where you are, for there is no other choice. Remember this: God does not close his eyes or forget the plans he has for you. So, persevere and wait. God will deliver on his plan for you.  

Find Possibilities in the Impossible

Life does not always deal us an easy or fair hand. There are situations where we must learn to cope and make the most of what we have. In God’s Word we’re given the story of Jacob, who married two sisters - not because he chose to do so, but because to have Rachel, the one he loved, Leah her older sister came as part of the package.

 

Jacob, Leah and Rachel had separate negative perceptions about this arrangement but were forced to adjust to what seemed like an impossible situation. For Jacob, it would be keeping peace between the sisters. To accomplish this task, he would be put continuously in the position of doing whatever it took to please them.

Leah and Rachel’s assignment included managing a situation where there was no legitimate or acceptable way to escape. Life is not fair, and God does not promise us a rose garden. To manage unfortunate hardships, it’s crucial to see them as God's purpose for us and view them as opportunities to change and grow. You can do that. 

A Desperate Dilemma

Leah's dilemma was not unlike what each of us must face somewhere along life’s journey. Leah was married to Jacob, who didn’t love her, and it seemed that no matter how she tried, his affection belonged to Rachel, the wife he loved. God was aware of her unhappiness, so he gave her children to nurture and love.

 

While your situation may not be identical to Leah's, your resulting sorrow and pain can be similar. The resounding message that rings loud and clear is that God sees, he hears, he knows your situation whatever it may be. He will send help when there is a commitment to stand firm, to do what is humanly possible to make things better.

Doing what is required, although difficult or even unpleasant, will ultimately bring its rewards. You may be struggling in such a desperate situation and it may seem too difficult to endure, but reconsider. Ask the Lord God to send help. Be flexible and willing to try a new approach. God listens. He hears, and he provides answers. 

Never Enough? Time to Refocus

God created humans with a unique desire to please those who are important to their well-being, like a husband or wife, because pleasing is a source of happiness. The struggle to please becomes stressful where hope is diminishing or doesn’t exist. When Leah’s first son was born, her hope was, "Surely my husband will love me now."

Leah's struggle for acceptance is also evident after her third son is born. Listen to her desperation. “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, even though he doesn’t love me, because I have given him three sons.” Her desire to please Jacob is sad because no matter how much she gives, he will not love her as he does Rachel.

 

In observing Jacob, Leah and Rachel, it’s apparent each is doing his or her best in a situation strained with tension and unhappiness. In the depths of unhappiness, Leah focused on the Lord God who gave her comfort and security. He will do the same for you when you seek him with all your heart, soul, strength and mind.  

Too Much Heat in the Kitchen

Jacob’s concurrent marriages to sisters Leah and Rachel would bring a directional change to his life. Can you imagine the potential for conflict that this arrangement would generate in a home? The sisters were subject to jealousy and envy that often got out of hand because of a fierce competition for Jacob’s love and acceptance. Leah knew she was not Jacob’s first choice.

There's an old cliche that emphatically states, "There's not enough room in the kitchen for two women.” Can you imagine the atmosphere of a household where there are two wives who are sisters, married to the same man? Remember, God was not the author of the deception that allowed this double marriage to take place.

 

The only one who gave consent to this double marriage was the father of the sisters. However, Leah’s unhappiness did not escape God’s attention, and she soon gave birth to a son. Leah acknowledged he was a gift from the Lord. Wherever you are, please know that God sees and cares what's happening to you, so bring all your problems to him. 

 

The Ultimate Fraud: Self-Deception

The Greek philosopher Plato observed, "The worst of all deceptions is self-deception."  What makes it so bad is the lack of integrity that promotes dishonesty and lies. Self-deception sabotages openness and sincerity by substituting false pride and arrogance with “I’m above playing by the rules,” and "If I'm caught, I’ll wiggle loose."

  

Self-deception begins by pushing for what’s beyond your grasp. You might want a new car or house or a big screen TV, but these would jeopardize your finances. Still you persist in telling yourself everything is cool. You’ll get a second job. The money will come in. What comes next is convincing others to agree with you.

  

Sarah desperately wanted to give Abraham a child, so she convinced her maidservant Hagar to conceive a child in her place. To implement her plan, she persuaded Abraham to commit adultery with Hagar. She erroneously believed God would bless her decision. God encourages us to wait, to reconsider, for His way is always best.