Miracle of Love Required

When Esau heard the news Jacob was coming home, can you imagine his response? For twenty years Esau had suppressed his anger and hatred of Jacob. In every relationship, we’re faced with either establishing a loving, caring fellowship that’s fulfilling and rewarding or nurturing anger and hatred that moves against a person or group.

          From Esau’s perspective, Jacob could be facing payday for his sinful betrayal of his brother. Normal sibling rivalry includes competition, but with restraints that keep aggression within acceptable limits. Academic grades and sports are examples of people moving against others in competition, but within those acceptable limits.   

          When hate and anger become the driving force that moves people against others, love that may have existed previously is pushed aside. For Esau to change his mind about his brother would take a miracle. But when God’s love substitutes for hatred in a person’s life, it becomes apparent a transformation has taken place. It can happen to you!

Not Succeeding When Competing

The purpose of jealousy is to hold on desperately to what might be lost. Jealousy fears being overshadowed by a competitor and seen as insignificant. Even the slightest hint of jealousy indicates that negative perceptions of oneself have begun to set off a reactive chain of behaviors that will prove unproductive.   

  

          A young woman told how her sister and brother-in-law bought the most expensive home in her neighborhood. While one part of her brain was sincerely glad such good fortune had come to her sister, another part was envious, jealous and angry. These feelings of jealousy resurrected a competitiveness that had originated in childhood.  

          It's critical that you find godly ways to express wholesome and sincere generosity toward the one of whom you feel jealous. You can be generous by expressing love and affection as well as acts of goodness which demonstrate nobleness of character. As you allow the Holy Spirit to work and use these gifts in you, jealousy will eventually diminish.

Waiting to Compete

Humans were designed to compete and struggle to make their mark on the world. When we can't be a viable competitor, we choose heroes from all areas of life to compete for us. Sports figures become heroes, so we compete through them. Siblings often compete for recognition, acceptance and dominance.

The simultaneous marriages of Jacob to sisters Rachel and Leah created a situation that was a perfect setup for rivalry. Jacob loved Rachel, but Leah could have children while Rachel remained barren. It wasn't enough that Jacob loved Rachel. She felt unfulfilled as a woman compared to Leah, who gave Jacob four sons.

My aunt was unable to have children and half-jokingly asked my mother to give her my sister. My aunt was intelligent, attractive, had a loving husband and a career, but that was not enough. It takes faith and patience to wait, to endure, to persist. God’s desire is to give these attributes to you as you open your heart to receive him.

Fostering Unity

The Genesis account of Jacob and Esau is a fascinating story. Their father Isaac pleaded with God to give his wife Rebekah a child, but she gave birth to twins. Before birth, they constantly struggled causing Rebekah cry out to God, “Why do you allow this constant torment? I can’t rest nor have peace. All this kicking, grabbing, pushing is beyond what I can tolerate.”

God’s assurance in Genesis 25:23 helped her endure until they were born: “The sons in your womb will become competitors, one being stronger than the other. The older shall be a servant of the younger.”  This meant the younger son would be more creative, quick-witted, but not physically stronger.

Parents want their children to be successful, balanced in their abilities to achieve. Sibling rivalry happens, so parents either escalate strife or defuse it by refusing to play favorites. Focus on God’s love, design and purpose for each child. Love each one equally to build a bridge to unity and peace. 

Choosing Compassion and Forgiveness - Part 1

Standing up for what you believe can be a test of your faith. The older brother in the story of the prodigal son stood up for what he believed to be an unjust, unfair situation. He saw his father as having coddled his younger brother, who had been totally irresponsible to the point of disgracing the family.

This parable demonstrates how concern for others can be completely absent. The older brother lacked sympathy for his younger sibling, who through bad choices had squandered his inheritance. The older son could not muster any sympathy for his father, who loved the younger son regardless of the pain he had brought to the family.

Sympathy is expressed sorrow, felt for someone who is hurting. Empathy goes beyond sympathy. Empathy feels as others feel, thinks as they think, and accepts them as they are. With God's help, you can rise above your troubles and reach out with compassion to others who have made bad choices that affected you personally. Empathy reflects God's transforming grace.  

False Assumptions vs. Reality - Part 1

The parable of the prodigal son from Luke 15 parallels our lives in interesting ways. It's about a young man who could not compete with his older brother's privileges and power. He assumed that if he left home he could be successful in his own right. The father permitted this young man to follow his dreams. The story is about distinguishing false assumptions from reality.

False assumptions blind a person's ability to correctly perceive reality. Imagine the fantasies this young man possessed. He would separate from his family and find his own way in the world. He evidently assumed that life is a party and his inheritance would sustain him indefinitely.

One other assumption this young man surely held was that his friends would have his back when he needed them. Waking up to the truth takes time, but then choices based on reality can be set in place. Truth based on reality believes that God is at work to save you from yourself. The Lord Jesus Christ will help you sort out false assumptions and give you faith to change.