Why Is It So Difficult to Love Others?

Each person eventually comes up against the cutting edge of adversity. I recently read these provoking words: “The problems of living are always centered on reconciling opposites.” Problems surface as a result of personality clashes or differences in experiences, values, or opinions.

Reinhold Niebuhr presents this truth: “The real problem…lies in the fact that we ought to love one another, but we do not.” Loving one another demands that we look deep into ourselves and to the Lord God to find solutions to problems each person can appreciate and accept.

Problems unaddressed are like a splinter broken off under the skin. The constant throbbing torments the body, mind, and spirit. Perhaps it’s time to ask the Lord Jesus Christ, “What do I need to address within myself that prevents me from loving others?” Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, ‘Love one another as much as I have loved you.’” Being closer to God requires submitting to Jesus’ command. 

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But it really is a new commandment, and you know its true meaning, just as Christ does. You can see the darkness fading away and the true light already shining. If we claim to be  in the light and hate someone, we are still in the dark. But if we love others, we are in the light, and we don’t cause problems for them.

~1 John 2:8-10 Contemporary English Version

 

The righteous call to the Lord, and he listens; he rescues them, from all their troubles. 

~Psalm 34:17 Good News Bible

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Forgiven > Transformed > Forgiving

When forgiveness is perceived as a concrete reality, it paves the way for transformation to take place in one's feelings and behavior. As the Holy Spirit convicts a person of sin, it produces repentance. God forgives our sins and remembers them no more because we are precious in his sight.

 

Forgiveness creates a less stressful environment. When the truth of God’s love is grasped, it makes way for a receptiveness that anchors a transforming change in the way we think and feel about God, ourselves and others. The value of that transformation is that we belong to God and our salvation is secured. 

Listen to the words of God from Isaiah 43: “Fear not for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name and you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you walk through the fire, the flames will not set you ablaze, for I am the Lord your God and Savior.” When we forgive someone from the depths of our being, it has the power to transform a life or a broken relationship. 

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God rescued us from the dark power of Satan and brought us into the kingdom of his dear Son, who forgives our sins and sets us free.

~Colossians 1:13-14 Contemporary English Version

It is God himself who has made us what we are and given us new lives from Christ Jesus, and long ages ago he planned that we should spend these lives in helping others.

~Ephesians 2:10 The Living Bible

“I’m giving you a new order: Love one another! Love one another as I have loved you.”

~John 13:34 Beck – New Testament in the Language of Today

Choosing to Do What's Good and Right

The struggle between Jacob and Esau began early. Rebekah, their mother, complained to God about their rambunctious activity in her womb. After their birth Esau had the upper hand because he was the firstborn and physically stronger. Today he would enjoy being an all-around athlete. Jacob would be considered the studious, nerdy type.

Later Jacob would scheme to steal Esau’s birthright as firstborn. Jacob longed and waited for the right moment to move into action. He did not consider what was morally right or God’s plan and timing. He wanted what he wanted as soon as he could get it. Esau was impetuous and traded his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of soup.

Jacob believed by taking possession of Esau’s birthright, he would be set for life, a person of significance with power and prestige. He could never imagine the pain and suffering the future held in store for him. In truth, there is no substitute for being loved, and yet our blessings come from loving others as God loves us. 

Fostering Unity

The Genesis account of Jacob and Esau is a fascinating story. Their father Isaac pleaded with God to give his wife Rebekah a child, but she gave birth to twins. Before birth, they constantly struggled causing Rebekah cry out to God, “Why do you allow this constant torment? I can’t rest nor have peace. All this kicking, grabbing, pushing is beyond what I can tolerate.”

God’s assurance in Genesis 25:23 helped her endure until they were born: “The sons in your womb will become competitors, one being stronger than the other. The older shall be a servant of the younger.”  This meant the younger son would be more creative, quick-witted, but not physically stronger.

Parents want their children to be successful, balanced in their abilities to achieve. Sibling rivalry happens, so parents either escalate strife or defuse it by refusing to play favorites. Focus on God’s love, design and purpose for each child. Love each one equally to build a bridge to unity and peace. 

Surrendering to the Savior

CONTROL is an issue every individual and family is forced to address. Control is sought directly, indirectly, passively or aggressively, and could involve a combination of any of these. This very day gang wars are fought to control a turf in our cities. Most control disputes are settled either by surrender and defeat or through negotiations.

The struggle for control in families can literally be a bridge to destruction. Control by harsh, demanding threats or physical abuse is usually a shallow victory that only reflects momentary compliance. Respect, honor and legitimate submissiveness are lost because the controller is no longer seen as trustworthy.

Control and healthy boundaries are a necessity in every social situation because of the need to establish order. However, honor and respect for others is the bridge for diminishing unnecessary control. God’s Word tells you to love one another, to be kind and gentle for this builds a bridge to healthy order in any relationship.