A Green-Eyed Monster Called Jealousy

Jealousy is a common emotion experienced by everyone at some level. It's an emotion few people would endorse or boast about. Those who experience it often feel shame especially when it gets out of hand.  If a relationship is believed to be in danger, exaggerated jealousy may surface with rage and a fiery vengeance.

          Rachel felt jealous when her sister Leah could have children for Jacob while she remained barren.  Fostered by a lack of trust that she would ever conceive, Rachel persuaded Jacob to have children with her maid- servant.  Sound familiar?  Now jealousy has become the equalizer in a situation rather than trust in God’s plan and purpose. 

          As jealousy gains a foothold, it leaves little room for faith and trust. Jealousy is obsessed with thinking and feeling just one way.  To escape, force yourself to focus on Romans 12:2.  God’s word instructs you to be transformed by renewing your mind by the power of Christ Jesus in you.  Ask Jesus to transform you now.

Beware of Emotional Traps

Rachel was unable to have children and became consumed with doubts about herself and frustrated with Jacob for being unable to make her pregnant. To add to her frustrations, she had fallen into an emotional trap of comparing herself with her sister Leah, who had given birth to four baby boys.

The reason comparisons are a trap is that the results are most always negative and one-sided. However, Rachel was unable to comprehend Leah’s personal unhappiness caused by not being loved by her husband. While children bring joy, they never substitute for the love of a husband or wife.

Both Rachel's and Leah’s unhappiness paralleled each other's, and these negative comparisons made it impossible for them to comfort one another. Rachel’s jealousy of Leah also made it impossible for her to find joy in nurturing Leah’s four little boys, who were her nephews. The troubled heart must be turned over to Christ Jesus, the Great Physician, for hope and healing can be found in him. This is my prayer for you.

The Best Balancing Act

When Leah gave birth to four sons for Jacob, her sister Rachel went into a panic because she herself was unable to conceive. One sure way a woman could please her husband was to give birth to sons, which insured security and feelings of fulfillment. Rachel’s desperation is expressed in Genesis 30. "When she could not conceive, she became jealous and said to Jacob, ‘Give me children or I will die.’"

Have you had similar feelings longing for something so special and fulfilling that nothing else could surpass its value? Rachel's passion for a child consumed her. She couldn't let it go. Giving birth to a baby was essential to her identity and sense of mental health. She desperately needed to feel equal to her sister.

T. S. Eliot believed that nothing was more important than thinking appropriately well of oneself. However, the apostle Paul admonishes us not to think higher of ourselves than we should. What helps you from going overboard is balancing what Christ has done for you and what you’ve committed to him.

Yes, But – I Want It Now!

Getting what you want is a privilege most responsible people enjoy. God's timing, however, may be different from your immediate timetable. This can be frustrating to the point of your making the mistake of plunging ahead determined to make things happen, but then suffering the consequences of impatience. To persevere includes exerting self-control and waiting for God’s timing.

 

Rachel appears to be a vibrant young woman capable of hard work and dependability. Jacob first met her at a well where she came to water her flock of sheep and goats. In addition to being energetic and assertive, she was attractive. Rachel exhibited a toughness of character that demonstrated she could handle responsibility.

 

Rachel also displayed self-control by waiting seven years for Jacob, the man she loved. Tough personalities can have weaknesses that make them vulnerable to hurt and pain. It's at this place where perseverance is required, where you realize God’s grace is adequate to cover your weaknesses. Then you can gratefully say, “Thank you, Lord Jesus.”

Waiting to Compete

Humans were designed to compete and struggle to make their mark on the world. When we can't be a viable competitor, we choose heroes from all areas of life to compete for us. Sports figures become heroes, so we compete through them. Siblings often compete for recognition, acceptance and dominance.

The simultaneous marriages of Jacob to sisters Rachel and Leah created a situation that was a perfect setup for rivalry. Jacob loved Rachel, but Leah could have children while Rachel remained barren. It wasn't enough that Jacob loved Rachel. She felt unfulfilled as a woman compared to Leah, who gave Jacob four sons.

My aunt was unable to have children and half-jokingly asked my mother to give her my sister. My aunt was intelligent, attractive, had a loving husband and a career, but that was not enough. It takes faith and patience to wait, to endure, to persist. God’s desire is to give these attributes to you as you open your heart to receive him.

Persevere: God Will Deliver!

We can’t always know what drives a person to keep striving for solutions to problems when none appears possible. How do you acquire perseverance, the strength of character that doesn’t give up or give in to failure? Thomas Carlyle noted, "Perseverance is the hinge on which all virtues swing." A virtue is defined as a high standard of conduct and morality. 

 

          In researching the Biblical account of Jacob, Leah and Rachel, Leah is in the worst position. Her husband does not love her. She must compete with her sister Rachel for Jacob's attention. Still she persists in having his children, striving for Jacob’s love and acceptance.

          Leah didn’t choose her station in life. Someone else chose for her, but she refused to be ruled by it. Perhaps you know what it means not to be loved as you would like to be loved. Yet, you must stay where you are, for there is no other choice. Remember this: God does not close his eyes or forget the plans he has for you. So, persevere and wait. God will deliver on his plan for you.  

Find Possibilities in the Impossible

Life does not always deal us an easy or fair hand. There are situations where we must learn to cope and make the most of what we have. In God’s Word we’re given the story of Jacob, who married two sisters - not because he chose to do so, but because to have Rachel, the one he loved, Leah her older sister came as part of the package.

 

Jacob, Leah and Rachel had separate negative perceptions about this arrangement but were forced to adjust to what seemed like an impossible situation. For Jacob, it would be keeping peace between the sisters. To accomplish this task, he would be put continuously in the position of doing whatever it took to please them.

Leah and Rachel’s assignment included managing a situation where there was no legitimate or acceptable way to escape. Life is not fair, and God does not promise us a rose garden. To manage unfortunate hardships, it’s crucial to see them as God's purpose for us and view them as opportunities to change and grow. You can do that. 

A Desperate Dilemma

Leah's dilemma was not unlike what each of us must face somewhere along life’s journey. Leah was married to Jacob, who didn’t love her, and it seemed that no matter how she tried, his affection belonged to Rachel, the wife he loved. God was aware of her unhappiness, so he gave her children to nurture and love.

 

While your situation may not be identical to Leah's, your resulting sorrow and pain can be similar. The resounding message that rings loud and clear is that God sees, he hears, he knows your situation whatever it may be. He will send help when there is a commitment to stand firm, to do what is humanly possible to make things better.

Doing what is required, although difficult or even unpleasant, will ultimately bring its rewards. You may be struggling in such a desperate situation and it may seem too difficult to endure, but reconsider. Ask the Lord God to send help. Be flexible and willing to try a new approach. God listens. He hears, and he provides answers. 

Never Enough? Time to Refocus

God created humans with a unique desire to please those who are important to their well-being, like a husband or wife, because pleasing is a source of happiness. The struggle to please becomes stressful where hope is diminishing or doesn’t exist. When Leah’s first son was born, her hope was, "Surely my husband will love me now."

Leah's struggle for acceptance is also evident after her third son is born. Listen to her desperation. “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, even though he doesn’t love me, because I have given him three sons.” Her desire to please Jacob is sad because no matter how much she gives, he will not love her as he does Rachel.

 

In observing Jacob, Leah and Rachel, it’s apparent each is doing his or her best in a situation strained with tension and unhappiness. In the depths of unhappiness, Leah focused on the Lord God who gave her comfort and security. He will do the same for you when you seek him with all your heart, soul, strength and mind.