Is It Possible to Make Compassion a Core Value?

In our society, compassion is difficult to practice. On the other hand, frustration, anger, and resentment seem to conform easily to stress that’s ever present as we rush to complete our things-to-do and places-to-be. Resentment derives from perceiving ourselves as caught in a trap, pursuing whatever makes us happy.

Children can be so caught up in after-school and weekend activities that time to rest and play are canceled out. I’m not thinking specifically about sports but about whatever is loaded with competition to win. Perhaps this isn’t your situation, but guard against relegating compassion to the bottom of your list.

To regain compassion, begin with making it your core value. Compassion is a virtue, a treasure to seek and to give each day. 

Listen to Colossians 3:12: “Clothe yourselves with compassion, humility, kindness, gentleness, and patience.” Do this as carefully as you would clothe yourself for a special occasion.  

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And God? Compassionate! Forgave the sin! Didn’t destroy! Over and over he reined in his anger, restrained his considerable wrath.  

~Psalm 78:38 The Message

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Is Compassion a Match for Resentment?

Resentment has little or no capacity for compassion because its main objective is to punish and inflict suffering. Resentment and anger are difficult subjects to discuss openly because they imply weakness rather than the shrewd strength a person desires to demonstrate.

Anger and resentment lead to experiences that are difficult to justify. The danger of hoarding resentment is that it tends to harden the heart against the truth. Frustration turns into resentment as personal power erodes. Resentment blocks sympathy and compassion for whomever is the object of its forceful power.

A mother described how she was convinced her daughter made a mistake in her choice of a young man to marry. Her dislike grew into resentment that soured her relationship with her daughter. With God’s help she began to earnestly pray for her son-in-law, which eventually enabled her to replace the resentment with compassion, a sure cure for resentment. 

           

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To conclude: You must all have the same attitude and the same feelings; love one another, and be kind and humble with one another.

~1 Peter 3:8 Good News Bible

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How Do Weeds of Resentment Ruin Lives?

At the depth of resentment lie feelings of powerlessness created by feeling rejected by others. Instead of initiating communication to address the hurt and anger, these powerful feelings can be repressed where they give birth to resentment. Surface anger may be acted out to imitate authority and control.

Resentment has the capacity to distort facts, the truth, and reality. When memories associated with resentment are continuously replayed, distorting the facts of what actually happened becomes a probability.

God’s word does not say expressing anger is bad at the proper time, to the appropriate degree, or with the right person. His word from Hebrews 12:14 is encouraging. “Let it be your ambition to live in peace with everyone in order for you to attain holiness, without which you will not be able to see the Lord God.” So continue looking after one another in order that no one fails to gain God’s special blessings.

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Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.

~Hebrews 12:15 The Message 

See to it that no one falls short of God’s grace, that no root of resentment springs up and causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.

~Hebrews 12:15 Amplified Bible

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Is It Anger or Resentment?

It’s often difficult to distinguish anger from resentment. There are, however, distinguishing factors present in anger that separate it from resentment. Anger can be aroused instantly while resentment tends to evolve over a period of time. Resentment builds physical and emotional boundaries to restrict a person or group.

All humans will display some form of power, either aggressively or passive aggressively. God intended for everyone to possess power that’s appropriate to age and circumstances. Resentment is defined by lack of love and compassion, often coupled with the need for revenge.

If you’ve lost trust and respect for someone, ask God to help you regain that in ways that honor him. Listen to Leviticus 19:18. “Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love others as you love yourself.” Resentment diminishes when you ask God to bless others as you want God to bless you. 

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As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.”

~1 Peter 1:14-16 The Message

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What Are Effective Solutions to Anger?

Chronic anger and resentment give birth to cynicism, which reflects a negative appraisal of situations, people, and life in general. Cynicism produces the pessimistic view that people are not good and their objective is to inflict suffering on others. Cynicism erects walls that foster separation and alienation.

The longer cynicism is nurtured, the more intense it becomes and then evolves into lack of trust for those to whom it is directed. People whose relationships fail may develop a pessimistic attitude toward all relationships and prefer to be alone.

However, the core attribute of a believer’s faith is trust that God is at work to bring about his perfect will for you. 

So be quick to listen but slow to speak because anger does not achieve God’s righteous purpose for you. As you accept this truth, your trust in Christ Jesus produces certainty that with the Lord God, all things are possible.                      

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Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and] slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us].

~James 1:19-20 Amplified Bible

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What Negates Promises to Control Anger?

Resentment emanates from unresolved anger attached to emotional pain that refuses to be healed. Resentment may never be articulated but be retained silently and indefinitely. That’s why it takes the powerful touch of the Lord Jesus Christ to be healed spiritually and emotionally.

After an episode of expressed chronic anger, a person may promise never to let it happen again because the after-effect is pain and suffering for all involved. By acknowledging that accumulated anger transforms into resentment and contaminates your well-being, it is necessary to surrender your resentment to God’s forgiving power.

As you give yourself completely to Christ Jesus, he frees you from resentment’s power. By God’s grace you are in a position to forgive others, and as you keep your mind fixed on the presence of Christ in you, evil loses it power over you.

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Do what the Lord wants, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Let the Lord lead you and trust him to help.  

~Psalm 37:4-5 Contemporary English Version

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What Is the Reward for Turning from a Resentful Attitude?

No emotional cutting edge is sharper than resentment, for it becomes a consuming passion. This truth was acted out by Saul, the king of Israel, as he permitted jealousy to be transformed into resentment. Saul knew God’s prophet Samuel had anointed David to be the next king and that David was also the people’s choice.

Saul could have accepted God’s choice of David to succeed him, for God’s choice is always superior to our own. Jealousy and fear overcame Saul, which prevented him from trusting David as a loyal servant and loving him as God’s choice. Saul preferred resentment rather than trusting God’s choice.

Saul could have chosen to mentor David in statesmanship, but he let resentment cancel that out. Resentment works against believing that God is the source of forgiveness. Remember, peace is God’s reward for letting go of a resentful attitude. God will give you courage and faith to emotionally turn resentment over to him. 

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Dear brothers [and sisters], if a Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help him back onto the right path, remembering that next time it might be one of you who is in the wrong.

~Galatians 6:1 The Living Bible

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Is It Possible to Consciously Dissolve Resentment?

Anger progresses toward resentment similar to a spark becoming a roaring fire, especially when deliberately nurtured and stoked. An offensive and humiliating comment may result in embarrassment, hurt, or anger, but what is there about us that permits an offense to upgrade into resentment?

For one thing, it takes loving communication, determination, and courage to resolve hurt and angry feelings. The majority of individuals are given opportunities to settle an offense but lack the courage to make things right. Feelings of inadequacy or fear permit anger and hurt to evolve into resentment. 

One strategy for banishing resentment from your heart and mind is to confess your anger and resentment to God and others. This must be done without blaming or passing judgment. Ask God for courage to end your resentment. Jesus said “Do not judge and you will not be judged. Forgive and you will be forgiven.”  This will work.       

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Patience of spirit is better than haughtiness of spirit (pride). Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, for anger dwells in the heart of fools.  

~Ecclesiastes 7: 8-9 Amplified Bible

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What Causes Resentment to Lose its Power?

There are wonderful passions that have driven men and women to pursue goals that benefit the world for generations. Thomas Edison’s passion to harness electricity has had an immeasurable impact on every area of human existence. Think what an inconvenience it would be without a cell phone, television, or a computer.

Passion is defined as an intense emotion similar to love, joy, hatred, anger, and resentment. Frederick Nietzsche, the German philosopher, observed, “Nothing on earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment.” When we choose to be angry, resentment is born.

Resentment is a negative attitude or reaction leveled against someone who deliberately hurt or wounded you. Resentment is anger inflated to the level of bitterness. God never intended for us to permit resentment to become so intrusive. Imagine how God feels about it. Now give it to him continuously, deliberately, until it loses its power. Begin to do it now.  

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Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.

~James 5:16 The Message

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What About Unresolved Anger?

Unresolved anger will not magically disappear but will be transformed into resentment. Anger stored away in memories where solutions are out of bounds clearly identifies resentment. Nurturing negative memories keeps hatred alive. Resentment is analogous to taking a tiger by the tail, realizing the consequence will be disastrous, but still being unable to let it go.

Resentment erodes self-esteem by destroying trust in the ones who should be valued and loved. Resentment kills friendship by destroying the capacity to trust and be honest. How does resentment get such a strong grip on us? Hurt feelings transformed into anger give birth to resentment.

What feeds resentment is the belief that you are being cut off from your desires and happiness. How can you let it go?  

Each time resentment surfaces, ask God to help you let it go. By asking God to give you the will to be forgiving, resentment loses its grip on you. This step opens the door to God’s blessings of security and safety.  

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A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes.  

~Proverbs 14:29  The Living Bible

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Is There Hope for Displaced Anger?

Anger is often referred to as a harmful emotion for it can produce words that cut to the bone and behavior capable of destruction and death. I’m reminded of the adage that asserts, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Anyone who believes these words is either in denial or out of touch with reality.

Words spoken in anger can inflict pain and suffering, while destroying trust and the desire to be close and affectionate. Whether anger is spoken in harsh, cutting words or acted out physically, the most appropriate feeling should be guilt for using this emotion as a destructive weapon.

Misguided anger may be directed toward God if he’s perceived as holding the rod of punishment. God’s mercy allows for flawed beliefs as he waits for his people to mature and seek forgiveness, which he grants without hesitation. The best antidote for anger’s poison is God’s unfailing love and his wisdom.  

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Dear friends, let us practicing loving each other, for love come from God and those who are loving and kind show that they are the children of God, and that they are getting to know him better.   

~1 John 4:7 The Living Bible

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New Year Hopes: What Changes Are a Necessity for You?

We human beings need periodic change, whether or not we actually want it. We resist moving away from what is familiar because the threat of change creates anxiety or even fear. We will stay with what is familiar even when we are absolutely sure God would help us to change.

Overthinking what needs to be done is a means of putting off what should have been attended to much earlier. The beginning of a new year can be a new beginning for attending to your spiritual needs that have long since grown cold. 

Clear your mind and heart to make a place for God. Hear these words from Isaiah. “Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Don’t tremble with fear, for I am your God. I will make you strong as I protect you with my arm and give you victory.” Anticipate the very presence of God as you visualize what can be accomplished with his help and provision. Happy New Year!                 

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Many plans are in a person’s heart, but the advice of the Lord will stand.

~Proverbs 19:21 New American Standard Bible

We wait in hope for the  Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.

~Psalm 33:20-22 New International Version

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New Year Hopes: How Do You Anticipate Your Near and Distant Future?

What situations do you anticipate you will encounter this new year that will be welcomed? Anticipation also foresees the probability of events that might be unfavorable. This coming year assures us it will be one comprised of political and social issues that will either agree or disagree with our beliefs.

We regularly evaluate our lives to assess what needs to change or be modified. As we evaluate and appraise situations and people, we must then decide what impact they will have on us. So as you approach this new year, what help do you need from God?

As you anticipate your near and extended future, are there particular promises you need God to fulfill for you? 

Matthew 6:32 provides assurance of God’s care. “Your Father in heaven knows what you need, so set your heart first on God’s kingdom and his goodness and whatever you need will be provided.” Happy New Year!

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The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”

~Psalm 32:8 New Living Translation

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New Year Hopes: Where Is Your Courage to Move Forward?

You are now experiencing 2024 and may or may not feel differently than you did yesterday about your future, but where have you placed your hopes? It’s worthy to assess if what we permit ourselves to depend on is actually in compliance with God’s plan for our future.

We as human beings need objectives that are achievable from a realistic  perspective where success is based upon past experience. However, there are new ideas and goals we might want to experiment with, even if a proven background is missing that would verify success.

It takes courage to move forward to test what is possible with the financial and physical boundaries that must be honored. Listen to God’s words of encouragement. “When you pass through deep water, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned, for I am the Lord your God who saves you.” Happy New Year!

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I will answer them before they even call to me, while they are still talking about their needs.

~Isaiah 65:24 New Living Translation

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