Curb Criticism with Creativity & Self-control

Effective communication requires more than spontaneously speaking your mind. Thinking through an issue and understanding what should be conveyed takes creativity. If an issue is sensitive and potentially conflictual, then planning what needs to be communicated is essential. The objective is to avoid a collapse in communications.

Everyone is capable of blaming and criticizing, but this form of interaction is destructive. It diminishes trust and respect. Realize that damage is inflicted on yourself as well as the other person by digressing to this level of relating. Conveying criticism and blame ultimately destroys the will to be emotionally connected. There is a better way to communicate.

It takes creativity and self-control to be kind and forgiving when all that's within, wants to criticize and blame. Creative thinking includes praying and petitioning God for insight that enables you to pursue what is helpful for the other person. Remember to “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  

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Trust in the Lord. Be kind and good to others; then you will live safely here in the land and prosper, feeding in safety. Be delighted with the Lord. Then he will give you all your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him to help you do it and he will.

~Psalm 37:3-5 The Living Bible

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Resolve Conflict with Communications

Definitions of communications abound from simply talking together to describing a complex system of digital sounds and symbols. Failure to communicate is often based on assuming the sender and receiver are ready for information to be transmitted either verbally or nonverbally, but this is frequently a false assumption. 

 A primary cause for attempts to communicate digressing into criticism and blame is the presence of anger, jealousy, and fear. These are responsible for breakdowns in communication, for it's almost impossible to receive blame or criticism without reacting in a way that causes conflict to escalate. There is a better way.

God's word gives us a method for talking together that’s anchored in respect and care for the other person. "Make plans to do what is right not only in the eyes of the Lord, but also in the eyes of men." This is possible by seeking wisdom and understanding that can be provided only by the Lord God. Make this your primary desire and objective.  

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Patient persistence pierces through indifference; gentle speech breaks down rigid defenses.

~Proverbs 25:15 The Message

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Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.