Effective communication requires more than spontaneously speaking your mind. Thinking through an issue and understanding what should be conveyed takes creativity. If an issue is sensitive and potentially conflictual, then planning what needs to be communicated is essential. The objective is to avoid a collapse in communications.
Everyone is capable of blaming and criticizing, but this form of interaction is destructive. It diminishes trust and respect. Realize that damage is inflicted on yourself as well as the other person by digressing to this level of relating. Conveying criticism and blame ultimately destroys the will to be emotionally connected. There is a better way to communicate.
It takes creativity and self-control to be kind and forgiving when all that's within, wants to criticize and blame. Creative thinking includes praying and petitioning God for insight that enables you to pursue what is helpful for the other person. Remember to “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Trust in the Lord. Be kind and good to others; then you
will live safely here in the land and prosper, feeding in safety. Be delighted
with the Lord. Then he will give you all your heart’s desires. Commit everything
you do to the Lord. Trust him to help you do it and he will.
~Psalm 37:3-5 The Living Bible
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