Harmony at Home and Work - Part 3

Even in the most secure relationships it's possible to get your feelings hurt. This happens as attempts are made to reveal your true self. Hope relies on being known and accepted for who you are. Hope helps us to be vulnerable enough so another person can share the real person beneath the surface. Without hope, the true self stays undisclosed and isolated.

Intimate couples do hurt each other's feelings, but hurt feelings can be worked out with communication and forgiveness. Communication is more than discussing an issue. It includes a willingness to understand each other's strengths and weaknesses and to be protective of each other's vulnerabilities. When hurt feelings are given over to forgiveness, intimacy is strengthened.

Intimacy includes a willingness to communicate true beliefs and attitudes. This lays the groundwork for trust and respect to find a foothold. God honors truth and openness. Listen to  Psalm 56:11. "Teach me, Lord, what you want me to do and I will obey you faithfully." God never fails to act when we ask with an undivided heart.  

Faith and Trust to Grow - Part 3

Children love to explore. Discovery and learning is a never-ending process that begins in infancy. Parents can interfere with the initiative to explore and learn by an overly-protective attitude or by harsh restrictions. Children must have boundaries and safe areas to explore, but as growth and learning take place, more freedom is needed to explore.

Change is anchored around the initiative to explore alternatives to whatever opportunities or problems life presents. Children have a natural, inborn faith to seek out that which is beyond their present knowledge and skills. Learning is the pathway to change. Jesus told the disciples to let the little children come and learn of him.

A child will eagerly take the initiative to come to God because of basic trust. Do you have an eagerness to explore and learn from Jesus? Listen to his invitation. "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Jesus is the firm foundation for building faith, hope and trust. 

Faith and Trust to Grow - Part 2

Children need to believe they are special in ways that make them feel unique, but not totally set apart from others. They need recognition and acceptance that confirm they're loved and appreciated. God created us for a significant purpose so our lives would not linger under a cloud of shame and doubt. Shame and doubt's message is that you're flawed and inadequate.

Dominant feelings of shame and doubt are like shackles and chains that bind us to mediocrity and non-productivity. The opposite of shame and doubt is faith. John Wesley's friend, Peter Buhler, told him to "Live by faith until you have faith." Someone else proclaimed, "Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see."

God has put faith in your heart and soul to give you confidence. So focus on that speck of faith rather than the mountain of shame and doubt. Permit yourself to want faith. Believe that God desires to give you faith enough to change. Be willing to fight the good fight of faith. These decisions produce positive change blessed by God. 

Faith and Trust to Grow - Part 1

Every parent can remember the transition their infant made from being helpless and dependent to being a toddler demanding independence and self-governing. Toddlers learn to express displeasure loudly with the word no, which is indicative of approaching self-reliance and making personal choices. This move toward independence is a God-given drive.

Making choices for becoming an autonomous, independent person can be observed throughout each stage of life. It's based on trust that begins in infancy. Reluctance by parents to let their toddler move normally toward independence hinders the development of self-confidence that encourages separation and learning responsibility.

God intended for each person to be confident and independent so we could go forward and discover our place in his world. St. Paul said, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." God created you to be a normal, unique individual capable of achieving the purpose he intended for you.  

Building Trust for Change - Part 3

It isn't uncommon to make decisions and then continue to live with those choices long after they've become outdated. Restructuring obsolete decisions requires basic trust in your ability to cope with change. When decisions are difficult, it helps to be convinced that change is a necessity and that God will be at work to make those changes possible.

What holds us back is mistrust. Mistrust creates anxiety and distress along with fear of not being in control of our lives. Proverbs 16:20 encourages us to trust in the Lord, and as we do, we are blessed. Listen to Proverbs 29:25. "Whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." Mistrust tends to doubt these words of encouragement.

Making changes where mistrust has a stronghold is possible. Believe that God will show you ways to build trust in graduated steps that strengthen your confidence and assurance. God is faithful and will never put on you more than you can tolerate. He sends help so you can change old, worn-out decisions with confidence.   

Building Trust for Change - Part 2

What mental images does the word trust bring to mind? For some, the word trust creates pictures of a mother lovingly nurturing her baby. For others, trust conveys a sense of safety and security. Is it easy to trust those with whom you come into contact each day? Basic trust begins in infancy and affects every choice throughout life.

In Job 13:15, we're given a model for trust even when we're pushed to the edge of life itself. "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. I will surely defend my ways to His face." Job trusted God when he had lost all hope of his life improving. Basic trust helps us survive hard times, when  cruel disappointments have cut to the bone.

Making choices in difficult times, whether major or minor, can be carried out with courage by anchoring your faith in Christ Jesus. Basic trust and faith believe that God is your resource even if everything seems out of control. Job knew in whom he believed; he trusted God's faithfulness. God offers this assurance to you.  

Building Trust for Change - Part 1

Throughout life, decisions are made based on freedom of choice. Yet some choices derive from our being forced or coerced into a decision because another person's course of action demands a response. For example, you may have been coerced into getting a divorce because your spouse sought to terminate the marriage.

Making choices resulting in positive change seems impossible when we are coerced by negative circumstances. Intensive self-examination that leads to self-blame may produce questions like "What did I do wrong?" or "Where did I fail?" In times like these we also may question God's love and care for us, but what other choices are available?

You can seek help for understanding your participation in creating conflict. You can choose to grow and mature during this time of turmoil. You can seek insight and guidance from the Lord Jesus Christ. Psalm 27 declares, "The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?" Chose to apply these words to your life today.