Allowing Intimacy: Getting Close - Part 1

During adolescence, an inner yearning begins to evolve to meet and be accepted by a special member of the opposite sex. Do you remember your first love as a teenager? I realize the majority of adolescent love affairs do not endure the trials and tests of those years. The reason for most failed marriages of adolescents is the absence of a solid identity.

Intimacy depends on honesty and truthfulness. It relies on having enough self-confidence to be transparent so a significant other can know you for the person you are - warts and all. Failure to be truthful is indicative of deception that ultimately isolates you by fostering loneliness and preventing the closeness God intended.

Making choices for positive change includes trusting God, others, and yourself enough to begin opening up to what's on the inside of you. Being honest opens the door for a new person in Christ Jesus to emerge. The pathway to change can spring from accepting who you really are because that person is who God sees and loves.  

The Confidence to Trust - Part 3

Avoiding anything uncomfortable is a natural human defense. So making choices to change doesn’t usually happen without a meaningful struggle. Fear of the unknown is one of the strongest motivators for neglect. We choose to avoid what would disrupt the life we so carefully and painstakingly arranged. So avoidance is active neglect.

Avoidance behavior protects a person from feeling anxious and worried when there is potential conflict. Suppose you’re losing touch with a friend because of a disagreement, so you neglect seeing that person to avoid conflict. The danger of neglect and avoidance is a potential, looming crisis and possible irreversible damage.

The hope for neglect and avoidance is to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, who promises to help. Listen to Matthew 7:7, “Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” While it's difficult to do, trust your spouse or friend with what’s troubling you. God will provide an opportunity if you trust him. 

The Confidence to Trust - Part 2

It is not uncommon for a person to feel disconnected from someone they love and care about. Losing touch emotionally or affectionately occurs when subtle changes take place over an extended period of time. A married couple may lose that special connection that brought them so much joy and mutual happiness in earlier days of marriage.

This can happen with a close friend or a child. Although it's hard to believe, it is possible to lose a sense of connection with one’s self by getting too strung out in a busy, stressful world. Neglect is most often the culprit.  Making choices to change is possible. Begin by asking God to provide insight into what gave neglect a foothold.

Moving past neglect may require some major lifestyle changes. The Apostle Paul reminds Timothy not to neglect the gifts that were given him. Relationships are a gift, not a possession. A major choice might include recommitting yourself to Christ Jesus and significant others. God will empower you to do what seems impossible. 

The Confidence to Trust - Part 1

Why is it so hard to make changes, even simple changes? Trying something new, venturing into the unknown can appear risky. Do you see yourself as a risk-taker, or do you generally stay with what is comfortable for you? Choices made growing up are often basic to feeling confidence and are linked to healthy risk-taking.

The sad part about some choices is that they become barriers to enjoying a more productive life. God didn’t intend for his people to be locked in a system that disallows growth and change. He designed us to have dreams about a good, productive future. There are risks in choosing to change, but remaining where you are can be a greater risk.

While David was far from perfect, his faith in God is seen in 2 Samuel 22. “The Lord is my rock, my protection and my Savior. He broadens the path beneath my feet, and I have never fallen.” Confidence for choosing to change begins with trust in Christ Jesus as your Savior. He empowers you to begin the journey for change.