Need to Control? Trust God

Individuals who are possessed with an inordinate need to control others do so from a position of weakness and fear. Soon after Bill and Kelly were married, choosing the church they would attend evolved into a major power struggle. Attempting to put the issue to rest, Bill told Kelly if she refused to attend his church, divorce would be her choice.

What Bill failed to understand is that submission can be given only where there is freedom to choose. Each time he imposed an ultimatum on Kelly, it left him feeling insecure and without peace. Defiance and sadness highlighted Kelly’s refusal to yield to Bill’s demands.

Both men and women may possess this need for dominance, but controlling others tends to alienate rather than create trust. Forced submission means imprisonment. An inordinate need to control is also a form of enslavement. Isaiah informs us that the Messiah would come to proclaim freedom for the captives. Jesus came to free you from the bondage of sin. 

_______________________

The book of Isaiah the prophet was handed to him [Jesus], and he opened it to the place where it says:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me; he has appointed me to preach Good News to the poor; he has sent me to heal the brokenhearted and to announce that captives shall be released and the blind shall see, that the downtrodden shall be freed from their oppressors, and that God is ready to give blessings to all who come to him.”

~Luke 4:17-19 The Living Bible

When Stress Creates Distress

Most babies are born into homes where conflict is minimal. While no home is completely exempt from conflict, some people are better equipped to manage it successfully. Sheer determination to find resolutions helps some people gain valuable skills and strategies for resolving conflicts. Others, however, permit conflict to evolve into serious power struggles that separate them from each other.

Total and complete compatibility is rare even between those who are 100% committed to their relationship. But sometimes the slightest degree of incompatibility over finances, sex, parenting, religion, in-laws or friends can cause friction that provokes quarrels and distress. The abuse of drugs and alcohol is another source of conflict.

The danger of leaving conflict unattended may distress what is outwardly a peaceful relationship. Distress can cause major arguments and battles to evolve into a means for relieving tension. Facing the truth of conflict and exposing it to God’s light and guidance is healthy, for then there is hope for a resolution.  

______________________

You’re a fountain of cascading light, and you open our eyes to light.

~Psalm 36:9 The Message

Now if you have known anything of Christ’s encouragement and of his reassuring love; if you have known something of the fellowship of his Spirit, and of compassion and deep sympathy, do make my joy complete – live together in harmony, live together in love, as though you had only one mind and one spirit between you.

~Philippians 2:1-2 Phillips – New Testament in Modern English

Face Conflict with Encouragement from God - Part 1

The Bible provides extensive examples of power struggles, conflicts and their solutions. Even heaven wasn’t exempt from power struggles. Isaiah 14:12 describes Lucifer, the shining star of all the angels, striving for power and control. A massive fight erupted in heaven, resulting in the expulsion of Lucifer and his followers from heaven.

Power and control, when appropriately allocated, don’t eradicate conflict but can keep it in check. Problems develop as we lust for and covet power. The tenth commandment is precise: “You shall not covet.” Coveting or lusting after anything is an inward compulsion to possess whatever from whomever, regardless of the cost.

          This commandment tends to produce conflict and power struggles because it’s extremely difficult to obey. However, Christians have an advocate who pleads our case before God the Father. Therefore, he forgives us as we confess and repent of this sin and then gives us a new beginning. Isn’t that good news?  I'm Olen Baker.

Choosing Persons or Power: It's Up to You - Part 1

The craving for power often is provoked by a personality that needs to dominate. The desire for power also can be driven by motives designed to bring about healthy change. Power is often entrusted to those who offer hope for that change. Jesus said in Matthew 28:18, "All power is given to me in heaven and on earth". He shares that power with those dedicated to completing the task he assigns them.

The desire for power can superimpose a hostile attitude or be expressed directly in a style revealing deceptive methods that are hurtful and offensive. This approach uses crafty and cunning means to gain control. What ultimately matters is how responsible a person is in the exercise of power.

Power should be complementary in relationships in ways that strengthen the union between people. Giving power to those who are trustworthy is a choice that illustrates how God intended his people to manage their lives. Living together in peace, respect, and love is God's way.  

Power Struggles: Choose to Step Back - Part 2

Power struggles seem to be a never-ending issue. Ingrained in human nature and empowered by self-centeredness and basic insecurity, the fire is fueled in the fight for dominance. There is, however, a healthy side to conflict, but it requires those involved to be willing to communicate openly and honestly so that practical resolutions can be discovered.

God gives us power to love, hate, repent, and forgive, but he holds us accountable for how we manage conflicts and disagreements. Benjamin Disraeli, a former prime minister of England, stated this truth: "All power is a trust, and we're accountable for its exercise." How power is exerted depends on maturity, feelings of security, and the capacity to love others.

We're created by God to be dependent in healthy, positive ways. Threats to that dependency create insecurity, which then encourages arguments. Choosing to change begins by entrusting yourself and others into God's care, which means to trust in the Lord for wisdom and to do as wisdom instructs. God then will give you the desires of your heart.