How Are Solutions for Anger Discovered?

When anger becomes intense, feelings of love and affection gradually diminish. The old cliché, “Love conquers all,” is true if anger is not used as a weapon to diminish another person’s self-image and integrity. Angry feelings signal emotional hurt and disappointment.

Continuously obsessing about anger rarely produces desired results but rather ratchets up anger to a higher level of intensity. Seldom is the trouble associated with anger resolved without teamwork and the help of the one to whom the anger is directed. When anger’s objective is to punish, it can destroy a relationship.

Solutions for anger are discovered by communication between the offender and the offended. It takes courage and God’s grace to approach either the offended or the offender. Ask God for self-control, courage, and the words to describe your hurt feelings. Refrain from condemning your offender by remaining in prayer until you have the grace and mercy to forgive.                   

__________ 

Happy are the kind and merciful, for they shall be shown mercy.

~Matthew 5:6 The Living Bible

___________

Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.

How Are Expectations Related to Anger?

Anger is an emotion that can be triggered instantly with little effort. There are numerous triggers for anger, including unmet expectations. Have you ever waited for someone, and after what seemed like an eternity, they finally showed up? They blamed traffic, but you suspected something else.

Feelings of neglect can be transformed quickly into anger, especially when a lame excuse for being late is interpreted as lack of care or respect. Even if anger is controlled and stifled, it can be impossible to keep it from being expressed passively, as in silent body language.

So what could be a possible solution to anger when someone does not live up to reasonable expectations? Psalm 78:38 describes God as restraining his anger to prevent its full expression. This model can help manage anger until a time and place become available to express it verbally in a calm, healthy way. God’s way is the best way. 

           

___________            

People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm.

~Proverbs 14:17 Good News Bible

___________ 

Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.

What Can Anger Teach Us About Ourselves?

That anger has a cutting edge to it is indisputable. For anger to pierce the heart and soul, it must be powered by fear, resentment, or hurt. The objective of anger is to diminish another’s character strengths.

By adopting this objective, we are made victims of the loneliness from alienation and guilt. If we suppress anger, we damage our character and soul. When we refuse to acknowledge the destructiveness of anger, we close the door on a vital part of our relationship with God and others.

God gave us anger to teach us how to give and receive forgiveness, which restores peace and fellowship to relationships. God’s anger caused by our sin is replaced by forgiveness and his unfailing love. Why not let this be the solution to the problems and troubles created by your anger? Then you will enjoy peace and freedom. 

                      

__________ 

Where is another God like you, who pardons the sins of the survivors among his people? You cannot stay angry with your people, for you love to be merciful. Once again you will have compassion on us. You will tread our sins beneath your feet; you will throw them into the depths of the ocean!

~Micah 7:18 The Living Bible 

__________

Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.

Should Anger Always Progress into Conflict?

What do you think was God’s intent for creating people with the capacity to feel and express anger? Just the sound of the word ‘anger’ has negative connotations related to its intensity and persistence, and in addition, much pain and suffering have been attributed to its existence.

An elderly man refused to visit a sister he had not seen in decades. The rift was created by hurtful remarks each had made after their father’s funeral, remarks regarding the distribution of the family estate. They had permitted their anger and hurt feelings to fester into bitterness.

God never meant for anger to be a springboard for bitterness and alienation, but rather to demonstrate love and forgiveness. Anger can helps us discover the character strengths to end conflict and turmoil. Psalm 85:1 reminds us of God’s way: “You forgave the sins of your people, so your blazing anger is now ended.” That is God’s purpose for you.                           

___________ 

But now you must get rid of all these things: anger, passion, and hateful feelings. No insults or obscene talk must ever come from your lips. … Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you.

~Colossians 3:8,13 Good News Bible

___________

Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.  

Does Difference of Opinion Equate to Conflict?

The cutting edge of anger is so sharp that it can damage trust and respect. The intent of anger is to take away power from those perceived as threatening. Fear, at some level, takes responsibility for creating and perpetuating anger. Fear creates a fight-or-flight reaction.

Two friends moved into an office to create a business they had talked about for years. How to furnish the office immediately became a point of contention. When anger and resentment became unresolvable, the friendship dissolved, with them each going their separate ways.

Differences of opinion do not have to be destructive when respect for each person is highly valued. Respect for one another can remain at the forefront of conflict by believing Jesus Christ lives in the heart and mind of each person with whom I disagree. Therefore I can be patient and kind, for God has not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and self-control. So live by that truth.  

                        

___________ 

Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

~Romans 12:9-10 The Message

___________

Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.

How Does Anger Build Emotional Walls?

That anger is an emotional wall-builder is hard to dispute. Anger is a defensive measure designed to protect oneself against what is interpreted as threatening, physically or emotionally. Everyone is vulnerable when a threat is detected, so emotional walls are built in an attempt to be safe and protected.

Emotional walls are distance-creators for those of us who do not trust intimacy. Some walls are so expertly designed, they keep God at a distance and successfully stave off any attempt by him to reach our heart and soul. Yet we yearn to be changed and molded into something useful by him.

Listen, as Carl Sandburg offers himself to God in his poem, Prayers of Steel. “Lay me on an anvil, O God. Beat and hammer me into a crowbar. Let me pry loose old walls.” God’s love is the crowbar that eradicates the walls of anger and fear. He replaces these old walls with trust and peace. Trust God to do this.  I’m Olen Baker. 

__________ 

For [Christ] himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility…

~Ephesians 2:14 New International Version

__________

Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week. 

Can Anger Be Resolved Effectively?

Anger can be triggered by misinterpreting information or misreading a person’s body language. At a party where friends and associates were celebrating a business event, a man overheard a conversation between his wife and the host, which he interpreted as an attack on his character. He later accused his wife of betrayal.

Days passed before they even spoke to each other again. Hurt feelings and fear of creating an angry scene kept them silent. Finally, she asked him what triggered his anger. After revealing what he had heard, she explained they had been venting about someone at work, whose negative attitude made the workplace uncomfortable.

Feelings of rejection can trigger anger. It’s impossible to always escape feeling rejected, but angry outbursts seldom generate solutions. When these feelings surface, ask God for patience to explore the validity of what was heard and interpreted. Seeking the truth, even when it hurts, is blessed by God, who provides ways to discover solutions and healing.                      

__________ 

It is better to be patient than to fight. It is better to control your temper than to take a city.

~Proverbs 16:32 New International Readers' Version

__________

Subscribe to the Attitudes Answers podcast on your favorite podcast platform to hear this and other 2-minute features 3 days every week.