Is It Possible to Overcome Immaturity?

Maturity is a continuous developmental process that extends throughout life. Each person may experience an impulse to act immaturely just to get one’s way, regardless of what’s appropriate. Immaturity can  prevent a person from achieving happiness or even the potential for success.

Immaturity is a stumbling block for good judgments. It determines if other-centeredness or self-centeredness will dominate a marriage or friendship. An immature person demands that others cater to their needs, while ignoring the other person’s needs.

To struggle against immaturity, ask God to give you strength to do what is right and appropriate. 

Asking God for insight and wisdom to make necessary changes in oneself is the source of power for getting it done. Listen to Philippians 4:19: “And my God shall supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” True worship follows making things right with others.  

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Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant then yourselves.

~Philippians 2:3 English Standard Version

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What Part Does Maturity Play in Relationships?

Compatibility is the essential link that makes another person acceptable. Lack of healthy emotional development identifies adults who have trouble sustaining relationships. Immaturity is often tied to failure to establish faithfulness to another person.

In established and stable relationships, loyalty and fidelity are the essentials of compatibility. Loyalty includes being faithful emotionally by placing the interest of a loved one above all others. This is what God’s word means when it compels couples to cleave to each other.

Compatibility is enhanced by maturity, which strengthens the bond of commitment essential to peace and security. 

Maturing as a Christian through Bible study and prayer prevents immaturity from dominating a relationship. Listen to 1 Peter 5:6: “Be humble in the presence of God’s mighty power and he will honor you with wisdom and understanding.” This is the essence of maturity.                             

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Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.

~Isaiah 41:10 Christian Standard Bible

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How Can You Discover the Potential for Compatibility?

Potentiality for compatibility is often recognized spontaneously. As a relationship blossoms and grows, compatibility and maturity become evident. Unfortunately, differences in beliefs and values may be hidden due to fear of rejection. This form of dishonesty blocks compatibility.

Maturity isn’t based on perfection but provides confidence for entrusting oneself into the care of an intimate other. As a couple moves toward stability, evidence for compatibility will be discovered, which builds a case for or against a closer relationship.

Maturity and compatibility include how much capacity there is for relaxation, humor, and fun. God meant for us to find humor in everyday life in order to experience joy, which enhances compatibility. 

Do you realize that joy is a gift from God? Love, joy, and peace are wonderful gifts of the Holy Spirit.                             

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He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, who abides in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust.”

~Psalm 91:1-2 Revised Standard Version

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How Does Emotional Maturity Affect a Relationship

Compatibility is a requirement for securing relationships. It provides the incentive for commitment to grow. Infatuation may draw a couple together, but compatibility binds their hearts together. Mutual love for each other builds faithfulness and loyalty.

A crucial factor determining compatibility is emotional maturity. 

Maturity does not always correspond to the chronological age. Some children possess maturity well beyond their age while some adults may never mature. Relationships fail when an imbalance exists between maturity and expectations.

Maturity is synonymous with being able to fulfill responsibilities, like meeting the emotional and physical needs of others. How is maturity obtained? Listen to James 1:4: “You must learn to endure hardships so that you will be completely mature, not lacking anything.” Sacrifice and suffering promote maturity, so do not give up.              

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And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, establish, and strengthen you.

~1 Peter 5:10 Revised Standard Version

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How Can Compatibility and Submission Co-exist?

The majority of couples who pledge their lives to each other believe they share similar plans and hope for the future. They also share a mutual need to protect their relationship against any endangerment. Mutuality and compatibility bind together to create safety and security.

Compatibility paves the way for the existence of mutual submission that is not offensive or threatening. The greater the degree of mutual trust and respect, the more extensive is the presence of compatibility, which may mean that less conflict will tend to dominate the relationship.

Nurturing compatibility must always be at the forefront of every committed relationship. Even if it appears that compatibility is nonexistent or has become smothered by huge differences, hope for rekindling the relationship is possible. Putting the Lord God first in your life and believing restoration is possible are necessities. Ask God for stamina to endure.    

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For you need endurance, so that after you have done God’s will you can receive what he has promised.

~Hebrews 10:36 International Standard Version

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What Does Compatibility Assume?

Instinctively, we human beings basically know if the potential for compatibility exists for a relationship. A young man created a business with a friend and assumed that compatibility in ambitions and objectives existed. Soon disputes over management of finances caused their friendship to collapse.

However a relationship is defined, success depends on having mutual values and agreeing on significant issues. Some relationships are so fragile that compatibility has to be carefully nurtured by elevating it above all areas of incompatibility.

Compatibility in marriage assumes that self-centeredness and self-reliance have given way to interdependence and mutuality, based on love and commitment to each other. Genesis 2:24 describes this as becoming one flesh in body, mind, and spirit. For compatibility to flourish and thrive, it must be nurtured and cherished.

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Therefore encourage and comfort one another and build up one another, just as you are doing.

~1 Thessalonians 5:11 Amplified Bible

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What Sabotages Fledgling Compatibility?

Although love is a powerful force, love alone cannot sustain a relationship through the trials life tends to dish out. When stress builds up, there is a tendency to regress into self-centeredness as a means of coping with what cannot be controlled.

When people are stressed by the cares of life, criticism and resentment become expressions of inner and outward conflict. This will sabotage a couple’s fledging compatibility that gets twisted and tangled into knots, making it seem impossible to re-establish common compatibility.

For compatibility to endure, it must be nurtured as you would care for a child. Faith and trust in Christ Jesus become the anchor that holds you tight during storms that must be navigated. Jesus promised to give you the gift of joy, so lay claim to that joy by asking Jesus to restore it in you.

Nurture the love God has given you for himself and each other. 

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Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other.  

~Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 New Revised Standard Version

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Can the Strength of Compatibility Be Measured?

Stories abound of couples who were so infatuated with each other they believed their soulmate had been found. If infatuation were an exact test for compatibility, then couples would not divorce. Infatuation cannot compensate for differences in values, ethnicity, religious beliefs, and maturity.

Perfect compatibility is not a requirement for a solid relationship. However, communication that leads to understanding and acceptance strengthens the existing unity. Without communication, incompatibility builds emotional walls that weaken even a strong bond.

The greater the areas of compatibility, the less incompatibility will thrive because trust and respect continue to tighten the ties that bind. Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they agree to do so?” 

Continuing to search for areas of agreement will build and strengthen communication and compatibility.  

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Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it, for love covers a multitude of sins.

~1 Peter 4:8 The Message/New Living Translation

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How Would You Personally Define Compatibility?

You may have seen TV commercials of couples testifying they have the perfect soulmate. 

However compatibility, at whatever level, must be consistently nurtured or else it loses its strength to stay fresh and fulfilling.

How could this possibly happen? Changes occur in the way individuals perceive each other. What was once an adored and loved personality trait may over time lose its luster and attractiveness. Focusing on what has become undesirable diminishes compatibility.

Can compatibility be restored? Relationships and people change in ways that make it possible for insight and wisdom to replace what has become objectionable. God’s love internalized makes forgiveness and restoration desirable. Jeremiah 31:33 is encouraging. “I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I will continue my faithfulness to you.” Live in that reality now.  

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But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

~Romans 5:8 New International Version

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How Strong Is Your Commitment?

The word compatibility implies unity, harmony, and oneness on issues that have long-term significance for a couple or any other relationship. While the potential for compatibility may initially be evident when two people meet, in most cases it evolves as a relationship grows and matures.

Although the potential for compatibility is present, love and trust, respect and loyalty cannot be assumed but will depend on honest, open communication. There must be a mutual attraction for each other, a special chemistry that communicates the potential for belonging together.

Commitment solidifies compatibility by pledging long-term security. 

Colossians 3:1 describes this commitment: “Since you have been raised to life with Christ, set your heart on things above, where Christ reigns in power.” Commitment includes your body, mind, and spirit, which assures your soul is eternally secure.               

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Keep in step with God’s love, as your wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to show how kind he is by giving you eternal life.

~Jude 21 Contemporary English Version

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What Are You Doing to Keep Your Unity Strong?

Incompatibility is the root of arguments, disagreements and conflict, whereas compatibility promotes integrity and strong attachments. It’s extremely difficult to be cordial to those with whom disagreements and arguments abound and have been created by conflicts that disrupt peace and unity.

The majority of humans desire peace as opposed to bantering and turmoil, which will sabotage a marriage or friendship. This does not mean that different opinions and ideas shouldn’t exist, for these communications can be healthy, provided strong compatibilities dominate the relationship.

Ephesians 4:3 offers this advice: “Make every effort to keep unity in God’s Spirit through the bond of peace.” This is done by focusing on areas of compatibility, although some areas of incompatibility may exist. Unity of faith centers on the agreement of one Lord, one faith, one baptism. These three define compatibility.

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Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.

~Philippians 2:3 New International Version

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Does Compatibility Matter?

There are websites today that offer assistance in finding a soulmate, one with whom compatibility is more or less assured. How is this done? There are compatibility tests and personality profiles which can be administered by a trained Christian pastor or counselor.

However these tests do not guarantee relationship success, for they cannot measure truth and honesty. The reason for relationships’ failure is that conflict takes dominance over compatibilities. Every relationship has incompatibilities, but if these become predominant, the relationship is in danger of failing.

It’s imperative to recapture the positive attributes of the one you have loved and cherished. Refuse to focus on issues of incompatibility, and instead, embrace areas where you are compatible. Listen, as Ephesians 2:4 advises you to “be completely humble and gentle, patiently bearing with one another in love and peace.” 

Commit yourself to God’s way.  

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[Jesus prayed,] “I have given them the glory that you gave me, [Father,] so that they may be one, just as we are one, I in union with them and you in union with me, so they may be perfectly united.”

~John 17: 22-23 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

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How Does Compatibility Bond Us Together?

While criticism and domestic violence will eventually destroy or severely diminish intimacy and closeness, tolerance coupled with compassion strengthens what potential there is for compatibility. What is compatibility, and what significant role does it play in marriage and friendships?

Compatibility is synonymous with harmony and unity. It implies similarities in goals, intelligence, values, faith in God, the Bible and the Lord Jesus Christ. Compatibility is the glue that bonds people together, regardless of life’s problems. Trust and respect are the relationship’s bonding agents.

A couple’s differences can complement and strengthen the relationship while compatibility ensures stability and builds feelings of security and safety. Psalm 133:1 affirms, “How good and pleasant for God’s people to live together in harmony.” 

Treasure every aspect of your existing compatibility and time together.  

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Do all you have to do without grumbling or arguing, so that you may be blameless and harmless, faultless children of God, living in a warped and diseased age, and shining like lights in a dark world.

~Philippians 2:14-15 Phillips – New Testament In Modern English

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Is It Possible to Squelch a Critical Attitude?

Criticism is an offensive move against another person. The intention is to reveal something negative or offensive about their character. In most cases this is a perceived assault, which provokes a defensive response. A wise person will accept correction and instructions for changing this behavior.

When you offer correction or instruction to others, be sure you speak with kindness. Listen to Proverbs 10:23: “It’s foolish to enjoy wrongdoing. Intelligent people take pleasure in wisdom. The righteous get what they want, but the wicked get what they fear most.”

Benjamin Disraeli observed, “It’s far easier to be critical than to be correct.” When the impulse to be critical arises, reflect on what drives that need in you. 

Ask God for insight and wisdom for managing yourself and the situation. It is God’s desire to correct you because he loves you. So do not resist or reject his correction.  

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We know God’s children do not make a practice of sinning, for God’s Son holds them securely, and the evil one cannot touch them.

~1 John 5:18 New Living Translation

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