What Sabotages Fledgling Compatibility?

Although love is a powerful force, love alone cannot sustain a relationship through the trials life tends to dish out. When stress builds up, there is a tendency to regress into self-centeredness as a means of coping with what cannot be controlled.

When people are stressed by the cares of life, criticism and resentment become expressions of inner and outward conflict. This will sabotage a couple’s fledging compatibility that gets twisted and tangled into knots, making it seem impossible to re-establish common compatibility.

For compatibility to endure, it must be nurtured as you would care for a child. Faith and trust in Christ Jesus become the anchor that holds you tight during storms that must be navigated. Jesus promised to give you the gift of joy, so lay claim to that joy by asking Jesus to restore it in you.

Nurture the love God has given you for himself and each other. 

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Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other.  

~Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 New Revised Standard Version

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How Strong Is Your Commitment?

The word compatibility implies unity, harmony, and oneness on issues that have long-term significance for a couple or any other relationship. While the potential for compatibility may initially be evident when two people meet, in most cases it evolves as a relationship grows and matures.

Although the potential for compatibility is present, love and trust, respect and loyalty cannot be assumed but will depend on honest, open communication. There must be a mutual attraction for each other, a special chemistry that communicates the potential for belonging together.

Commitment solidifies compatibility by pledging long-term security. 

Colossians 3:1 describes this commitment: “Since you have been raised to life with Christ, set your heart on things above, where Christ reigns in power.” Commitment includes your body, mind, and spirit, which assures your soul is eternally secure.               

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Keep in step with God’s love, as your wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to show how kind he is by giving you eternal life.

~Jude 21 Contemporary English Version

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How Does Compatibility Bond Us Together?

While criticism and domestic violence will eventually destroy or severely diminish intimacy and closeness, tolerance coupled with compassion strengthens what potential there is for compatibility. What is compatibility, and what significant role does it play in marriage and friendships?

Compatibility is synonymous with harmony and unity. It implies similarities in goals, intelligence, values, faith in God, the Bible and the Lord Jesus Christ. Compatibility is the glue that bonds people together, regardless of life’s problems. Trust and respect are the relationship’s bonding agents.

A couple’s differences can complement and strengthen the relationship while compatibility ensures stability and builds feelings of security and safety. Psalm 133:1 affirms, “How good and pleasant for God’s people to live together in harmony.” 

Treasure every aspect of your existing compatibility and time together.  

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Do all you have to do without grumbling or arguing, so that you may be blameless and harmless, faultless children of God, living in a warped and diseased age, and shining like lights in a dark world.

~Philippians 2:14-15 Phillips – New Testament In Modern English

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Stubborn Honesty or Stubborn Pride? - Part 1

Finding a companion for marriage that lasts a lifetime is an endeavor that begins in late adolescence because God created us for attachment, commitment, and compatibility. Without compatibility, a rift develops that keeps closeness and intimacy in the shadows while creating an atmosphere for continuous power struggles. Intimacy based on trust and acceptance is out of step with power struggles.

Pretending to accept what is incompatible with your values is dishonesty and a refusal to face the truth. Honesty has the courage to verbalize your real self to others. Don't pretend to go along with behaviors just to get others to accept you. Dishonesty will come back to haunt you in the form of power struggles and possible abandonment.

Choosing honesty by disclosing what you know to be your authentic self is what God intends. You can trust God's word for help from Psalm 18:32. "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." Believe me, God will make a way and a perfect time for you to express who you are. Honesty makes way for genuine intimacy and peace.