Treasure Hunting - Part 2

Glen and Mary built a life around his profession. While he worked, she did  everything to be supportive. She made sure the children looked good and performed well. She managed homework and school projects to ensure good grades to keep their father happy. Glen seldom made it home before the children's bedtime. Weekends meant relaxation to refuel himself for work. 

          This seems like an exaggerated account of family life and pushing self-absorption to the extreme, but this was the self-deception that pervaded both Mary and Glen's lives. Glen justified his life style: "I work long hours to ensure Mary and the children of a good life." "Someday we will have time to be together," was Mary's rationalization.

          Change involves examination of attitudes and values. Be honest about your commitments. Jesus said, "Where your treasure is, therein resides the desires of your heart." You pass on to your children your treasures regardless of their eternal value. It may be late, but you can change. Be sure God occupies first place in your life so you can pass that on.  

Choosing a New Perspective - Part 1

Being chosen to be the love of someone's life is a wonderful experience, provided the feelings are mutual. Staying in love for a lifetime is the intention of most couples. Hardships come, but usually there is a balance of joy and sorrows that most marriages can tolerate. Troubles provide opportunities to develop a deeper closeness and sustaining partnership.

Choosing isolation is not easily reversed, but with God's help and determination, change is possible. I observed a couple challenge a long-standing stalemate by being honest with each other. The alternative would have been a relationship of detached co-existence and never getting to know each other.

Choosing intimacy over isolation is choosing to live within God's design for communications that reveals your needs, your feelings and who you've become. God will empower you to live within his design as you commit to taking this step toward honesty. Jesus said, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." God can heal a relationship when we're honest with him and others.  

Stubborn Honesty or Stubborn Pride? - Part 1

Finding a companion for marriage that lasts a lifetime is an endeavor that begins in late adolescence because God created us for attachment, commitment, and compatibility. Without compatibility, a rift develops that keeps closeness and intimacy in the shadows while creating an atmosphere for continuous power struggles. Intimacy based on trust and acceptance is out of step with power struggles.

Pretending to accept what is incompatible with your values is dishonesty and a refusal to face the truth. Honesty has the courage to verbalize your real self to others. Don't pretend to go along with behaviors just to get others to accept you. Dishonesty will come back to haunt you in the form of power struggles and possible abandonment.

Choosing honesty by disclosing what you know to be your authentic self is what God intends. You can trust God's word for help from Psalm 18:32. "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." Believe me, God will make a way and a perfect time for you to express who you are. Honesty makes way for genuine intimacy and peace.