Is It Appropriate for Children to Grieve?

Every family is impacted by divorce, whether personally or by friends or the extended family. In our society divorce demonstrates what happens as a consequence of fractured and broken individuals. Children become emotionally wounded by parental choices.

The reasons for divorce are numerous, and those making this choice feel justified in their decision. The ones left in the wake of divorce may initially feel more devastated than the one deciding to separate. Every participant will go through the stages of grief.

Children can be neglected during the chaos of divorce, but children are as burdened by the disruption as are adults. A child’s grief isn’t unlike what adults experience although they may be too young to express it. Jesus will enable you to care for your children, so do not fail to recognize and comfort your children during their grief. 

God blesses those who grieve. He will comfort them.                            

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Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our…momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but on what is unseen is eternal.  

~2 Corinthians 4:16-18 New International Version

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What Happens When Forgiveness Isn't Permitted Expression?

Most parents teach their children to refrain from holding grudges against their siblings or friends, but letting go of hurt feelings is difficult. A grudge is similar to resentment and bitterness. Suppressing these feelings prevents reconciliation from taking place.

Reliving past injuries happens when acceptable solutions remain out of bounds. In truth, most individuals seek compensation from those who inflict physical or emotional harm by demanding their contrition, apologies, or that they make amends.

If a resolution seems impossible, then internalizing anger, disappointment, and sadness is inevitable. This leads periodically to reliving the past. God does not intend for his people to hold grudges, for they are the pathway to diminished happiness. 

Forgiving others makes it possible for God to create in you a clean heart. This is possible with God’s help and your permission. “Blessed are the peacemakers. God will call them his children.”                   

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But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

~Isaiah 53:5 New International Version

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What Lies at the Center of God's Promise to Heal You?

Healing from emotional wounds that were created in a fractured or broken relationship is possible, provided time and patience are permitted to be a part of the process. Pain, whether physical or emotional, is not easily tolerated so it’s natural to expect relief.

It’s impossible for children to get through childhood and adolescence without sustaining minor and serious physical injuries, although these heal and are mentally stored away. Likewise, emotional injuries and wounds ranging from serious to devastating are also experienced.

At the center of recovery is forgiveness, so all efforts to give and receive forgiveness must be honored and treasured along with a strong commitment to make significant life changes. 

God in Psalm 147:3 promises to heal the brokenhearted. In Jeremiah 30:17 God restates: “I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal.” Praise God for such good news!                        

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Let us, then, always offer praise to God as our sacrifice through Jesus Christ…Do not forget to do good and to help one another, because these are the sacrifices that please God.

~Hebrews 13:15-16 Good News Bible

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