A Bridge to Reconciliation

Concealment and withholding are effective tools for potentially controlling what happens in a relationship. Suppose your feelings were hurt in a conversation, but you were afraid to reveal your wound so you remained silent. This is a common conflict avoidance practice, especially if you’re fearful of appearing weak or ridiculous.

Concealment of hurt feelings builds a bridge to anger and sadness. Note that concealment of hurt or sad feelings often transforms into withholding affection and intimacy. Withholding is a defense device used to protect yourself from further exposure to hurt, plus a passive means of punishing another person for hurting your feelings.

Jesus gave you this encouragement: “If you have an issue with someone, go to that person and openly address the problem.” What makes this so hard is the risk of being hurt again, but to do so frees you of what you’re concealing and potentially builds a bridge to the future God has already prepared for you. Ask Christ Jesus for courage.   

From Fear to Faith

A grumpy, griping mood is a way to hold family, friends and foe at a distance. The reason for a bad mood may not be known to anyone, including the one displaying negative behaviors. The tendency to conceal negative thoughts may maintain privacy, but your true feelings can be communicated by your face, tone of voice and other kinds of body language.

Concealment is a consistently used method of controlling your situation, yet it’s difficult to completely hide what’s going on, regardless of what you may or may not verbalize. Alfred Lord Tennyson was aware of this when he wrote, “For words, like nature, have revealed, and half-concealed the soul within.”

Why not speak the truth with openness and honesty? Are you fearful of the consequences, or perhaps unprepared to risk the truth? God’s Word encourages us to speak the truth although we feel fearful. Honesty ultimately builds a bridge to stronger relationships, maybe not immediately, but as God’s purpose and will are accepted.