Speak with Confidence

Limitations in communications may be caused by incompatibility of moods with another person. Mood incompatibilities can cause conflict, misunderstanding, and avoidance of other people. Emotional barriers can range from feeling grumpy to strong feelings of anger, fear, and anxiety, making communications seem impossible.

Mood incompatibility can be responsible for misunderstandings that create negative attitudes toward one another. These attitudes may create responses similar to, "You're always in a bad mood. You're never happy and this rubs off on me." It’s possible however to respond with, “Is there something bothering you that I can help resolve?”

Trying to communicate can be risky but holding back what needs to be verbalized may result in a crisis. Trusting the Holy Spirit to give you courage to do what is right is an alternative to emotional distance. There are times when trusting others to provide insight is God’s answer for help and encouragement.  

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…Never worry about how to defend yourselves, or what to say, for at that very moment the Holy Spirit will teach you what you ought to say.

~Luke 12:11-12 Williams – New Testament in the Language of the People

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Facing the Giants of Life - Part 3

The strongest and most faithful Christian is vulnerable to sin and failure. Moses succumbed to disobedience and was held accountable by God, who instituted severe consequences. Moses’ disobedience demonstrated an unwillingness to be submissive to God and those he was responsible for leading during a difficult period of transition.

Getting fixated in negative thinking obstructs feelings of happiness and joy while possibly preventing a normal progression toward positive opportunities and success. All the Hebrew people twenty years of age and older who had come out of Egypt would be prohibited from possessing the promised land because they refused to be submissive to God's leadership.

Blaming others or God for our troubles demonstrates an unwillingness to make appropriate, healthy choices. Yet regardless of how daunting our troubles and challenges appear, God will deliver us safely to wherever he is directing us. He requires us to move forward in faith, believing in his promise to help us overcome every obstruction.  

Choosing Compassion and Forgiveness - Part 2

The parable of the prodigal son is interesting because it raises issues that  are familiar to everyone. It's impossible to perfectly chart a course for one's life without making a few wrong turns or occasionally stumbling into a stinking hog pen. Unwise choices and decisions often produce painful consequences.

The older son in this parable sees his father as excessively lenient on his younger brother, whom he identifies as a slacker. This older, responsible son is angry because his brother needs to face the consequences of his foolish behavior and choices rather than being coddled and indulged. Some have characterized the older brother as jealous and narcissistic in addition to being greedy.

It's possible to get so stuck in negative emotions that feelings of love and compassion are beyond reach, but this is a lonely road to travel. There is, however, deliverance and help for anyone who would respond to God's love. He unhesitatingly gave Jesus, his most prized possession, for our redemption. 

Overcoming Obstacles by Growth and Change - Part 3

How much of your day do you think is devoted to work? Statisticians say about forty percent. If this is true, how important is job satisfaction? Most often job satisfaction is directly related to obstacles that must be managed each day. An obstacle could be thought of as any barrier or drawback to satisfaction with one's work.

Disgruntled, unhappy employees create an atmosphere that affects everyone  within their range of their influence. This not only applies to the workplace, but to the family when negative attitudes are brought home. Jesus advised his disciples to guard against the yeast of the Pharisees. He was referring to their attitudes and teachings because it permeated the whole community.

St. Paul issued a similar warning. "Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough. Get rid of the old yeast of sin so that you can be  pure." Permit Christ Jesus to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Then it will be possible to better manage complications related to work and care more for your family and coworkers. 

Overcoming Obstacles by Growth and Change - Part 2

What do you believe is the most important part of yourself that you take to work each day? Is it your capacity to think, perhaps your integrity, that permits you to give of yourself beyond what's expected? If not, it's important to examine your attitude to determine what stands in the way. Obstacles could be persons who do not like you or negative attributes within yourself.

God has given you this unique capacity to think, to observe, to analyze, and  make decisions about what to do in any given situation. If you allow a negative attitude to develop about work, then you're vulnerable to becoming entrapped by these obstacles.

Keep in mind that obstacles can be seen as challenges for change and growth. Romans 12:21 lays out a strategy for dealing with obstacles, regardless of their origin. "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." The good you can do is determined by your ability to think and believe that God is at work to help you. Choosing what is good is God's way.  

Work Choices: Are You Satisfied? - Part 3

Some people hate their work and feel sick just thinking about it. Others find meaning and purpose doing any type of work. For them, wasting time is out of the question. However don't confuse relaxation with idleness, for leisure is required for healthy living. Ecclesiastes 10:18 reminds us that laziness produces trouble. "If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the roof leaks."

If you despise your work, trouble and hardship may show its face unless you adjust your attitude. You can choose to change by allowing yourself to develop a positive attitude toward your work. You can refuse to be negative by choosing to see your work as God's provision for you and your family. Ask yourself, "How can I be helpful to those I work with each day?"

Pay attention to your co-workers. Determine to be a role model of the love and compassion God has shown you through Christ Jesus. He endured the Cross to save you and give you a life worth living. Would you begin demonstrating this attitude and see what God will do with it? 

Work Choices: Are You Satisfied? - Part 1

So many people detest their work and yearn for an opportunity to make changes. Others shift the emphasis from work to leisure because work fails to  provide satisfaction. Some individuals in their mid-life years seek change by taking dangerous risks because of disappointment and burn-out with their work.

In Luke 12:16-21 Jesus conveys a story about a farmer who became wealthy, but because of a misguided attitude toward work and leisure, he failed to reap the harvest of his labor. Work and leisure fail to bring satisfaction and meaning when God is excluded from our choices. God's desire is to be included so we can feel blessed and enriched by him.

Permit yourself to see work as God's gift and as an avenue for expressing your love to Christ Jesus. He not only saves us from our sins and but saves us from negative attitudes that ruin our joy and happiness. Ecclesiastes 2:26 is instructive. "To the one who pleases God, he gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness." Seek to please God with all your heart.  

Developing a Positive Identity - Part 1

On one occasion Jesus asked his disciples, "Who do people say I am?" The people misunderstood who Jesus was, but Peter said, "You are the Christ." As early as age twelve, Jesus understood his life's purpose. He told his mother, "I must be about my father's business." Some people inadvertently develop a negative rather than a positive identity.

The developmental task of adolescence is to begin cultivating a productive sense of who you are and what you can be. A positive self- perception evolves over time, but seeds are planted early on. It's crucial that a positive sense of identity be developed, for those who have a negative sense of self rarely acquire the peace and joy God intended.

Making constructive choices by laying a foundation that affects your identity begins by realizing you are God's creation and loved by him. Romans 8:17 proclaims you were created to be a co-heir with Jesus. As you visualize, internalize, and accept this promise, you're in a position to make choices that will be blessed by God.  

Learning Productivity - Part 2

What holds a person back from becoming successful, loving, and giving? I'm sure there are many reasons this affliction grips the lives of some of God's people. Laziness and lack of motivation could be argued as probable causes. Feelings of inferiority and inadequacy keep gifts and talents hidden behind a curtain of fear.

As unbelievable as it may seem, change is possible by confronting the feelings that stifle achieving the productive life God intended. While it's true that we can't go back and do any part of our lives over, we can make choices to alter what gives power to negative perceptions and beliefs.

Begin by rejecting a belief that you're stuck and incapable of change. Believe that you were created by God for a special purpose that will honor him and bless others. See yourself as a child of God, redeemed by Christ Jesus and empowered by the Holy Spirit. Believe you're capable of being productive with what God has given you. Keep these truths in your heart and mind until they become real to you.  

Escaping the Negatives - Part 3

Our American economy depends on people choosing to buy new cars, houses and whatever you can imagine. Decisions to change jobs and move the family are part of the upward mobility movement our society provides, including the pursuit of happiness. Yet change can be scary and emotionally taxing.

God was not content to leave the people of Israel indefinitely in Egypt. In order for them to become the nation he envisioned, they had to be uprooted from their adopted culture. Although change would not come without some hardships, God promised to be available to ensure success for the changes he asked them to make.

Becoming complacent with a lifestyle of bondage or sin was out of compliance with what God had in mind for Israel and is for us today with our contemporary lifestyles. Listen to God's promise: "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and forgive their sins and heal their land." Would you accept that challenge? 

Escaping the Negatives - Part 2

Change creates stress, even change that is actively pursued. A friend knew she needed to change jobs after eleven years of employment. To her dismay, she began to feel stressful about making the change that would meet her current financial needs. She also felt grief and sadness over leaving friends with whom she had worked for over a decade.

Making good changes may create feelings of anxiety and even fear. However, this can be balanced by being thankful for opportunities to make a fresh start. The people of Israel left behind a secure life in Egypt, even though it was a life of enslavement and bondage. As they were on their way to what God promised, they longed for what they had left behind when the reality of what had to be endured could not be ignored.

As you choose to make necessary changes, the Lord Jesus Christ will be your strength and guide as you press on to claim what he has in store for you. God's desire is for you to be successful in becoming the person he created you to be so you can serve him with gladness. 

Escaping the Negatives - Part 1

Making choices for positive change ultimately includes a change of attitude. A negative attitude might include thinking of oneself as inferior, bad, and undeserving of what God provides. Jamie, an intelligent professional woman, could not escape the negative thought patterns that robbed her of the peace and joy God makes available to every believer.

A negative attitude can be pervasive and contagious. Changing a negative self-perception necessitates a careful examination of guilt and its causes. Real guilt occurs when personal and religious values are violated and disregarded. False guilt occurs when a person feels unable to please others, or takes responsibility for those who are unwilling or unable to make necessary changes for a better life.

Romans 8:1 declares, "There is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." 1 John 1:9 supports this truth by stating, "If we confess our sins, God faithfully forgives and cleanses us from all unrighteousness." The choice is to accept Christ Jesus and all he provides.