Changing with Confidence - Part 1

When past decisions are no longer adequate for current situations, alternatives have to be evaluated. For example, what was once good business policy for a growing company becomes obsolete because of outdated technologies. One reason for disintegration in relationships is unexpected or forced changes and the reluctance to accept them.

What may have been a good policy can be shaken to the bone by unforeseen circumstances. However fear motivates a person to refuse to consider options when change is imminent. Making choices to insure positive change is crucial to avoiding a crisis. Begin by assessing potential consequences if change is not accepted.

Jesus came into the world to change an old belief system. John 3:17 states His purpose: “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through him.” Making difficult changes can be done with confidence, for God empowers those who, in faith, seek to grow and mature. Ask him for guidance. 

The Confidence to Trust - Part 3

Avoiding anything uncomfortable is a natural human defense. So making choices to change doesn’t usually happen without a meaningful struggle. Fear of the unknown is one of the strongest motivators for neglect. We choose to avoid what would disrupt the life we so carefully and painstakingly arranged. So avoidance is active neglect.

Avoidance behavior protects a person from feeling anxious and worried when there is potential conflict. Suppose you’re losing touch with a friend because of a disagreement, so you neglect seeing that person to avoid conflict. The danger of neglect and avoidance is a potential, looming crisis and possible irreversible damage.

The hope for neglect and avoidance is to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, who promises to help. Listen to Matthew 7:7, “Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” While it's difficult to do, trust your spouse or friend with what’s troubling you. God will provide an opportunity if you trust him. 

The Confidence to Trust - Part 2

It is not uncommon for a person to feel disconnected from someone they love and care about. Losing touch emotionally or affectionately occurs when subtle changes take place over an extended period of time. A married couple may lose that special connection that brought them so much joy and mutual happiness in earlier days of marriage.

This can happen with a close friend or a child. Although it's hard to believe, it is possible to lose a sense of connection with one’s self by getting too strung out in a busy, stressful world. Neglect is most often the culprit.  Making choices to change is possible. Begin by asking God to provide insight into what gave neglect a foothold.

Moving past neglect may require some major lifestyle changes. The Apostle Paul reminds Timothy not to neglect the gifts that were given him. Relationships are a gift, not a possession. A major choice might include recommitting yourself to Christ Jesus and significant others. God will empower you to do what seems impossible. 

The Confidence to Trust - Part 1

Why is it so hard to make changes, even simple changes? Trying something new, venturing into the unknown can appear risky. Do you see yourself as a risk-taker, or do you generally stay with what is comfortable for you? Choices made growing up are often basic to feeling confidence and are linked to healthy risk-taking.

The sad part about some choices is that they become barriers to enjoying a more productive life. God didn’t intend for his people to be locked in a system that disallows growth and change. He designed us to have dreams about a good, productive future. There are risks in choosing to change, but remaining where you are can be a greater risk.

While David was far from perfect, his faith in God is seen in 2 Samuel 22. “The Lord is my rock, my protection and my Savior. He broadens the path beneath my feet, and I have never fallen.” Confidence for choosing to change begins with trust in Christ Jesus as your Savior. He empowers you to begin the journey for change. 

Examining Attitudes - Part 3

Do you know someone who has an unhealthy, critical disposition? A critical attitude often originates when someone or something is perceived as a threat. A parent may become so hyper-sensitive toward a child that he or she is under constant scrutiny and criticism. When this happens, the child become anxious and more given to making mistakes.

Changing a critical attitude begins by deciding to focus on what is helpful and positive rather than negative. A parent must deliberately search for things to praise about a child when a constant, critical attitude has gotten a foothold. Ask yourself, “What alternatives are there to a negative, critical attitude to a particular person or of the world?”

After his conversion, Paul changed his attitude toward Christians by seeing them no longer as a threat, but as God's people. Listen to Psalm 27:13. “I am confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart.” A healthy attitude eagerly accepts positive change. 

Examining Attitudes - Part 2

Do you define yourself by what you’ve done that's helpful and good or by failures and mistakes? Someone said we're a product of the choices we make. However the good news is, God never intended that we get stuck at one particular place and cease to grow and change. Maturing is a never-ending process, no matter how old you are.

Low self-esteem originates from defining yourself by your mistakes and failures. The challenge is to quit focusing on mistakes and failures and to permit yourself to center on how you can live for Christ, beginning today. By making this significant choice, you put yourself in a position to be submissive to God's blessings and plans for you.

Listen to this promise from 2 Corinthians 3:18: “We are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory which comes from the Lord.” Although it’s difficult to take this in, the Holy Spirit is at work to change you into the likeness of Christ Jesus. God will empower you to do his work as you partner with him to get it done. 

Examining Attitudes - Part 1

Making choices for positive change takes time and personal self-examination. To avoid acting impulsively, significant decisions need a careful assessment before any action is taken. Good, healthy decisions to change should include a serious appraisal of the challenges that must be confronted. Also, consider what will happen if you refuse to act.

Are you facing serious consequences if you do not change some behavior or thought pattern? What are the risks you face if you continue to do what you are doing? Periodic self-examination is a necessity for healthy living. The challenge to change is ever present, especially if something is detrimental to you and others.

Listen to David's example from Psalm 26 as he invited God to share  in his own self-examination. “Test me, O Lord, and try me; examine my heart and my mind, for your love is ever before me and I walk continually in your truth.” Take the challenge and ask God to empower you to make the hard choices you're facing. 

Re-making Wrong Choices - Part 3

We often make choices that produce guilt and shame. Decisions that show weakness and vulnerability also leave us wounded and fearful. After eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil Adam and Eve wanted to hide from God's presence and voice. They illustrate how vulnerable we are to making decisions that cause grief and shame.

These strong emotions can damage our self-esteem, making us feel  incapable of being loved and accepted. Guilt is a judgment we pass on to ourselves after we've been unfaithful or unethical. Shame is a sense of being judged negatively by oneself and others. Shame causes feelings of unworthiness and of being undeserving of trust and love.

Making decisions for positive change cannot do away with previous decisions, but we can accept that God loves the wounded soul and stands ready to forgive and heal. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.” This can be your chance for renewing of your faith in Christ Jesus. 

Re-making Wrong Choices - Part 2

Making choices for a better life is not simple. Decisions to change often provoke a struggle within. St. Paul took note of this struggle that plagues all humankind. “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” What choice do you have when your strong side is at war with your weaker side?

Abraham, a man of faith, is described as a person of integrity. He at times made choices that reflected his selfish side, but his integrity led him to re-make decisions based on his relationship with God. His belief in God  kept him on track in the face of failure. He believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness.

Integrity portrays honor and honesty. It seeks what is just and fair. Abraham refused to let bad choices dominate his life. David made this appeal to God: “Create in me a clean heart and renew a faithful spirit within me. A broken and contrite heart you will not despise.” Christ in you is your hope for change. 

Re-making Wrong Choices - Part 1

There were moments when each of us made choices that set a course for our lives to follow. An old cliché says, “You made your bed, now lie in it.” While it's important to accept the consequences associated with choices we've made, God in his mercy gives us a chance to re-choose the direction our lives will take. The bed can be re-made.

It takes courage to change. We have to struggle against the voice of anxiety and fear. You know well this voice that questions the decisions to  change with these words: “What if…?” What if you make the wrong choice? What if you fail?

It does take courage to change because change requires decision-making. However the Lord God extends to you his help as you venture out in faith to improve your life. Keep God's words from Deuteronomy 31:6 fresh in your mind: “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear or be afraid, for the Lord your God, he is the one who goes with you.” Re-choosing instead of staying in the same old rut gives you a chance for a new beginning. 

Choosing Commitment - Part 3

Alfred Lord Byron, the English poet, wrote that revenge is sweet. This attitude plays well in literature, but in relationships it creates disastrous consequences for all involved. The need for revenge negatively affects the spirit and soul of the one harboring such feelings. Revenge can be acted out in hateful, destructive behavior or by passive aggressive isolation.

The drive for retribution originates from hurt and anger and is often directed toward someone you trusted and loved. It can be directed toward a stranger who brought pain and suffering into your life. Getting past this destructive mindset requires honest self-evaluations. Ask yourself, “What have I got to lose by letting go of this need for revenge? What do I gain by giving it up?”

The answer is freedom to live in peace. God's Word asserts, “Revenge is mine. I will repay says the Lord.” Jesus reminds you to seek the truth and it will set you free. God invites you to forgive as he in Christ Jesus has forgiven you, and that is indeed a godly choice. 

Choosing Commitment - Part 2

In a recent movie, a social worker tells a young girl whose life is in disarray that she can choose not to run away - she can choose to co-operate and try to make her life better. The social worker informs her she can choose to control her anger, which becomes possible as she learns to trust others to meet of her physical and emotional needs.

Some people's lives follow a pattern of disarray because of impulsive decisions. These choices bring unfortunate consequences. Anger can get a foothold and become the basis for life’s decisions, leading to disaster. In the movie, this young girl chooses to give up her fear and anger for a chance to be accepted and loved by a foster family.

Refusing to be controlled by negative emotions like fear and anger is an important doable decision. You can also decide to trust in God’s Word. Jeremiah 29:11 is a trustworthy promise: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Trust is a choice that produces positive change. 

Choosing Commitment - Part 1

How well do you take care of yourself? While some problems we encounter in life are not of our choosing, most come about as the result of our own decisions. How we take care of ourselves, physically, mentally and spiritually, determines success or failure. Deciding to exercise helps maintain a healthy body and mind. Sometimes we start off with good intentions, but those good intentions may slip away.  

Connected to any decision is commitment. To commitment there must be a doable plan in place for reaching a specific goal. St. Paul said, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me.” To press onward is a choice bound up in commitment.

God intended for us to take care of ourselves because our body, mind and spirit comprise a temple for the Holy Spirit. How well you care for yourself depends on your motivation. God loves you and sacrificed for you to give you life abundantly! It’s not about feeling guilty, but rather feeling worthy because God has chosen you.  

Contented or Complacent? - Part 3

Making good choices resulting in positive change is what everyone wants. Wise decisions affect not only our lives, but also the lives of others who may not be comfortable with our choices. Deciding to go away to college after high school could be the right decision for a young person, but the parents might become anxious and oppose the idea.

Support and encouragement from parents are what young people need to make these steps toward independence. Parents are responsible for giving their children healthy emotional supplies, including love, trust and respect, that enable them make this move. Trust, respect and love are what you give them in graduated steps from the day they are born.

A simple but vital step in this process is to commit them to God the Father just as Hanna did with Samuel. She promised in 1 Samuel 1:28 that he would will be given over to the Lord for his entire life. I realize children make choices for their own lives, but what you do with them while they are in your care affects the choices they make throughout life.  

Contented or Complacent? - Part 2

Making decisions that affect positive change depends on motivation. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled.” Fear and anxiety frequently prevent a person from attempting new possibilities. Being so afraid of making a wrong choice, we get stuck indefinitely in difficult or bad situations.

We change whether or not we are even aware of it. Our attitude may change or soften with maturity. We're motivated by an enduring inner need to be accepted, especially by those who are important to us, but this may cause us to resist change. There are times, however, when we need to wake up and take a close look at where we are going with our lives.      

 It is not too late to make important changes. Ephesians 5:14 gives this appeal: “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you.” Maybe you’ve felt dead in your heart and spirit, but you can wake up and let the light of Christ shine on you and your circumstances. You can choose that light, and what a great choice!  

Contented or Complacent? - Part 1

Making necessary changes is often complicated by complacency, which can be difficult to dislodge. This attitude can become so anchored that change seems impossible even though opportunity to do so exists. A hard working  executive was offered a new job with an increase in salary and good benefits but declined because change made him feel uneasy.

Complacency tells us to avoid what is uncomfortable although there is no apparent danger. Clichés like “Don’t rock the boat,” and “Don’t make waves,” expose our insecurities. Moses was content to stay with his father-in-law tending sheep, but God had different plans for him. Although the risk for Moses was great, he reluctantly obeyed God’s call.

Making decisions to change necessitates confronting complacency with affirmations like: “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” and “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you O Lord are with me.” Challenging complacency demands courage and determination.  

Choice and Destiny - Part 2

An ancient wise man said, “Choice, not chance, determines destiny.” Our choices determine success or failure, happiness or discouragement. Romans 6:23 validates how our destiny can be altered: “For sin pays its wage which is death; but God’s free gift, to all who believe, is eternal life in union with Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Jesus promised in John 14:26 to help us with our decision-making so there could be positive change.  “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said.” This may be difficult to believe for those who feel stuck or who feel abandoned, but it's true.

Rearranging and altering an old destiny is possible. While it may seem impossible at first, determine to explore what God puts in your heart to do. The guidance of the Holy Spirit, our Counselor sent to instruct us when faced with difficult choices, is always present. Determine to listen to this voice, for all things are possible with God.

Choice and Destiny - Part 1

Everyone has longed to go back to a specific time in their personal history for an opportunity to make better choices. While crucial life decisions are consistently placed before us, risky choices need careful evaluations. Some individuals consistently make decisions that result in negative consequences for themselves and others.       

What can we do to make sure our choices produce constructive change? First, avoid impulsive decisions.  Making impulsive decisions can result in unwanted consequences. To avoid this outcome, be sure to give significant decisions a “fair chance” to be evaluated. Discussing an issue with those who will give honest feedback is a necessity.

Proverbs 20:18 offers us these words of instruction: “Get good advice and you will succeed; don’t go charging into battle without a plan.” Good advice is like a lamp to guide your path. Good teaching is a light to direct your thoughts. Talk to God about what’s in your heart, for he gives confidence to those who desire to please him. 

Making Choices for Positive Change

Making choices is unavoidable. Even choosing not to choose is a choice. Decision-making is a natural part of living each day. We make so many choices in a day’s time, most of us would be surprised to learn how many because the number would be amazing. Some choices are routine and require little thought, while others require our utmost attention.

Choices can be good or bad, minor or major. Some affect our lives indefinitely by providing happiness and joy. We may then give ourselves a pat on the back for being so wise to have chosen so well. These choices have the capacity for bringing positive good to each person involved.

In  Joshua 24:15, the author encourages the people of Israel and us to “choose this day the Lord God and serve him.” Choosing the Lord God is a vital and urgent decision basic to fellowship and being blessed by him. All other choices are affected by this decision because the Lord God is trustworthy and loves you. God bless you as you choose.