An
early pioneer in the field of psychology observed two basic entities known as the
pain and pleasure principle. I'm sure you would agree that most people try to
avoid pain, and when it's felt, an all-out effort is exerted to find relief. Too
much emotional pain caused by a significant other can lead to despair and often
finds relief by creating distance.
What causes a couple to gravitate toward pain
and despair? Differences in personalities, beliefs, and positions taken on
issues are fertile grounds for hurt feelings, conflict, and misunderstanding. Ideally,
pain caused by personal differences could lead to deeper closeness and intimacy
when communication leads to understanding
and is honored and accepted.
Positive
change is possible when pain is viewed as a friendly messenger. Pain becomes the gateway to wisdom if permitted
to do so. Job 6:25 proclaims: "How painful are honest words." If you can trust your inward pain to a loved
one who hears and understands, a door opens to a deeper, more pleasurable
intimate relationship.
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