Trust: a Bridge from Conflict to Freedom

Unresolved conflict builds a bridge to emotional distance that separates those who love and cherish each other. Conflict most often centers on the issue of control. In some marriages the battle for control begins immediately, not necessarily an aggressive striving for control but perhaps a subtle, indirect effort to demonstrate power.

The attempt to gain power may remain activated indefinitely. This is especially true where a healthy balance of power remains unnegotiated. Freedom of choice is a God-given privilege, but conflict attempts to negate the right to choose. Even God gives each person the right to choose or reject his grace and mercy.

Conflict driven by greed, fear or insecurity strives to extinguish the right to choose. According to Proverbs 29:25, "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." Establishing trust in God and others diminishes fear. Trust builds a bridge to freedom from the bondage of conflict.  

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Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.

Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!

~Proverbs 3:5-7 The Message

Family Peace: Putting God in Charge - Part 2

Couples who develop a high level of trust for each other learn how to avoid destructive power struggles. Developing trust for each other's strengths and weaknesses contributes to a balance of power that's important for creating a strong, healthy relationship. The appropriate delegating of power in a relationship relies on feelings of trust, peace, and contentment.

Developing and sustaining trust hinges on how others behave. Your perception of others and the world is influenced by behaviors you observe and the personal experiences you bring to a relationship. If you were deceived or abandoned in a former relationship, you might be distrustful about being vulnerable again. Surviving emotionally depends on knowing who to trust.

Jesus knew about the need to trust. Jesus is trustworthy because he is the Son of God, so he asks you to trust him as a friend and Lord of your life. Listen to Matthew 16:25. "Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." Taking this step of trust and faith is a significant choice for positive change.  

Family Peace: Putting God in Charge - Part 1

Seeking a balance of power has always been a struggle for a nation and   for families. Negotiating this balance is preferred to power struggles that strive for  dominance. Power struggles tend to damage each person's integrity, which in turn jeopardize the trust and respect that anchor a relationship. Without trust and respect, a relationship is in danger of eroding.

Strong healthy couples learn to honor each other's need for power that is embodied in their gifts and talents. Honoring each other's need for power recognizes a need for independence that compliments the need for dependence. Acknowledging and accepting each other's strengths calms the fears and insecurities that are intertwined with power struggles.

Communication centered on healthy discussion opens a way for making choices which are based on trust and respect. Trust and respect assume each person will act with integrity and honesty. Proverbs 11:13 acknowledges that. "You can put your confidence in someone who is trustworthy." Becoming trustworthy is a choice God will honor.  

The Power of Patience: Taming the Temper - Part 3

The family is the most prized possession of a nation, for it provides a stabilizing force that's sustained by love, trust, and respect. Family members create a system of rules and boundaries for the distribution power and authority. Fair and healthy distribution of power provides contentment to the family unit. Successful management of power minimizes conflict.

Striving for power is a contributing factor to a family's demise. Power struggles come in many forms and often are observed at family gatherings. Jacob and Esau represent a classic struggle between siblings striving for power. Jacob outwits Esau for his birthright. Then Jacob and his mother conspire against Esau for their father's blessing.

Couples struggle for power by using money, sex, and children. Finding the appropriate balance of power, as intended by God, keeps a family healthy and together. God intended for family members to be subject to one another out of respect, love, and trust. Choosing God's way is the pathway to peace, joy, and blessings.