Is It Possible to Remain Calm in the Presence of Strife?

Have you ever planned a vacation that included a long road trip to see parts of the country and that promised enjoyment and excitement? Our lives and relationships often are compared to a journey that’s comprised of  predictability, some surprises, unexpected struggles, and moments of love and fulfillment.

Struggles and strife can catch us unprepared and surprised. Over- reacting emotionally often is caused by being caught off-guard and sensing a situation as threatening. Remaining self-composed can be difficult in the presence of angry or loud, defensive language.

Is it possible to remain calm when you are struggling emotionally? Yes! 

Look beyond the moment to understand what’s more important than reacting. Claim this promise from 2 Timothy 1:7: “God has not given you a spirit of fear but a spirit of love, power, and self-control.” What better promise can help you remain calm? May you be blessed with the peace of Christ in your heart and mind this Easter season.      

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Our God says, “Calm down, and learn [Be still, and know] that I am God!” 

~Psalm 46:10 Contemporary English Version [New International Version]

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Is There Help for Remaining Calm when under Stress?

Remaining calm in stressful situations is extremely difficult to achieve and maintain, but it’s essential to achieving healthy objectives. The temptation is to become angry, lose control, and use harsh language along with impulsive behaviors that are often motivated by fear.

While all struggles within a relationship can’t be avoided, they do not have to be destructive. Remaining calm and composed in the mist of strife is possible by remaining focused on the positive attributes of the other person rather than making a point or winning the conflict.

One important source for remaining calm is to acknowledge that Jesus is capable of calming the most severe storms of life as we seek his presence. 

A powerful hymn allows us to remain focused and in control if we stay centered on its challenge: “Be still, my soul! The Lord is on your side.” This message will defeat any effort to sweep you off course. So may the peace that Jesus gives rule in your heart during this Easter season.  

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Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel. 

~Philippians 4:7 Contemporary English Version

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What Helps Us Remain Calm when Troubles Abound?

Most people are aware of how destructive a powerful storm can be when it disrupts a sense of well-being. What also amazes us is how calm we can feel when, in faith, we trust that the Holy Spirit is present to guide us through the storm.

Keeping calm in the presence of a relationship storm demonstrates assurance God will be available to resolve troubling issues.

Being calm is important for keeping anger and fear at bay so each person’s needs will be expressed and adequately communicated.

Refusing to participate in hostile accusations aids in remaining calm. What can become a positive defining moment in an emotional storm is remembering God’s words from Proverbs 17:27: “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” Knowledge and understanding are key to remaining calm in the chaos of a storm. So let the peace of Christ in this Holy season rule within you.                 

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Stay away from stupid and senseless arguments. These only lead to trouble, and God’s servants must not be troublemakers. They must be kind to everyone, and they must be good teachers and very patient. 

~2 Timothy 2: 23-24 Contemporary English Version

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How Is Calmness Essential for Effective Communication?

One characteristic of every marriage is a communication style that reflects personality and temperament. Communication style refers to how couples speak to each other, how thoroughly they listen as well as how feelings are acknowledged.

All individuals react to words and to facial expression, including the eyes and the sound of the voice. Effective communication patiently allows others to say what they think and feel without interrupting. This reveals showing love and respect for each other and keeping intimacy alive.

When tempers begin to fly, walk away until each person has gained composure.

Calmness in the presence of a storm can be the means for finding solutions to problems rather than sinking into chaos. Listen to Proverbs 14:17: “People with a hot temper do foolish things; wise people remain calm.” A calm presence is essential for effective communication.          

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Do not let evil get the upper hand but conquer evil by doing good.

~Romans 12:21 The Living Bible

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What Is a Possible Remedy for Complaining?

How individuals or couples function in a relationship determines satisfaction and enjoyment. Disagreements and arguments do not mean that a relationship is in trouble but can be an opportunity for expressing feelings and thoughts as well as discovering solutions to what is troubling each person.

It’s critically important to realize that registering a difference of opinion or expressing a simple complaint is miles apart from criticizing and attacking another’s character and integrity. Complaining can become habitual and is indicative of unhappiness with oneself, with another person or the relationship.

Asking an intimate other for suggestions on how to solve a problem is a strategy for remaining calm. Being willing to listen and consider solutions that vary from your own ideas is absolutely necessary. Proverbs 15:18 offers hope: “Hot tempered people stir up dissension, but patient people calm quarrels.” It is possible to be patient with each other.        

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Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity.

~Proverbs 14:29 The Message 

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How Is God at Work to Heal Relationships?

After a major disagreement most individuals need time to think through what caused the conflict. It’s important to understand and accept each person’s responsibility for initiating an argument. Owning up to selfishness is not being weak but rather is demonstrating strength of character.

A defining moment occurs when a change in communication style improves how conflict is managed. Insight doesn’t usually come from hostile exchanges of accusations. Insight comes afterwards when there is silence, if it comes at all.

A pivotal moment can come by realizing God is at work to heal each person. 

He gives wisdom and understanding to those who will use it so a relationship can heal and peace can be restored. The Good News Bible in Proverbs 17:27 reminds us that “people who remain calm have real insight.” A calming presence is sometimes difficult, but necessary for successful problem solving.  

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Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant. Love does not envy; it does not boast, it Is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keep no record of wrongs. Love do not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.

~1 Corinthians 13:4-6 New American Standard Bible/New International Version 

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What Shuts Down a Foolish Argument?

Arguments and conflicts cannot be avoided in most relationships. A defining moment between two people is not that an argument or fight takes place, but what happens afterwards. A significant argument can erupt spontaneously over minor issues but end up doing emotional damage to the relationship.

A pivotal moment is created by understanding the degree to which a person may cover up hurt feelings because they fear expressing what they think and feel. After a disagreement, it’s critically important for you to share what happened from each person’s point of view.

If critical thoughts and feelings dominate without working toward a resolution, emotional distance will take place. Rather than permitting alienation to become permanent, be honest and share what you did to create the conflict. 

God honors honesty and will provide help to make resolutions possible. So be willing to make things right.  

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A kind answer soothes angry feelings, but harsh words stir them up. Words of wisdom come from the wise, but fools speak foolishness. 

~Proverbs 15:1-2 Contemporary English Version

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