Leaving Home

Jacob grew up feeling a deep sense of attachment to his mother. His brother Esau was close to the father. We see this same dynamic in contemporary families even though the circumstances and culture are different. Personality and temperament can influence a child to identify with one parent, which gives the appearance of favoritism and paves the way for sibling rivalry.

Favoritism most often opens the door for self-centeredness. Self-centeredness can be so deliberately expressed, there can be no mistake identifying it. On the other hand, self-centeredness can be expressed so creatively, you may feel that person is doing you a favor by using you for their good.

Self-centeredness can be linked to feelings of fear and inadequacy, leaving a person believing if they look right, act right, these feelings will remain concealed. When we commit our deficiencies to Christ Jesus, they lose their power to control our lives. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Have you committed your life to Jesus? Why not do it now?

False Beliefs Diminish Trust

Who appreciates waiting indefinitely for something to happen? Most of us want instant gratification, and when it doesn’t happen, we become impatient, determined to push for what we need or want. Jacob seemed to be a man short on patience, unwilling to wait for God’s timing to get what he thought he deserved.

Jacob was self-centered and above considering other people’s needs and feelings. He believed in getting what he wanted by hook or crook and avoiding the consequences for his reckless behavior. Accepting a power greater than his own was only for convenience. It would take a life-changing crisis for him to build a bridge of confidence required for making changes.

False beliefs set him up to take unnecessary risks. He refused to consider the suffering he brought on others or what he would experience for his own lack of patience. God helps us gain patience so we can see how effective He is at working for our best good. He encourages us to be still and see that he is the Lord God. 

The Quest for Power and Position

The biblical account of Jacob and Esau outlines one person’s quest for power. Jacob’s plot to manipulate Esau into trading his birthright for a pot of soup was an attempt to gain a place of prominence in his family. Jacob needed power and was willing to be deceitful, disloyal and become a co-conspirator with his mother Rebekah to ensure he obtained it.

What he didn’t realize was that this drive for power and position would be an impediment to becoming the person God designed him to be. He would be driven by fear and a false sense of self that would get reinforced every time he used his manipulative skills to get what he wanted.

FEAR is a strong force in everyone and equal to our feelings of inadequacy. It would be decades before Jacob became conscious of his real weaknesses and was able to face them squarely. Only as fear is faced can a person evolve the character strengths God will use to do his work.  "With God, all things are possible."

Hurtful Choices

What kind of person would give up his or her inheritance for a quick meal? Hunger is an extremely strong drive, one of our strongest. Late one Friday afternoon when I was in the Air Force I recall walking into the mess hall starved, ready to gobble down anything on the menu, even if were something I hated.

  

Genesis 25:30 tells us Esau came in from a hunt absolutely famished. In that state he traded his birthright to Jacob for a quick meal, which was a great deal for Jacob. He could have given the food to Esau. This was his brother, but Jacob was not generous and Esau was willing to sell cheap.

 

What could these brothers have been thinking and feeling later that evening? Jacob could have used his creativity to be generous, but he used it for selfish gain. This was his chance to be loving and kind, but he chose to build a bridge to hate and alienation. While it’s hard to wait for God’s timing and purpose, it’s the right thing to do. 

Keeping Faith Alive

The biblical account of Jacob and Esau reflects our personality and behaviors. Esau believed in taking one day at a time while his brother Jacob was a man going somewhere with a definite attitude and purpose. He wanted power, position and control, so he persuaded a very hungry Esau to trade his birthright for a bowl of stew.

Most people will give food to someone genuinely hungry, but not Jacob. Evidently his value system did not intend for generosity to play a significant role in his life nor a belief that God would provide for his needs. His attitude was if he didn’t do things, they wouldn’t get done. Yet when we trust God to meet our needs, we feel secure.

When we’re bombarded by those eager to take from us all they can get, we're tempted to shut down generosity. Faith in Christ Jesus inspires giving to those in sincere need. James 2:17 warns that faith without good deeds is dead. Faith and generosity build a bridge to mutuality, giving to each other.

Selfish Ambition vs. Sacrificial Giving

SELFISHNESS can be an automatic, protective mindset and behavior when danger is apparent. Most often, however, it’s motivated by greed designed to satisfy deeper needs. Jacob wanted his brother’s birthright.  His attitude was, “I want all that's mine and what belongs to you.” He wanted his brother’s position and prestige.

What drives a person to develop a selfish disposition? Reckless ambition characterized Jacob’s life even though he had everything he needed. So instead of being greedy for more wealth, he wanted the acknowledgement that ownership of Esau’s birthright would give him. He would not live his life in obscurity by being in second place.

Jacob did not love his brother. Selfish ambition blindsided moral responsibility. He was thinking only of himself. Selfishness driven by greed grabs whatever is wanted. Jesus said, “Give and it shall be given to you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together will others give to you.” This is a basic life principle to live by. 

Loving Demands Sacrifice

When Esau traded his birthright for a bowl of soup, Genesis 25:34 tells us he then despised his birthright and looked at it with contempt, believing it was worthless. His attitude was a defense for acting impulsively to satisfy his immediate hunger. We’ve all been guilty of acting impulsively, then dealing with consequences that tend to linger on indefinitely.

A young man told of an incident where he met a colleague in a bar and after several drinks, took her home and spent the night. Later he began to loathe and despise the young woman. Looking at his own weakness was too difficult to manage. Esau’s attitude should have been loaded with shame and guilt for having been so careless.

Jacob could have acted toward his brother with love by giving him the soup. Esau might have responded by expressing his gratitude and appreciation for such a loving act. When you love, you give something of yourself, of what you possess, and you show what it means to be effective as a human being whom God has blessed. God commanded that we love one another. 

Choosing to Do What's Good and Right

The struggle between Jacob and Esau began early. Rebekah, their mother, complained to God about their rambunctious activity in her womb. After their birth Esau had the upper hand because he was the firstborn and physically stronger. Today he would enjoy being an all-around athlete. Jacob would be considered the studious, nerdy type.

Later Jacob would scheme to steal Esau’s birthright as firstborn. Jacob longed and waited for the right moment to move into action. He did not consider what was morally right or God’s plan and timing. He wanted what he wanted as soon as he could get it. Esau was impetuous and traded his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of soup.

Jacob believed by taking possession of Esau’s birthright, he would be set for life, a person of significance with power and prestige. He could never imagine the pain and suffering the future held in store for him. In truth, there is no substitute for being loved, and yet our blessings come from loving others as God loves us. 

Giving the Best Gift

Jacob and Esau, although twin brothers, were not emotionally close nor were they good friends. Jacob was a quiet, observing person who stayed close to the tent. Esau was a skilled hunter, robust by nature, who took from each day what was available. Jacob planned, was ready and eager to use his wits to reach his objective.

Genesis 25:34 notes how Jacob gave Esau some bread and lentil stew, but only after Esau agreed to trade his birthright for the stew. Why not give Esau the food with no strings attached? What kind of person takes advantage of his brother? For Jacob it was a deal too good to pass up, and besides, a good opportunity doesn’t come along every day.

Jacob didn’t love his brother enough to prevent this deplorable, manipulative act from taking place. He could have given Esau the food. Giving is an act of love and trust that strengthens the bond between the giver and the recipient. When you freely give, your competence to love others as God loves you is enhanced. 

Playing Favorites

It’s an awesome experience to know God's unconditional love as opposed to conditional love. What’s the difference? Conditional love requires approved behavior, meaning if you perform correctly you have approval and acceptance. If you do not meet this standard then you’re out of the circle of approval.  What does unconditional love mean to you?

Unconditional love means you do not have to be perfect to be approved, but that doesn’t give you a license to sin. Unconditional love builds a bridge to the desire to resist basic impulses while encouraging mature choices. Parental favoritism eliminates unconditional love because favoritism is filled with messages of conditional love.

Jacob and Esau grew up in a divided family. Jacob was Rebekah’s favorite and Esau was Isaac’s favorite. This dynamic set the stage for family members to be in permanent conflict. Unconditional love, as much as is humanly possible, pulls the family together by building a bridge to strong bonds that last a lifetime.  

An Unhealthy Alliance

Children are astute in observing parental responses to their personalities, behaviors and giftedness. A parent may give consent to unacceptable behavior knowing it builds a bridge to trouble. This dynamic existed between Rebekah and her favorite son Jacob. It was an unhealthy alliance that permitted Jacob to trade a bowl of soup for his brother Esau’s birthright.

 

You might side with Jacob and say Esau shouldn’t have been so stupid. That trade could be compared to swapping a four-year college education for a combo meal at a fast food restaurant. Anger and remorse are emotions felt toward oneself or others after an impulsive act, but Jacob apparently didn’t feel guilt or shame for his behavior.

Before the twins’ birth, God told Rebekah Jacob would rule over Esau, so she favored Jacob, which meant her love was stronger for him. This being the case, it had to have been obvious to both boys. God prefers parents love each child equally because his love is unconditional. Let us give thanks and praise to him for this wonderful blessing. 

From Regret to Redemption

Jacob was the son of Isaac and Rebekah. His twin brother Esau traded his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of soup. His rationale made perfect sense to him. “If I don’t get something to eat, I’m going to die! Then what good would my birthright be?” The pervasive aroma seeping from the soup was too tempting to resist.

Have you ever acted impulsively and had to live with never-ending regret? Jacob knew his brother, whom he feared somewhat but evidently knew he could manipulate. Manipulating others is a skill learned early in childhood. Siblings learn to manipulate each other sometimes with the parent’s blessings, especially when it’s perceived as being creative.

Jacob used his creative abilities to persuade Esau to trade his birthright for a quick meal, which was a dishonorable, unloving act. Jacob saw his character flaw as a positive skill that gave him an advantage. Remember, God does not close his eyes to sin, but will wait for sincere repentance and change which builds a bridge to integrity. 

Grabbing What You Want

Jacob was the twin son of Isaac and Rebekah. His name means grabber.  He was born holding on to the heel of his brother Esau which seemed to say, “Wait a minute! Don’t leave me behind.” Esau, as the firstborn, had exclusive birthright privileges, like a double portion of the inheritance.

Esau the hunter liked being outside. One day after Esau returned from a hunt feeling famished, tired and hungry, Jacob just happened to have a big pot of red stew ready to serve. As Esau came stumbling into the tent from his day’s work, he got a good whiff of the savory dish, which only intensified his hunger.

Jacob offered to trade Esau the pot of stew for his birthright, to which Esau promptly agreed. This trade would begin building a bridge of regret, anger, even hatred. Jacob wanted more out of life, expected more and devised ways to grab whatever he could. However, he left God out of his enterprises, which he would come to regret. Including Christ Jesus in your decisions brings blessings and favor.