Choosing Reality: For Today and Tomorrow - Part 1

The most difficult task of parenting is helping children develop the ability to deal constructively with reality. As a parent, you do your best to protect your child from physical harm. What parent would permit their toddler to play in the street or be near a swimming pool without constant supervision? Concerned  parents teach children how to deal effectively with reality.

Dealing constructively with reality assumes intelligence and aptitude for change. Every child within proper age range and with normal intelligence has the capacity for understanding and accepting facts pertaining of the real world. Reality becomes distorted for children and adults as they are being inundated with false information from those who appear trustworthy.

A truth to embrace is that God constantly holds us accountable for what we model to others, especially children. God gives us initiative and wisdom for making effective changes as we choose to commit our lives to him. God is faithful to forgive and cleanse from all unrighteousness when we confess and turn away from sin. This is God's reality.

Dealing Constructively with Reality - Part 3

A personal concept of reality is based largely on our spiritual beliefs, our political positions, and our beliefs of the right ways to function in society. Our concept of reality can be distorted when reality becomes what we want it to be. Our perception of truth can be based on facts and data that are less than accurate.

In recent months there has been a rash of killings by radicalized people who believed they were doing what was right and good. What happened to distort their concept of reality and truth? A middle school English teacher asked her students to write an essay on any topic of their choice. The majority wrote in graphic detail of the violence they believed comprised their world.

The role of parents has always been to teach and model for children healthy ways to deal effectively with reality. This includes making sure they have the ability to see and understand the truth of God's word and how it applies to their lives. God faithfully gives us insight and wisdom to help us manage reality.  

Dealing Constructively with Reality - Part 2

It is not unusual for a friend or parent to offer words of caution when they observe us approaching a painful situation. God also is working to guide and direct us by whatever means he chooses. However we're at liberty to ignore every concerned voice offering caution and guidance, even the voice of God himself.

Dealing effectively with reality must include our willingness to consider the unsolicited advice and guidance of others. The eagerness to consider another person's perspective indicates a belief that God works through other people to help us define and clarify direction for our lives. Being unwilling to listen to other voices can flaw our ability to make effective decisions.

Dealing constructively with reality may require asking God and others for help. David, Israel's greatest king, often found himself in this position. In Psalm 51:12 he pleads with God to restore the joy of his salvation and to grant him a willing spirit so he could be sustained as he faced a difficult situation. This can be your choice.  

Dealing Constructively with Reality - Part 1

Reality is what we believe is absolutely true. When reality is painful and difficult to face, the truth as we see it can become distorted, denied, or avoided. Some people say exactly what they think regardless of how those words hurt others. When confronted with how their words emotionally devastate others, a common response is, "I'm being myself and speaking the truth."

Dealing constructively with reality requires admitting that hurtful behaviors damage relationships. Failure to face this truth takes place when emotional damage is blamed on something other than a critical attitude. Criticism is capable of destroying trust and of making a friendship or relationship undesirable.

Caring enough to confront is risky because the capacity to change may be limited or absent. Rejection produces sadness, but can be dealt with constructively when we allow it to help us face reality and change. Jesus was consistently bombarded with criticism, but his approach was to confront the truth with love and forgiveness.  

Facing Tough Realities: Pressing On - Part 3

Some people are sadly lacking in the desire to deal constructively with reality even when confronted with undeniable facts. Dealing constructively with reality often requires letting go of what is unattainable. This also applies to being rejected. Feelings of rejection can be difficult to manage in healthy ways.

Jesus wept over the people of Jerusalem when they refused to accept him. The people he would die for saw him as undesirable. Grieving is a choice and is God's way for managing rejection. Where does the ability and desire to grieve come from when we are forced to deal constructively with the harsh realities of life?

Using Jesus as our model for managing the reality of rejection, we find that he never lost sight of who he was or of his purpose. He was willing to see other choices for his immediate situation. It's important to have long-term goals for making healthy choices when change is required. Ask Christ Jesus to give you courage to press on toward what you know to be God's purpose for you.  

Facing Tough Realities: Pressing On - Part 2

Some realities of life seem impossible to accept. A common response is to deny their existence. Dealing constructively with reality requires admitting all is not well. A popular song put it this way, "I never promised you a rose garden." God does not promise us a life absent of problems and harsh realities.

However, believing life is manageable with God's help opens the door for healthy change. Power struggles most often center around denial of reality. For example, striving with others to change their behavior or personality creates an attitude of hopelessness. Only Christ Jesus can change a person, but he will do so only with their consent and submission.

Ask yourself, "What do I need to see and hear to make sure I'm facing God's crucial realities for my life?" Dealing constructively with whatever those realities happen to be and asking God to empower you to change are choices you can make. Permitting God to speak to you through his word and by spending time in prayer are reliable sources for help.  

Facing Tough Realities: Pressing On - Part 1

The facts of reality are not always easy to accept, but most individuals  eventually face what cannot be denied. The issue is learning how to deal constructively with reality, which is a basic principle for making choices for effective change in difficult situations. This applies to power struggles where   striving for dominance and control jeopardize a relationship.

Someone told me he finally realized the futility of fighting with his wife. A deeper hurt was the lack of closeness and loneliness they both experienced. Quarreling proved to be a "no win" situation as the main issue failed to be addressed. Getting bogged down in power struggles overlooks areas where there is compatibility for potential happiness.

Dealing constructively with reality requires making some tough choices. What appears impossible can become workable by accepting the positive attributes about a person or relationship. Being flexible enough for God to create an attitude of hope in you is a choice you can make. Hope that rests in Christ Jesus builds confidence for facing tough realities.