Are Habits Necessary?

Selected parts of our daily activities involve routines or habits that are necessary for completing particular tasks. Charles Reade, the English novelist, expounded on Galatians 6:8 with these rather unsettling words: “Sow an act and reap a habit. Sow a habit and reap a character. Sow a character and reap a destiny.” 

Some habits are an abomination to God because their end is separation from loved ones and unending grief. There is within us the power to conquer bad habits when empowered by the Holy Spirit and his  righteous purpose. By replacing a bad habit with a good one, our destiny is altered and changed.

The apostle Paul instructs you to put off everything that stands between you and Christ Jesus and be redeemed and cleansed by the blood of Jesus. This provides the power to change what separates you from God and others. Jesus Christ has a new destiny and a new hope for you, so claim these now.  

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Don’t be misled; remember that you can’t ignore God and get away with it: a man will always reap just the kind of crop he sows! If he sows to please his own wrong desires, he will be planting seeds of evil and he will surely reap a harvest of spiritual decay and death; but if he plants the good things of the Spirit, he will reap the everlasting life which the Holy Spirit gives him.

~Galatians 6:7-8 The Living Bible

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How Can Bad Habits Be Overcome?

Some form of structure is required in all facet of government, business, family life, and individual activities to prevent chaos from being in control. Even for retirees, some organization and scheduling is needed for peace of mind. The fact that human beings require predictability makes us subject to the need for structure and habit formation.

Listen to Ephesians 5:15-17 and 1 Corinthians 14:40. “Be careful how you live, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of your time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is... All things should be done decently and in order.”

It’s not too late to change a bad habit for a healthy good one. Habits are a part of life, second nature for human beings. Some habits sustain you like prayer and God’s word, which bring peace and hope. These were designed by God to sustain and encourage you throughout your life.  

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How can a… person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.

~Psalm 119:9 New International Version

 

God’s laws are perfect. They protect us, make us wise, and give us joy and light. God’s laws are pure, eternal, just… May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to you, O Lord my Rock and my Redeemer.

~Psalm 19:7-8,14 The Living Bible

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~Psalm 19:7-8,14 The Living Bible

Can Habitual Lying Be Subdued?

Have you noticed that children do not need to be taught how to lie or deliberately hide the truth? This tendency seems to be connected to some perceived threat of punishment. Parents are saddled with the task of teaching children to be truthful, for lying can become a habit or behavior pattern that lasts a lifetime.

As a child, I was told that little white lies supposedly didn’t matter much. However, white lies can be a steppingstone to a lifetime of fabrications and falsehoods that become a sinful habit. This pattern may progress on to become pathological lying, where a blatant lie is indistinguishable from the truth.

If lying has become habitual, there is help. Ask the Holy Spirit to convict you of its depravity so it moves your heart and soul to confession and repentance. Ask Jesus to fill you with his truth and also with clarity so that whenever you’re tempted to lie, you will instantly recognize it. God promises you a way to escape, so be determined to take it.  

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Do you want a long, good life? Then watch your tongue! Keep your lips from lying.

~Psalm 34:12-13 The Living Bible

 

Teach me your ways, O Lord; make them known to me. Teach me to live according to your truth, for you are my God, who saves me. I always trust in you.

Psalm 25:4-5 Good News Bible

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What Gives Addictions Power?

When I was an adolescent, my mother warned me about the dangers of addictions and how difficult it is to overcome them. My father began smoking as a preteen and developed a cough which was a prelude to emphysema that eventually killed him. He felt powerless to break the habit until it was too late.

Unfortunately, so many of today’s youth think current addictions are cool. While you may not be addicted to alcohol, tobacco, or other habits that can be detrimental to your physical and emotional health, there are behavior patterns that are embarrassing or even frustrating to you. For some people lying, being untruthful, and fabricating falsehoods can become habitual. 

The power to break habits comes by permitting Jesus Christ to create in you a new way of thinking that has control over the old thought patterns. This is done by being honest about your habits and then permitting God to give you the tools to make significant life changes.  

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You were doing so well until someone made you turn from the truth. And that person certainly was not sent by the one who chose you…My friends, you were chosen to be free. So don’t use your freedom to do anything you want. Use it as an opportunity to serve each other with love.

~Galatians 5:7-8,13 Contemporary English Version 

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What Gives Habits Power?

Habits are easily formed, but once they’ve secured a dwelling place, they seldom take their leave. Mark Twain wrote in Pudd’nhead Wilson, “A habit is a habit, and not to be flung out the window, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.” Have you been against the cutting edge of a powerful, embarrassing habit that was hard to break?

An old English proverb states, “Habits are at first like cobwebs but then become shackles.” Habits can be formed by thinking something is cool, perhaps necessary for acceptance into a preferred peer group. You’ve noticed how words and speech patterns are habitually formed by those who need to fit in.

As you commit yourself to what is righteous and godly, you obtain the power to break the binding chains of a bad habit. As a bad habit is coached from its position of prominence and power, you can, with God’s help, construct a new way of thinking and behaving. So give Jesus Christ his place of power and prominence and he will give you courage to change.  

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I ask God from the  wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves, and I pray that Christ will make his home in your hearts by through faith.   

~Ephesians 3:16-17a Good News Bible

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How Do Habits Seize Control?

Habits form slowly but seize control of our lives like iron shackles. William James noted in the Principles of Psychology, “The hell to be endured [in the] hereafter…is no worse than the hell we make for ourselves in this world by habitually fashioning our characters in the wrong way…We are spinning our own fates, good or evil, and never to be undone.” When we realize the power of habits, we are more astute in our choices for good or evil.

            You may not be addicted to alcohol, tobacco or a street drug, but neither was Elvis Presley. He died from abuse of prescription drugs. A bad habit can be anything that causes pain and suffering, like speaking your mind. Someone said, “I say exactly what I think.” So what is missing here?

Listen to Proverbs 10:32: “Godly people speak words that are helpful while the wicked create upheaval and pain.” God’s people make Psalm 19:14 their guide. “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord my Redeemer.” Choose God’s way to be accepted and blessed.  

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And [Jesus] said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

~Mark 7:20-23 English Standard Version

 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

~1 John 1:9 New International Version 

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Can a Bad Habit Be Conquered?

What mental images does the word ‘habit’ generate in you? William James wrote in the Principles of Psychology, “You must make an ally out of your nervous system by consistently embracing early in life values to counteract habits that are detrimental to your physical and emotional well-being.”

Habits that are detrimental to your well-being are embraced by an immature mindset that believes nothing can control you. What is a habit that both young and old are prone to acquire today? William James says acquiring good, healthy habits is the best way to avoid detrimental ones.

What makes bad habits hard to break is that they are often welcomed, even believed to be helpful. In time you will begin to despise the power bad habits have over you. So here is the good news to remember. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that makes it a holy place for God to dwell, a place for fellowship with you, so guard it and keep it clean.  

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Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

~Romans 12:1 New American Standard Version

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What Does Nurturing Include?

Nurturing may not always be easy because it includes being encouraging, supportive, and loving as a natural, spontaneous act. Nurturing is more expansive than providing food, clothing, and shelter. It includes building self-esteem, confidence, and hope as well as consoling those grieving from an important loss.

Nurturing provides reassurance in situations that appear hopeless. It rises above anger, resentment, and revenge-seeking when someone has been physically or emotionally hurt. Overriding the impulse to identify with suffering victims takes strength of character, which will be provided as you permit the Holy Spirit to nurture you.

Colossians 3:5 instructs you to put to death impure thoughts and evil desires so you can permit the peace of Christ to rule your heart. Then you can nurture others as God has nurtured you. Allow the presence of Christ in you to create the courage, desire, and determination to do for others what he has done for you.  

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…Christ himself suffered for you and left you an example, so that you would follow in his steps.

~1 Peter 2:21 Good News Bible

 

…And all of you serve each other with humble spirits, for God gives special blessings to those who are humble, but sets himself against those who are proud.

~1 Peter 5:5 The Living Bible

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Do Criticism and Fault-finding Work?

Criticism and fault-finding are unproductive methods of persuading someone to change behaviors that are hurtful and emotionally damaging. Yet this strategy is often the one used in attempting to change another person. In adult and family relationships the fault-finder believes it’s appropriate to use this strategy.

Criticism and fault-finding are unhealthy behaviors capable of ruining a relationship, so it’s important to search for ways to be nurturing. What has proven to be successful in achieving this task is adopting behaviors and language that build up rather than tear down a person’s character.

If you immediately feel resistance to this recommendation, listen to God’s proposal from Colossians 3: “Rid yourselves of the anger, rage, malice and slander,” and “Forgive whatever grievance you have against another person.” Forgiveness opens the door to being nurturing, which builds up your character and the other person’s as well. This is God’s way.   

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Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.

~Ephesians 4:29 Good News Bible

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Is Nurturing a Necessity?

That newborn babies and young children need to be protected, loved, and nurtured goes without question. For a relationship or a person to thrive, nurturing plays a crucial role. Nurturing can be displayed through gentleness, kindness, and primarily through love and affection.

Criticizing, pointing out faults, and blaming do not build character and self-esteem. Children and adults need security and feelings of safety to thrive and develop as individuals. What gives hope for the future are encouragement, clear-cut boundaries, and appropriate consequences for careless choices. These define nurturing.

Nurturing is not always easy, but listen to Colossians 3:12. “As God's chosen people, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” These virtues are attributes of nurturing and must be practiced until they become spontaneous. Old habits can be left behind with God’s help, which he gives abundantly.  

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And to all these qualities add love, which binds all things together in perfect unity. The peace that Christ gives us is to guide you in the decisions you make.

~Colossians 3:14-15 Good News Bible

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How Is Compassion Related to Forgiveness?

Extending forgiveness is the most important undertaking a person will ever attempt. It goes far beyond just saying, “I forgive you.” When God forgives us, he completely forgets our sins. We, however, can’t forget so completely, but when we sincerely forgive, punishment or revenge-seeking is not pursued.

If forgiveness has taken place, the wounds inflicted by the offense begin to heal. To demonstrate your sincerity in forgiving an offense, the moment the offense is remembered, immediately turn it over to God. He will help you go through the process of forgiving the offender again by instilling in you a heart of compassion.

Asking God to cleanse you from anger, resentment, and hate is another way to demonstrate your desire to forgive. When you ask God to forgive you, he acts with compassion and pity and erases your offense from his memory. To forgive authenticates the compassion Jesus extended to you.  

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There is no other god like you, O Lord; you forgive the sins of your people who have survived. You do not stay angry forever, but you take pleasure in showing us your constant love.

~Micah 7:18 Good News Bible

 

Peter came up to the Lord and asked, “How many times should I forgive someone who does something wrong to me? Is seven time enough?” Jesus answered, “Not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!”

~Matthew 18:21-22 Contemporary English Version

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What Does Forgiveness Include?

Voicing words of forgiveness to heal a relationship is a significant step in seeking reconciliation. Included are words like, “I’m sorry for the hurt and pain I caused you,” or “I regret how deeply you were offended by what I said.” Words to avoid are, “If I hurt you,” or “If I caused you pain.” Being honest and straightforward demonstrates sincerity.

Beyond words that seek forgiveness, heartfelt regret and sorrow also demonstrate sincerity. Repentance includes changing your mindset that made it possible to offend another person by saying hurtful things. True repentance leads to behaviors that build a person up.

Words verbalize what is in the heart and mind so that true repentance will allow the Lord Jesus Christ to create in you a new way of thinking, believing, and relating to others. Making amends is critical to forgiveness, so ask God to give you courage, insight, and wisdom for accomplishing these important life-changing tasks.  

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Now [repent,] change your mind and attitude to God and turn to him so he can cleanse away your sins and send you wonderful times of refreshment from the presence of the Lord.

~Acts 3:19 The Living Bible

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So Why Should You Forgive?

It isn’t easy to forget an emotional wound that cut deeply and hurt so badly that it continuously feels active and new. Most people do not delight in reliving the past, yet it seems impossible to forget what was so painful. Forgiveness is possible even where hurt and anger are entrenched in your feelings and attitudes.

When you internalize anger and resentment, you turn these powerful emotions against yourself. These emotions damage your well-being by the stress they generate. By extending forgiveness to others, a wide range of benefits become available to you and the other person. Forgiveness is validated by actions and deeds.

Make up your mind to be forgiving for your own peace of mind and clear conscience. Forgiveness is made possible by believing God has forgiven you of every sin you’ve committed. God does not hold grudges, so follow his example by forgiving others. You will not regret it.   

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Jesus said: Don’t judge others, and God won’t judge you. Don’t be hard on others, and God won’t be hard on you. Forgive others, and God will forgive you.

~Luke 6:37 Contemporary English Version

 

My prayer for you, my very dear friend, is that you may be as healthy and prosperous in every way as you are in soul.

~3 John 1:2 Phillips – New Testament in Modern English

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