In What Way Is Anger So Costly?

The high cost of maintaining anger takes its toll on those who use it as a means for coping with everyday life. Why would anyone resort to using this powerful emotion to control others or to manage the struggles everyone encounters in life? People discover early on how to use anger to manipulate others.

Children discover temper tantrums get positive results, especially in public places. Some adults take these learned behaviors into adulthood to avoid dealing with complicated issues. Excessive anger reflects an attitude of intolerance, which is interpreted as unloving and uncaring.

Anger will transform into hatred, ready to activate at the slightest provocation. Proverbs 10:12 warns that “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love for others offers forgiveness.” The solution for anger is to repent, to turn away from anger and hatred, so you will be acceptable to God and others.                       

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He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.

~Ephesians 1:7 New Living Translation

 

Now it’s time to change your ways! Turn to face God so he can wipe away your sins, pour out showers of blessing to refresh you, and send you the Messiah he prepared for you, namely, Jesus.

~Acts 3:19-20 The Message

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How Difficult Is It to Trust the Anger of Others?

Maintaining an attitude of anger over an extended timeframe can be emotionally and physically costly. In addition, an angry attitude has a negative impact on those who constantly are within range of its expression. It’s difficult to trust a person who is subject to having outbursts of hostility, either verbally or physically.

Anger is costly, for it robs both the possessor and the one to whom it’s directed of the trust and intimacy necessary for a healthy relationship. Have you noticed how even pets will react with distrust and fear at the sound of an angry voice and attitude?

It’s incredibly important to discover the root of your anger. There’s a solution for anger, and that is to turn it over to God. He will do what is good and right for you and for the one to whom your anger is directed. God’s word advises, “Do not hate. Do not seek vengeance or bear a grudge, but love others.” So turn your anger over to God right now.                      

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…My strength evaporated like water on a sunny day until I finally admitted all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, “I will confess them to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

~Psalm 32:4-5 The Living Bible

God, pick up the pieces. Put me back together again. You are my praise!

~Jeremiah 17:14 The Message

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How Is Anger Affected by Control Issues?

There are occasions when it seems every area of life is producing stress or anger. Stress is a common trigger for anger and builds up over a given period of time. God’s word warns against letting the sun set on anger, for tomorrow will bring new stress to be layered in on what you went to sleep with the night before.

So own up to stressful, angry feelings before closing your eyes to sleep. Sleepless nights often are caused by stress and anger internalized with no acceptable solutions. Even if sleep comes immediately, peaceful slumber may be fleeting as the mind resumes seeking solutions to the day’s stressful events.

Stress and anger can be relieved by realizing your lack of control in particular situations. Entrusting into God’s care what you can’t control is honorable. Jesus said, “Come to me all of you who are burdened down and I will give you rest.” Responding to Jesus’ call will help you continue celebrating Thanksgiving weekend.   

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This day belongs to the Lord! Let us celebrate and be glad today. …Tell the Lord how thankful you are, because he is kind and always merciful.

~Psalm 118:24,29 Contemporary English Version

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How Does Anger Affect Your Energy?

Anger can be a heavy drain on our emotional and spiritual energy. Predictably, anger is a reaction to stress which can come from many sources, like preparing for holidays. Prolonged anger may create a negative attitude causing inordinate stress on the body, mind, and spirit.

In some instances stress can be a positive influence, but when boundaries are pushed, anger may flare up. If children are not getting their chores finished and time is lost focusing on personal interests, then anger may blaze for non-compliance with parental expectations.

Anger can be costly emotionally by contributing to a day coupled to a foul mood. So explain your desperation and need for assistance. Seeking after righteousness is a powerful tool for taking the edge off stress and anger. Remember, God‘s mercies are new and fresh every morning, Take a moment and receive them. Have a  blessed Thanksgiving.  

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Light shines on the righteous, and gladness on the good. All you that are righteous be glad because of what the Lord has done! Remember what the holy God has done, and give thanks to him.

~Psalm 97:11-12 Good News Bible

All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.

~2 Corinthians 4:15 New Living Translation

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What Are the Triggers for Your Anger?

It’s impossible to avoid experiencing anger, whether it comes from within yourself or from others. Anger may appear as discontentment about a minor issue that needs an explanation and clarification. Everyone has faced razor-sharp anger when their physical well-being was questionable.

Anger is triggered when the emotional fiber that stitches us together appears fragile. Anger can be triggered by inconvenience, but it’s usually triggered by the perception of endangerment. It’s normal to respond with anger when frightened by uncertainty. Misinterpreting someone’s attitude and behavior also is a trigger for anger.

We live in a world overflowing with stress that steals away our joy. Therefore it’s incredibly important to focus on the joy Jesus Christ gives to those who seek his righteousness and peace. So why not focus on this gift of joy from Jesus as you celebrate Thanksgiving.  

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Always be joyful and never stop praying. Whatever happens, keep thanking God because of Jesus Christ. This is what God wants you to do.

~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Contemporary English Version 

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What's the Purpose of Healthy, Productive Anger?

A state of anger exists when individuals embrace indiscriminate power to hurt and alienate those who should be loved and respected. When anger is turned loose in an emotionally charged setting, the objective is to damage those responsible for the problems.

For some, this defines justifiable anger, but it comes from a person who’s determined to protect and defend their vulnerable self. For that person, anger is now rationalized as an offensive measure designed to get even by means of punishment. Anger and punishment then embrace each other as allies.

Healthy, productive anger management, however, determines to use this powerful emotion for creating solutions for all involved. Listen to Psalm 85:10: “Love and faithfulness will meet; righteousness and peace will embrace. Human loyalty will reach up from the earth, and God’s righteousness will reach down from heaven” to those who determine to be peacemakers. Will you? 

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A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. ...God doesn’t miss a thing – he’s alert to good and evil alike. Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.

~Proverbs 15:1,3-4 The Message

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How Are Solutions for Anger Discovered?

When anger becomes intense, feelings of love and affection gradually diminish. The old cliché, “Love conquers all,” is true if anger is not used as a weapon to diminish another person’s self-image and integrity. Angry feelings signal emotional hurt and disappointment.

Continuously obsessing about anger rarely produces desired results but rather ratchets up anger to a higher level of intensity. Seldom is the trouble associated with anger resolved without teamwork and the help of the one to whom the anger is directed. When anger’s objective is to punish, it can destroy a relationship.

Solutions for anger are discovered by communication between the offender and the offended. It takes courage and God’s grace to approach either the offended or the offender. Ask God for self-control, courage, and the words to describe your hurt feelings. Refrain from condemning your offender by remaining in prayer until you have the grace and mercy to forgive.                   

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Happy are the kind and merciful, for they shall be shown mercy.

~Matthew 5:6 The Living Bible

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How Are Expectations Related to Anger?

Anger is an emotion that can be triggered instantly with little effort. There are numerous triggers for anger, including unmet expectations. Have you ever waited for someone, and after what seemed like an eternity, they finally showed up? They blamed traffic, but you suspected something else.

Feelings of neglect can be transformed quickly into anger, especially when a lame excuse for being late is interpreted as lack of care or respect. Even if anger is controlled and stifled, it can be impossible to keep it from being expressed passively, as in silent body language.

So what could be a possible solution to anger when someone does not live up to reasonable expectations? Psalm 78:38 describes God as restraining his anger to prevent its full expression. This model can help manage anger until a time and place become available to express it verbally in a calm, healthy way. God’s way is the best way. 

           

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People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm.

~Proverbs 14:17 Good News Bible

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What Can Anger Teach Us About Ourselves?

That anger has a cutting edge to it is indisputable. For anger to pierce the heart and soul, it must be powered by fear, resentment, or hurt. The objective of anger is to diminish another’s character strengths.

By adopting this objective, we are made victims of the loneliness from alienation and guilt. If we suppress anger, we damage our character and soul. When we refuse to acknowledge the destructiveness of anger, we close the door on a vital part of our relationship with God and others.

God gave us anger to teach us how to give and receive forgiveness, which restores peace and fellowship to relationships. God’s anger caused by our sin is replaced by forgiveness and his unfailing love. Why not let this be the solution to the problems and troubles created by your anger? Then you will enjoy peace and freedom. 

                      

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Where is another God like you, who pardons the sins of the survivors among his people? You cannot stay angry with your people, for you love to be merciful. Once again you will have compassion on us. You will tread our sins beneath your feet; you will throw them into the depths of the ocean!

~Micah 7:18 The Living Bible 

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Should Anger Always Progress into Conflict?

What do you think was God’s intent for creating people with the capacity to feel and express anger? Just the sound of the word ‘anger’ has negative connotations related to its intensity and persistence, and in addition, much pain and suffering have been attributed to its existence.

An elderly man refused to visit a sister he had not seen in decades. The rift was created by hurtful remarks each had made after their father’s funeral, remarks regarding the distribution of the family estate. They had permitted their anger and hurt feelings to fester into bitterness.

God never meant for anger to be a springboard for bitterness and alienation, but rather to demonstrate love and forgiveness. Anger can helps us discover the character strengths to end conflict and turmoil. Psalm 85:1 reminds us of God’s way: “You forgave the sins of your people, so your blazing anger is now ended.” That is God’s purpose for you.                           

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But now you must get rid of all these things: anger, passion, and hateful feelings. No insults or obscene talk must ever come from your lips. … Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you.

~Colossians 3:8,13 Good News Bible

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Does Difference of Opinion Equate to Conflict?

The cutting edge of anger is so sharp that it can damage trust and respect. The intent of anger is to take away power from those perceived as threatening. Fear, at some level, takes responsibility for creating and perpetuating anger. Fear creates a fight-or-flight reaction.

Two friends moved into an office to create a business they had talked about for years. How to furnish the office immediately became a point of contention. When anger and resentment became unresolvable, the friendship dissolved, with them each going their separate ways.

Differences of opinion do not have to be destructive when respect for each person is highly valued. Respect for one another can remain at the forefront of conflict by believing Jesus Christ lives in the heart and mind of each person with whom I disagree. Therefore I can be patient and kind, for God has not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and self-control. So live by that truth.  

                        

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Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

~Romans 12:9-10 The Message

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How Does Anger Build Emotional Walls?

That anger is an emotional wall-builder is hard to dispute. Anger is a defensive measure designed to protect oneself against what is interpreted as threatening, physically or emotionally. Everyone is vulnerable when a threat is detected, so emotional walls are built in an attempt to be safe and protected.

Emotional walls are distance-creators for those of us who do not trust intimacy. Some walls are so expertly designed, they keep God at a distance and successfully stave off any attempt by him to reach our heart and soul. Yet we yearn to be changed and molded into something useful by him.

Listen, as Carl Sandburg offers himself to God in his poem, Prayers of Steel. “Lay me on an anvil, O God. Beat and hammer me into a crowbar. Let me pry loose old walls.” God’s love is the crowbar that eradicates the walls of anger and fear. He replaces these old walls with trust and peace. Trust God to do this.  I’m Olen Baker. 

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For [Christ] himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility…

~Ephesians 2:14 New International Version

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Can Anger Be Resolved Effectively?

Anger can be triggered by misinterpreting information or misreading a person’s body language. At a party where friends and associates were celebrating a business event, a man overheard a conversation between his wife and the host, which he interpreted as an attack on his character. He later accused his wife of betrayal.

Days passed before they even spoke to each other again. Hurt feelings and fear of creating an angry scene kept them silent. Finally, she asked him what triggered his anger. After revealing what he had heard, she explained they had been venting about someone at work, whose negative attitude made the workplace uncomfortable.

Feelings of rejection can trigger anger. It’s impossible to always escape feeling rejected, but angry outbursts seldom generate solutions. When these feelings surface, ask God for patience to explore the validity of what was heard and interpreted. Seeking the truth, even when it hurts, is blessed by God, who provides ways to discover solutions and healing.                      

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It is better to be patient than to fight. It is better to control your temper than to take a city.

~Proverbs 16:32 New International Readers' Version

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